DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been sober for nine years. It was a struggle in the beginning, but now I choose not to drink or smoke weed, even if my friends are doing it.

After learning about Demi Lovato's recent relapse after six years of sobriety, plus plenty of other celebrities who seem to relapse after they have gone to treatment centers, I’m a little worried. My life was a mess when I was drinking and getting high, but I loved it anyway. I think I have gotten far enough away from the lure of that life, but I wonder: If it could happen to someone like Demi, could it happen to me? -- Clean and Sober, Dallas

DEAR CLEAN AND SOBER: As you know, staying sober is an active choice that you make every day. Statistics suggest that people who have been sober for five years or longer have only a 15 percent relapse rate. In other words, they usually stay sober.

That said, remember what you learned in early recovery: People, places and things are what you must look out for. Be mindful not to put yourself in situations that could trigger the desire for you to reignite bad habits. Stick with positive people whose values you share. Get counseling if you need support. You can always go to an Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meeting when you are feeling unstable.

For more information, read this article from Psychology Today: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/craving/201402/how-often-do-long-term-sober-alcoholics-and-addicts-relapse.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year I was at a party, and I was roofied. My friends told me that I went home with my girlfriends that night and they put me to bed, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t tell my parents because I knew they would worry, but I talked with a school counselor for some guidance. She told me I could involve the school because it happened at a fraternity house and that I should tell my parents, but I didn’t want to.

Ever since that party, I have been wary about going out at school. My friends have been trying to push me to go out, but I refuse to because I’m scarred by what happened. As my final year is about to start, I can’t help but think about that night. I know my friends are going to try and push me to go out, and I’m honestly petrified. I know I should face my fears at some point, but how? -- Roofied, Philadelphia

DEAR ROOFIED: I’m sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, this is common practice at many college parties, which is why my strong recommendation is that you never take a drink from anyone. Instead, whatever you drink should come from a bottle or can that you open yourself. Literally drink only drinks that were unopened before they got to you. If you put your drink down, it is no longer your drink. This is true even if you are having a soft drink. You must open the can or bottle yourself. I understand why you feel nervous about going out to parties at school, but if you follow these simple precautions, you should be able to avoid this problem.

As far as dealing with the emotional aspect of what happened, you should tell your parents, even now. Plus, you should go to your campus psychologist and talk it through. Being able to talk about your feelings may help you to gain back your confidence.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school senior, and I have a sister who is a freshman. We were raised in a conservative home with two loving parents. My parents considered me the "golden child" because I always got good grades and stayed out of trouble. My sister, on the other hand, is the "black sheep." She is rebellious, doesn’t do well in school and is constantly in trouble. Coming into high school, she had a bad reputation, and she hasn’t made it any better for herself through her actions this past year.

My parents are aware of my sister's flunking grades, but I don’t think they are as aware of her actions. I don’t want to rat her out, but I do think that she needs to calm down because I’m starting to worry about her. Do you think that I should have a talk with my sister before I get my parents involved? -- Worried Older Sister, Milwaukee

DEAR WORRIED OLDER SISTER: You should have an ongoing dialogue with your sister. Don’t lecture her. Try to find out what’s going on. You already represent everything she is not, so be mindful not to act like you’ve got it all together. Instead, express your concern for her. Ask her what she wants to do with her life after high school. Suggest that she give that some thought so she can make a plan. You will be leaving in a year, and you want her to be all right when you are gone.

If you suspect that she is involved in something that is dangerous or harmful, you should tell your parents -- even if you worry that she will get mad at you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I absolutely hate my job. I have been working for this company for five months, and I can’t stand it. I like a few of my co-workers, but I can't stand most of them and I truly despise my boss. I want to look for a new job so badly, but I was always told that you should stay a year at your first job before switching, even if you hate it. Plus, it looks good to future employers. But now I don’t believe in that at all. If you are miserable, you should be allowed to switch jobs, right? Even if it is your first position out of college? I just want to be happy where I am, and right now I am so miserable, I hate waking up to go to work. -- Miserable at My Job, Baltimore

DEAR MISERABLE AT MY JOB: Evaluate exactly what is making you miserable. Sometimes a simple attitude adjustment can help you to refresh your opinion of your job and make it easier to stay for that year. Even if you do start looking for another job, you need a positive attitude, or it will be harder for you to be attractive to a future employer. Work on tempering your feelings about your boss and co-workers. Focus on the work and master whatever you are given to do. At the same time, set your sights on the type of job you want next. You can begin the research and go on interviews. Be sure not to complain about your current job during this process.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old daughter, and one of the things that we love to do together is to go to the nail salon. We get matching manicure-pedicures. It is so much fun and a way for us to bond. My husband hates this. He says that it is dangerous for me to allow my daughter to have toxic products used on her hands and skin. He has gone on and on about how the beauty industry is unregulated and we should not be putting paint onto our daughter’s tender nails. He totally killed the fun of our experience, but I can’t ignore him. How can I keep up this tradition in a healthier manner? -- Beauty Queen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEAUTY QUEEN: Your husband is not wrong about the lack of regulation in the beauty industry. It is also true that some nail polish can be toxic. The good news is that there is non-toxic polish on the market made especially for children. Many companies make nontoxic nail polish in bright colors specifically for children. There are also nontoxic nail polish removers. Take your own remover and color to the salon so that your daughter can be safe and still enjoy this bonding moment with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter who is about to go away to college. I have noticed that she wears clothing that is too revealing, in my view. She wears a lot of sheer clothing, high midriffs and low-rise pants. I know a lot of girls wear these clothes, but hers always seem extreme. Her shorts tend to be the tightest and shortest. Everything seems to be exaggerated on her. She doesn’t listen to me when I suggest that her attire isn’t appropriate for certain environments. She does have a cousin who is close to her and me. Do you think it would be OK for me to ask her cousin to talk to her? -- Scantily Clad Teen, Rochester, New York

DEAR SCANTILY CLAD TEEN: Do you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Now is the time for you to engage the village. If your daughter refuses to listen to you, call on her cousin. You have to start by asking the cousin what she thinks about your daughter’s attire and whether she agrees with you. If she does share your opinion, ask her to share her thoughts with your daughter. It will be important for her to hear from a peer what her clothing projects to others, including potential employers or dates. If there are other teens or young adults you can get to talk to her, line them up.

Since your daughter does still live at home under your roof, you can also draw the line on what you think is too scandalous. You can tell her that certain outfits are off limits and cannot leave the house. She will get mad, but hopefully she will also get the message.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)