DEAR HARRIETTE: An acquaintance of mine is taking care of his wife who has early onset Alzheimer's disease. She has been deteriorating fast and now needs round-the-clock care. It is so sad to see what has become of this once-vibrant woman, and her husband has seemed terribly stressed out whenever I have run into him or read his social media posts.

I randomly saw him a couple of months ago, and he introduced me to a woman whom he called his girlfriend. He told me that he is totally committed to caring for his wife, but, for all intents and purposes, she is gone. She is lost in her mind and doesn’t know him. I listened to what he said and was gracious to his girlfriend. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s really none of my business, but there he was with this woman. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through this. I don’t want to judge him. How should I react? -- Lost to Alzheimer’s, Boston

DEAR LOST TO ALZHEIMER’S: I spoke to a woman who is a caregiver for caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients. She explained that the toll that it takes for caregivers is close to unbearable. Partners of victims stricken with this disease often lose their connections to their loved ones, and many succumb to poor health long before the Alzheimer’s patient dies. Joko Gilbert, co-author with David Davis of "Support the Caregiver: 9 Strategies for Turning the Stress of Alzheimer’s Caregiving Into Transformational Growth," suggests that you not judge but instead be supportive. The strategies included in this book provide mindful ways of staying connected to spirit and remembering love and kindness through the enormous challenges that caregivers face each day.

To your specific question about how to react to your acquaintance, just offer loving compassion. Clearly, he needs this woman in his life at this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has had a knee injury for a couple of months, and I have been begging him to go to the doctor. He refuses, taking vitamins and exercising instead. I get his interest in holistic options, but his leg is swollen and painful. I have looked up his symptoms and I am worried that he could have a blood clot or worse. When I share my worries, he brushes me off. About two months ago, a friend of ours dropped dead from an undiagnosed blood clot in his leg. I told my husband about that, and still he won’t go. I am so worried that I am going to lose him because of his stubbornness. Can you think of anything to say to him that might get him to make a doctor’s visit? -- Leg Pain, Manhattan, New York

DEAR LEG PAIN: Research and find a doctor who can see your husband. Make an appointment and take him yourself. If you have to dupe him to get there, tell him you have an emergency that you need his help managing. Or you can plead with him, express your concern for his life and tell him that if he loves you, he will indulge you this one time and see a doctor to find out what’s going on. Western medicine is good at diagnosis. Depending on what you learn, you can determine the next steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends was dating an ex-girlfriend of mine, which I thought was great. She is a nice woman who deserves a good man, but she is bipolar. I just couldn’t manage her mood swings. I tried, but the roller coaster of her emotions and behavior was too much for me. We broke up amicably.

When my friend started dating her, I didn’t mention her diagnosis, but I did caution him to treat her well. I even made him promise me that he wouldn’t leave her, so I was angry when I learned that they broke up. I’m mad at him for not sticking it out with her. She has been through so much. I feel bad for her. Should I say anything to him? -- Concerned Ex, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR CONCERNED EX: Reach out to your ex to make sure she is OK. As her friend, you can check in on her. Be careful not to promise anything that you cannot deliver.

As far as speaking to your friend, step back for a moment. Think about yourself. You weren’t able to stay with your ex. You don’t know what happened to cause their breakup -- and it’s none of your business. Further, you cannot make somebody promise to stay in a relationship. Heck, even married people have difficulty staying together. You are peripheral to their relationship. Now is not the time for you to get involved.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son keeps asking if we are going on vacation this summer. I’m sure it is because most of his private school friends are traveling extensively. We cannot afford to do that. We did put him in camp for two weeks, which he loved, and we also have plans for day trips to nearby beaches. At the end of August, we will make our yearly trip to visit family in North Carolina. But that’s it.

How can I explain to my son that our summer plans work for us, even if they are different from what his friends do? -- Modest Summer, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR MODEST SUMMER: It can be difficult to feel comfortable when you are comparing yourself to your peers. This is true for people of all ages. Your job as a parent is to teach your son to value what your family chooses to do, regardless of what his friends do with their summers.

Visiting family is a wonderful ritual that you should talk up so that your son understands how important it is to stay in touch with relatives. You can remind him of the great fun he had at camp. When you take your day trips to the beach and elsewhere, make a big deal out of the experience so that he pays attention. You can also make trips into New York City to visit museums, art shows and outdoor concerts. Many of these activities have nominal costs or are free. Fill your son’s time with exciting adventures that will help him value his own experiences, separate from his friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been sober for nine years. It was a struggle in the beginning, but now I choose not to drink or smoke weed, even if my friends are doing it.

After learning about Demi Lovato's recent relapse after six years of sobriety, plus plenty of other celebrities who seem to relapse after they have gone to treatment centers, I’m a little worried. My life was a mess when I was drinking and getting high, but I loved it anyway. I think I have gotten far enough away from the lure of that life, but I wonder: If it could happen to someone like Demi, could it happen to me? -- Clean and Sober, Dallas

DEAR CLEAN AND SOBER: As you know, staying sober is an active choice that you make every day. Statistics suggest that people who have been sober for five years or longer have only a 15 percent relapse rate. In other words, they usually stay sober.

That said, remember what you learned in early recovery: People, places and things are what you must look out for. Be mindful not to put yourself in situations that could trigger the desire for you to reignite bad habits. Stick with positive people whose values you share. Get counseling if you need support. You can always go to an Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meeting when you are feeling unstable.

For more information, read this article from Psychology Today: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/craving/201402/how-often-do-long-term-sober-alcoholics-and-addicts-relapse.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year I was at a party, and I was roofied. My friends told me that I went home with my girlfriends that night and they put me to bed, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t tell my parents because I knew they would worry, but I talked with a school counselor for some guidance. She told me I could involve the school because it happened at a fraternity house and that I should tell my parents, but I didn’t want to.

Ever since that party, I have been wary about going out at school. My friends have been trying to push me to go out, but I refuse to because I’m scarred by what happened. As my final year is about to start, I can’t help but think about that night. I know my friends are going to try and push me to go out, and I’m honestly petrified. I know I should face my fears at some point, but how? -- Roofied, Philadelphia

DEAR ROOFIED: I’m sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, this is common practice at many college parties, which is why my strong recommendation is that you never take a drink from anyone. Instead, whatever you drink should come from a bottle or can that you open yourself. Literally drink only drinks that were unopened before they got to you. If you put your drink down, it is no longer your drink. This is true even if you are having a soft drink. You must open the can or bottle yourself. I understand why you feel nervous about going out to parties at school, but if you follow these simple precautions, you should be able to avoid this problem.

As far as dealing with the emotional aspect of what happened, you should tell your parents, even now. Plus, you should go to your campus psychologist and talk it through. Being able to talk about your feelings may help you to gain back your confidence.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)