DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends was dating an ex-girlfriend of mine, which I thought was great. She is a nice woman who deserves a good man, but she is bipolar. I just couldn’t manage her mood swings. I tried, but the roller coaster of her emotions and behavior was too much for me. We broke up amicably.

When my friend started dating her, I didn’t mention her diagnosis, but I did caution him to treat her well. I even made him promise me that he wouldn’t leave her, so I was angry when I learned that they broke up. I’m mad at him for not sticking it out with her. She has been through so much. I feel bad for her. Should I say anything to him? -- Concerned Ex, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR CONCERNED EX: Reach out to your ex to make sure she is OK. As her friend, you can check in on her. Be careful not to promise anything that you cannot deliver.

As far as speaking to your friend, step back for a moment. Think about yourself. You weren’t able to stay with your ex. You don’t know what happened to cause their breakup -- and it’s none of your business. Further, you cannot make somebody promise to stay in a relationship. Heck, even married people have difficulty staying together. You are peripheral to their relationship. Now is not the time for you to get involved.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son keeps asking if we are going on vacation this summer. I’m sure it is because most of his private school friends are traveling extensively. We cannot afford to do that. We did put him in camp for two weeks, which he loved, and we also have plans for day trips to nearby beaches. At the end of August, we will make our yearly trip to visit family in North Carolina. But that’s it.

How can I explain to my son that our summer plans work for us, even if they are different from what his friends do? -- Modest Summer, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR MODEST SUMMER: It can be difficult to feel comfortable when you are comparing yourself to your peers. This is true for people of all ages. Your job as a parent is to teach your son to value what your family chooses to do, regardless of what his friends do with their summers.

Visiting family is a wonderful ritual that you should talk up so that your son understands how important it is to stay in touch with relatives. You can remind him of the great fun he had at camp. When you take your day trips to the beach and elsewhere, make a big deal out of the experience so that he pays attention. You can also make trips into New York City to visit museums, art shows and outdoor concerts. Many of these activities have nominal costs or are free. Fill your son’s time with exciting adventures that will help him value his own experiences, separate from his friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been sober for nine years. It was a struggle in the beginning, but now I choose not to drink or smoke weed, even if my friends are doing it.

After learning about Demi Lovato's recent relapse after six years of sobriety, plus plenty of other celebrities who seem to relapse after they have gone to treatment centers, I’m a little worried. My life was a mess when I was drinking and getting high, but I loved it anyway. I think I have gotten far enough away from the lure of that life, but I wonder: If it could happen to someone like Demi, could it happen to me? -- Clean and Sober, Dallas

DEAR CLEAN AND SOBER: As you know, staying sober is an active choice that you make every day. Statistics suggest that people who have been sober for five years or longer have only a 15 percent relapse rate. In other words, they usually stay sober.

That said, remember what you learned in early recovery: People, places and things are what you must look out for. Be mindful not to put yourself in situations that could trigger the desire for you to reignite bad habits. Stick with positive people whose values you share. Get counseling if you need support. You can always go to an Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meeting when you are feeling unstable.

For more information, read this article from Psychology Today: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/craving/201402/how-often-do-long-term-sober-alcoholics-and-addicts-relapse.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year I was at a party, and I was roofied. My friends told me that I went home with my girlfriends that night and they put me to bed, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t tell my parents because I knew they would worry, but I talked with a school counselor for some guidance. She told me I could involve the school because it happened at a fraternity house and that I should tell my parents, but I didn’t want to.

Ever since that party, I have been wary about going out at school. My friends have been trying to push me to go out, but I refuse to because I’m scarred by what happened. As my final year is about to start, I can’t help but think about that night. I know my friends are going to try and push me to go out, and I’m honestly petrified. I know I should face my fears at some point, but how? -- Roofied, Philadelphia

DEAR ROOFIED: I’m sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, this is common practice at many college parties, which is why my strong recommendation is that you never take a drink from anyone. Instead, whatever you drink should come from a bottle or can that you open yourself. Literally drink only drinks that were unopened before they got to you. If you put your drink down, it is no longer your drink. This is true even if you are having a soft drink. You must open the can or bottle yourself. I understand why you feel nervous about going out to parties at school, but if you follow these simple precautions, you should be able to avoid this problem.

As far as dealing with the emotional aspect of what happened, you should tell your parents, even now. Plus, you should go to your campus psychologist and talk it through. Being able to talk about your feelings may help you to gain back your confidence.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school senior, and I have a sister who is a freshman. We were raised in a conservative home with two loving parents. My parents considered me the "golden child" because I always got good grades and stayed out of trouble. My sister, on the other hand, is the "black sheep." She is rebellious, doesn’t do well in school and is constantly in trouble. Coming into high school, she had a bad reputation, and she hasn’t made it any better for herself through her actions this past year.

My parents are aware of my sister's flunking grades, but I don’t think they are as aware of her actions. I don’t want to rat her out, but I do think that she needs to calm down because I’m starting to worry about her. Do you think that I should have a talk with my sister before I get my parents involved? -- Worried Older Sister, Milwaukee

DEAR WORRIED OLDER SISTER: You should have an ongoing dialogue with your sister. Don’t lecture her. Try to find out what’s going on. You already represent everything she is not, so be mindful not to act like you’ve got it all together. Instead, express your concern for her. Ask her what she wants to do with her life after high school. Suggest that she give that some thought so she can make a plan. You will be leaving in a year, and you want her to be all right when you are gone.

If you suspect that she is involved in something that is dangerous or harmful, you should tell your parents -- even if you worry that she will get mad at you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I absolutely hate my job. I have been working for this company for five months, and I can’t stand it. I like a few of my co-workers, but I can't stand most of them and I truly despise my boss. I want to look for a new job so badly, but I was always told that you should stay a year at your first job before switching, even if you hate it. Plus, it looks good to future employers. But now I don’t believe in that at all. If you are miserable, you should be allowed to switch jobs, right? Even if it is your first position out of college? I just want to be happy where I am, and right now I am so miserable, I hate waking up to go to work. -- Miserable at My Job, Baltimore

DEAR MISERABLE AT MY JOB: Evaluate exactly what is making you miserable. Sometimes a simple attitude adjustment can help you to refresh your opinion of your job and make it easier to stay for that year. Even if you do start looking for another job, you need a positive attitude, or it will be harder for you to be attractive to a future employer. Work on tempering your feelings about your boss and co-workers. Focus on the work and master whatever you are given to do. At the same time, set your sights on the type of job you want next. You can begin the research and go on interviews. Be sure not to complain about your current job during this process.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)