DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother lives in a different country. Her family is from Brazil, and that is where she grew up. When my siblings and I graduated from high school, she decided to move back to her hometown. I enjoy going to see her and visiting the family I have there, but my mother has been nagging me a lot more than usual recently. Every time I take a vacation with my boyfriend or go away with my girlfriends, she questions why I did not visit her. I try to explain to her that a flight to Brazil costs a lot more than a flight to Florida and that I can’t spend all my vacation days on her. Do you have any advice on how I can handle this situation without hurting my mother’s feelings? -- Nagging Mother, Miami
DEAR NAGGING MOTHER: Your mother made a choice for her life that took her thousands of miles away from you. While it is important for you to carve out time and save money to see her, you also have the right to live your life. You should remind your mother -- kindly -- that as much as you love her and want to see her, she is the one who moved away. She has to understand that her choice has ramifications for the family. Suggest that you use other ways to stay close, such as talking regularly via FaceTime, Skype or WhatsApp. You can stay connected without being in each other’s physical company. Choose that together.