DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a hard life growing up, but I have done well for myself. Many people suggested that I write a book about my experiences, and I decided to go for it -- and now I am finished. I decided to self-publish because it was too hard to find a publisher.

I let a couple of friends read my book for their input. One friend warned me that I had named too many names. I did tell a lot of stories from childhood that included some bad scenes with friends and neighbors. My friend thought I should not say those people’s names because it would hurt their feelings or embarrass them. They are part of my story, though, and everything is true. What do you think? -- New Author, New Brunswick, New Jersey

DEAR NEW AUTHOR: It is important for you to think about the cast of characters featured in your book. Just because something is true does not mean that it should be dredged up and revealed publicly, especially if it includes other people. Even when information is true, you should be mindful of what to share and how to share it. For the more sensitive stories, perhaps you can tell them without naming anyone. Instead, describe the scenario and either rename the people or just depict them without stating their names.

The fact that you transformed your life is wonderful. What you don’t want to do is embarrass others who may not have climbed out of their circumstances or who have moved past them and have no interest in revisiting the past.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine asked me to give him advice about some business ideas. He wanted me to be a sounding board for him, which is something we have done for each other over the years. I agreed, and we set a time to talk. At the appointed time, I texted him and then called. Nothing. No response. I followed up a couple of days later, and he said he was busy with his kids and camp, so that’s why he didn’t respond. Huh? He asked me to help him out, but he didn’t think about my time at all and just blew me off. We agreed that we would talk another time. At this point I will talk to him, but I don’t think I need to try to set it up. What do you think? -- Unprofessional Friend, St. Louis

DEAR UNPROFESSIONAL FRIEND: Clearly, your friend has divided attention. It is understandable that he was distracted by his children. That’s not an excuse, but it does happen to parents, even when they have good intentions. It is wonderful that you are still willing to talk through ideas with your friend. It’s on him, though. Wait to hear from him to set up another appointment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: An acquaintance of mine is taking care of his wife who has early onset Alzheimer's disease. She has been deteriorating fast and now needs round-the-clock care. It is so sad to see what has become of this once-vibrant woman, and her husband has seemed terribly stressed out whenever I have run into him or read his social media posts.

I randomly saw him a couple of months ago, and he introduced me to a woman whom he called his girlfriend. He told me that he is totally committed to caring for his wife, but, for all intents and purposes, she is gone. She is lost in her mind and doesn’t know him. I listened to what he said and was gracious to his girlfriend. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s really none of my business, but there he was with this woman. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through this. I don’t want to judge him. How should I react? -- Lost to Alzheimer’s, Boston

DEAR LOST TO ALZHEIMER’S: I spoke to a woman who is a caregiver for caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients. She explained that the toll that it takes for caregivers is close to unbearable. Partners of victims stricken with this disease often lose their connections to their loved ones, and many succumb to poor health long before the Alzheimer’s patient dies. Joko Gilbert, co-author with David Davis of "Support the Caregiver: 9 Strategies for Turning the Stress of Alzheimer’s Caregiving Into Transformational Growth," suggests that you not judge but instead be supportive. The strategies included in this book provide mindful ways of staying connected to spirit and remembering love and kindness through the enormous challenges that caregivers face each day.

To your specific question about how to react to your acquaintance, just offer loving compassion. Clearly, he needs this woman in his life at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has had a knee injury for a couple of months, and I have been begging him to go to the doctor. He refuses, taking vitamins and exercising instead. I get his interest in holistic options, but his leg is swollen and painful. I have looked up his symptoms and I am worried that he could have a blood clot or worse. When I share my worries, he brushes me off. About two months ago, a friend of ours dropped dead from an undiagnosed blood clot in his leg. I told my husband about that, and still he won’t go. I am so worried that I am going to lose him because of his stubbornness. Can you think of anything to say to him that might get him to make a doctor’s visit? -- Leg Pain, Manhattan, New York

DEAR LEG PAIN: Research and find a doctor who can see your husband. Make an appointment and take him yourself. If you have to dupe him to get there, tell him you have an emergency that you need his help managing. Or you can plead with him, express your concern for his life and tell him that if he loves you, he will indulge you this one time and see a doctor to find out what’s going on. Western medicine is good at diagnosis. Depending on what you learn, you can determine the next steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends was dating an ex-girlfriend of mine, which I thought was great. She is a nice woman who deserves a good man, but she is bipolar. I just couldn’t manage her mood swings. I tried, but the roller coaster of her emotions and behavior was too much for me. We broke up amicably.

When my friend started dating her, I didn’t mention her diagnosis, but I did caution him to treat her well. I even made him promise me that he wouldn’t leave her, so I was angry when I learned that they broke up. I’m mad at him for not sticking it out with her. She has been through so much. I feel bad for her. Should I say anything to him? -- Concerned Ex, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR CONCERNED EX: Reach out to your ex to make sure she is OK. As her friend, you can check in on her. Be careful not to promise anything that you cannot deliver.

As far as speaking to your friend, step back for a moment. Think about yourself. You weren’t able to stay with your ex. You don’t know what happened to cause their breakup -- and it’s none of your business. Further, you cannot make somebody promise to stay in a relationship. Heck, even married people have difficulty staying together. You are peripheral to their relationship. Now is not the time for you to get involved.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son keeps asking if we are going on vacation this summer. I’m sure it is because most of his private school friends are traveling extensively. We cannot afford to do that. We did put him in camp for two weeks, which he loved, and we also have plans for day trips to nearby beaches. At the end of August, we will make our yearly trip to visit family in North Carolina. But that’s it.

How can I explain to my son that our summer plans work for us, even if they are different from what his friends do? -- Modest Summer, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR MODEST SUMMER: It can be difficult to feel comfortable when you are comparing yourself to your peers. This is true for people of all ages. Your job as a parent is to teach your son to value what your family chooses to do, regardless of what his friends do with their summers.

Visiting family is a wonderful ritual that you should talk up so that your son understands how important it is to stay in touch with relatives. You can remind him of the great fun he had at camp. When you take your day trips to the beach and elsewhere, make a big deal out of the experience so that he pays attention. You can also make trips into New York City to visit museums, art shows and outdoor concerts. Many of these activities have nominal costs or are free. Fill your son’s time with exciting adventures that will help him value his own experiences, separate from his friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)