DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a law firm in New York City. Recently, I was working late on a case, so I went out to get dinner. When I got back to the office, I heard a strange sound coming from my boss’s office. I was worried -- I’m a 25-year-old single woman -- so I peered into the office. I saw my boss and his assistant engaging in inappropriate acts. He saw someone was standing by the window, but I don’t know if he saw it was me. What do I do? Do I confront him? Do I pretend I never saw it? I feel so uncomfortable. -- Wish I Didn't See What I Did, New York City

DEAR WISH I DIDN’T SEE WHAT I DID: Leave it alone. Unless you saw something that seemed to be causing the assistant harm, consider the incident none of your business. Very little good can come from you bringing up their affair. If your boss asks you, though, that’s a different matter. You should be honest: Note that you heard a strange sound when you were coming back into the office and investigated what it was when you saw them in the office. You can state that it made you feel uncomfortable and unsafe, if that is true. But don’t bring it up on your own.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend went out to a bar last week for his college reunion. Later in the evening, we met up at his apartment to talk about his night. Before he told me about his time, he said, “I have to tell you something, and I don’t want you to be upset.” My heart started racing immediately. He told me that he ran into his ex-girlfriend from college, and they talked for a bit. She approached him, and they caught up. Toward the end of their conversation, his ex-girlfriend told him that she still loves him and wants to know if he thinks they could ever have a future together.

I can't help but be extremely upset by this. I know I have no right to be mad at him, but I am. I don’t think he should have been talking to her in the first place, especially because this is not the first time she’s done this. He and I have been dating for more than three years now, and they broke up more than four years ago. I am so shaken up by this conversation. What should I do? -- Running Into His Ex, College Park, Maryland

DEAR RUNNING INTO HIS EX: The most important question here is how your boyfriend responded. What did he tell his ex when she professed her love for him again, years after they broke up? While he obviously cannot control his ex and her feelings, he can be crystal clear about where he stands.

If he has been direct and forthcoming with her about his commitment to you and you feel confident in his commitment, you need to let go of your anger. Don’t get riled up about something that you cannot control. Instead, focus on your relationship with your boyfriend, and trust that he is being honest with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is friends with his ex-girlfriend -- not because they want to be friends, but because their families are friends. They grew up together, and their families are extremely close. He dated this girl for two years before they broke up. I met my boyfriend in college, and we have been dating for just over two years.

My boyfriend still sees his ex because of all the family functions they go to. I know I can’t get jealous because he doesn’t do this on purpose, but it still makes me have a pit in my stomach. He broke up with her, and she had a tough time getting over him and wanted to get back with him for the longest time. It makes me anxious when they are drinking and hanging out at their family functions because I know she tries to woo him, even though he has no interest. How do I try to calm my nerves and anxiety when she’s around? -- Ex-Girlfriend Worries Me, Columbus, Ohio

DEAR EX-GIRLFRIEND WORRIES ME: Do you ever get invited to these family functions? One way to help neutralize things is for your boyfriend to include you in some of these gatherings. Be honest with him. Tell him you don’t want to feel uncomfortable about his ex, but you are human, and her constant presence in his life bothers you. Ask him to support you by including you in these family functions. Hopefully, he will understand and agree.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have three children and a pretty good life. He lost his real estate job in 2009 and struggled for a few years to figure out how to earn a living. He has had a good job for a few years now, so things are looking up. But that time when he was out of work messed with his self-esteem. I ended up being the principal breadwinner for a while, which helped our finances but not his ego.

Fast forward to today, and he and I are having a lot of friction in our marriage. I think it stems from those rocky financial years. I don’t know how to help make things better. I love my husband and want to make sure that we are good. I try to talk to him about it, but so far nothing has helped. What can I do? -- Testing My Marriage, Seattle

DEAR TESTING MY MARRIAGE: Financial strife often causes friction in marriage. The good news is that you and your husband are on more stable footing than you were some years back. Now you have to work on getting your spirits in a healthier space. Find a therapist who works with individuals and couples to sort through their challenges. A professional can be helpful because he or she will listen objectively and help guide your interactions with each other. If you both want your marriage to work, this support may help you to discover the tools to revitalize your bond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a hard life growing up, but I have done well for myself. Many people suggested that I write a book about my experiences, and I decided to go for it -- and now I am finished. I decided to self-publish because it was too hard to find a publisher.

I let a couple of friends read my book for their input. One friend warned me that I had named too many names. I did tell a lot of stories from childhood that included some bad scenes with friends and neighbors. My friend thought I should not say those people’s names because it would hurt their feelings or embarrass them. They are part of my story, though, and everything is true. What do you think? -- New Author, New Brunswick, New Jersey

DEAR NEW AUTHOR: It is important for you to think about the cast of characters featured in your book. Just because something is true does not mean that it should be dredged up and revealed publicly, especially if it includes other people. Even when information is true, you should be mindful of what to share and how to share it. For the more sensitive stories, perhaps you can tell them without naming anyone. Instead, describe the scenario and either rename the people or just depict them without stating their names.

The fact that you transformed your life is wonderful. What you don’t want to do is embarrass others who may not have climbed out of their circumstances or who have moved past them and have no interest in revisiting the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine asked me to give him advice about some business ideas. He wanted me to be a sounding board for him, which is something we have done for each other over the years. I agreed, and we set a time to talk. At the appointed time, I texted him and then called. Nothing. No response. I followed up a couple of days later, and he said he was busy with his kids and camp, so that’s why he didn’t respond. Huh? He asked me to help him out, but he didn’t think about my time at all and just blew me off. We agreed that we would talk another time. At this point I will talk to him, but I don’t think I need to try to set it up. What do you think? -- Unprofessional Friend, St. Louis

DEAR UNPROFESSIONAL FRIEND: Clearly, your friend has divided attention. It is understandable that he was distracted by his children. That’s not an excuse, but it does happen to parents, even when they have good intentions. It is wonderful that you are still willing to talk through ideas with your friend. It’s on him, though. Wait to hear from him to set up another appointment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)