DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is friends with his ex-girlfriend -- not because they want to be friends, but because their families are friends. They grew up together, and their families are extremely close. He dated this girl for two years before they broke up. I met my boyfriend in college, and we have been dating for just over two years.

My boyfriend still sees his ex because of all the family functions they go to. I know I can’t get jealous because he doesn’t do this on purpose, but it still makes me have a pit in my stomach. He broke up with her, and she had a tough time getting over him and wanted to get back with him for the longest time. It makes me anxious when they are drinking and hanging out at their family functions because I know she tries to woo him, even though he has no interest. How do I try to calm my nerves and anxiety when she’s around? -- Ex-Girlfriend Worries Me, Columbus, Ohio

DEAR EX-GIRLFRIEND WORRIES ME: Do you ever get invited to these family functions? One way to help neutralize things is for your boyfriend to include you in some of these gatherings. Be honest with him. Tell him you don’t want to feel uncomfortable about his ex, but you are human, and her constant presence in his life bothers you. Ask him to support you by including you in these family functions. Hopefully, he will understand and agree.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have three children and a pretty good life. He lost his real estate job in 2009 and struggled for a few years to figure out how to earn a living. He has had a good job for a few years now, so things are looking up. But that time when he was out of work messed with his self-esteem. I ended up being the principal breadwinner for a while, which helped our finances but not his ego.

Fast forward to today, and he and I are having a lot of friction in our marriage. I think it stems from those rocky financial years. I don’t know how to help make things better. I love my husband and want to make sure that we are good. I try to talk to him about it, but so far nothing has helped. What can I do? -- Testing My Marriage, Seattle

DEAR TESTING MY MARRIAGE: Financial strife often causes friction in marriage. The good news is that you and your husband are on more stable footing than you were some years back. Now you have to work on getting your spirits in a healthier space. Find a therapist who works with individuals and couples to sort through their challenges. A professional can be helpful because he or she will listen objectively and help guide your interactions with each other. If you both want your marriage to work, this support may help you to discover the tools to revitalize your bond.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a hard life growing up, but I have done well for myself. Many people suggested that I write a book about my experiences, and I decided to go for it -- and now I am finished. I decided to self-publish because it was too hard to find a publisher.

I let a couple of friends read my book for their input. One friend warned me that I had named too many names. I did tell a lot of stories from childhood that included some bad scenes with friends and neighbors. My friend thought I should not say those people’s names because it would hurt their feelings or embarrass them. They are part of my story, though, and everything is true. What do you think? -- New Author, New Brunswick, New Jersey

DEAR NEW AUTHOR: It is important for you to think about the cast of characters featured in your book. Just because something is true does not mean that it should be dredged up and revealed publicly, especially if it includes other people. Even when information is true, you should be mindful of what to share and how to share it. For the more sensitive stories, perhaps you can tell them without naming anyone. Instead, describe the scenario and either rename the people or just depict them without stating their names.

The fact that you transformed your life is wonderful. What you don’t want to do is embarrass others who may not have climbed out of their circumstances or who have moved past them and have no interest in revisiting the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine asked me to give him advice about some business ideas. He wanted me to be a sounding board for him, which is something we have done for each other over the years. I agreed, and we set a time to talk. At the appointed time, I texted him and then called. Nothing. No response. I followed up a couple of days later, and he said he was busy with his kids and camp, so that’s why he didn’t respond. Huh? He asked me to help him out, but he didn’t think about my time at all and just blew me off. We agreed that we would talk another time. At this point I will talk to him, but I don’t think I need to try to set it up. What do you think? -- Unprofessional Friend, St. Louis

DEAR UNPROFESSIONAL FRIEND: Clearly, your friend has divided attention. It is understandable that he was distracted by his children. That’s not an excuse, but it does happen to parents, even when they have good intentions. It is wonderful that you are still willing to talk through ideas with your friend. It’s on him, though. Wait to hear from him to set up another appointment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: An acquaintance of mine is taking care of his wife who has early onset Alzheimer's disease. She has been deteriorating fast and now needs round-the-clock care. It is so sad to see what has become of this once-vibrant woman, and her husband has seemed terribly stressed out whenever I have run into him or read his social media posts.

I randomly saw him a couple of months ago, and he introduced me to a woman whom he called his girlfriend. He told me that he is totally committed to caring for his wife, but, for all intents and purposes, she is gone. She is lost in her mind and doesn’t know him. I listened to what he said and was gracious to his girlfriend. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s really none of my business, but there he was with this woman. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through this. I don’t want to judge him. How should I react? -- Lost to Alzheimer’s, Boston

DEAR LOST TO ALZHEIMER’S: I spoke to a woman who is a caregiver for caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients. She explained that the toll that it takes for caregivers is close to unbearable. Partners of victims stricken with this disease often lose their connections to their loved ones, and many succumb to poor health long before the Alzheimer’s patient dies. Joko Gilbert, co-author with David Davis of "Support the Caregiver: 9 Strategies for Turning the Stress of Alzheimer’s Caregiving Into Transformational Growth," suggests that you not judge but instead be supportive. The strategies included in this book provide mindful ways of staying connected to spirit and remembering love and kindness through the enormous challenges that caregivers face each day.

To your specific question about how to react to your acquaintance, just offer loving compassion. Clearly, he needs this woman in his life at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has had a knee injury for a couple of months, and I have been begging him to go to the doctor. He refuses, taking vitamins and exercising instead. I get his interest in holistic options, but his leg is swollen and painful. I have looked up his symptoms and I am worried that he could have a blood clot or worse. When I share my worries, he brushes me off. About two months ago, a friend of ours dropped dead from an undiagnosed blood clot in his leg. I told my husband about that, and still he won’t go. I am so worried that I am going to lose him because of his stubbornness. Can you think of anything to say to him that might get him to make a doctor’s visit? -- Leg Pain, Manhattan, New York

DEAR LEG PAIN: Research and find a doctor who can see your husband. Make an appointment and take him yourself. If you have to dupe him to get there, tell him you have an emergency that you need his help managing. Or you can plead with him, express your concern for his life and tell him that if he loves you, he will indulge you this one time and see a doctor to find out what’s going on. Western medicine is good at diagnosis. Depending on what you learn, you can determine the next steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)