DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school senior, and I have a sister who is a freshman. We were raised in a conservative home with two loving parents. My parents considered me the "golden child" because I always got good grades and stayed out of trouble. My sister, on the other hand, is the "black sheep." She is rebellious, doesn’t do well in school and is constantly in trouble. Coming into high school, she had a bad reputation, and she hasn’t made it any better for herself through her actions this past year.

My parents are aware of my sister's flunking grades, but I don’t think they are as aware of her actions. I don’t want to rat her out, but I do think that she needs to calm down because I’m starting to worry about her. Do you think that I should have a talk with my sister before I get my parents involved? -- Worried Older Sister, Milwaukee

DEAR WORRIED OLDER SISTER: You should have an ongoing dialogue with your sister. Don’t lecture her. Try to find out what’s going on. You already represent everything she is not, so be mindful not to act like you’ve got it all together. Instead, express your concern for her. Ask her what she wants to do with her life after high school. Suggest that she give that some thought so she can make a plan. You will be leaving in a year, and you want her to be all right when you are gone.

If you suspect that she is involved in something that is dangerous or harmful, you should tell your parents -- even if you worry that she will get mad at you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I absolutely hate my job. I have been working for this company for five months, and I can’t stand it. I like a few of my co-workers, but I can't stand most of them and I truly despise my boss. I want to look for a new job so badly, but I was always told that you should stay a year at your first job before switching, even if you hate it. Plus, it looks good to future employers. But now I don’t believe in that at all. If you are miserable, you should be allowed to switch jobs, right? Even if it is your first position out of college? I just want to be happy where I am, and right now I am so miserable, I hate waking up to go to work. -- Miserable at My Job, Baltimore

DEAR MISERABLE AT MY JOB: Evaluate exactly what is making you miserable. Sometimes a simple attitude adjustment can help you to refresh your opinion of your job and make it easier to stay for that year. Even if you do start looking for another job, you need a positive attitude, or it will be harder for you to be attractive to a future employer. Work on tempering your feelings about your boss and co-workers. Focus on the work and master whatever you are given to do. At the same time, set your sights on the type of job you want next. You can begin the research and go on interviews. Be sure not to complain about your current job during this process.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old daughter, and one of the things that we love to do together is to go to the nail salon. We get matching manicure-pedicures. It is so much fun and a way for us to bond. My husband hates this. He says that it is dangerous for me to allow my daughter to have toxic products used on her hands and skin. He has gone on and on about how the beauty industry is unregulated and we should not be putting paint onto our daughter’s tender nails. He totally killed the fun of our experience, but I can’t ignore him. How can I keep up this tradition in a healthier manner? -- Beauty Queen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEAUTY QUEEN: Your husband is not wrong about the lack of regulation in the beauty industry. It is also true that some nail polish can be toxic. The good news is that there is non-toxic polish on the market made especially for children. Many companies make nontoxic nail polish in bright colors specifically for children. There are also nontoxic nail polish removers. Take your own remover and color to the salon so that your daughter can be safe and still enjoy this bonding moment with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter who is about to go away to college. I have noticed that she wears clothing that is too revealing, in my view. She wears a lot of sheer clothing, high midriffs and low-rise pants. I know a lot of girls wear these clothes, but hers always seem extreme. Her shorts tend to be the tightest and shortest. Everything seems to be exaggerated on her. She doesn’t listen to me when I suggest that her attire isn’t appropriate for certain environments. She does have a cousin who is close to her and me. Do you think it would be OK for me to ask her cousin to talk to her? -- Scantily Clad Teen, Rochester, New York

DEAR SCANTILY CLAD TEEN: Do you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Now is the time for you to engage the village. If your daughter refuses to listen to you, call on her cousin. You have to start by asking the cousin what she thinks about your daughter’s attire and whether she agrees with you. If she does share your opinion, ask her to share her thoughts with your daughter. It will be important for her to hear from a peer what her clothing projects to others, including potential employers or dates. If there are other teens or young adults you can get to talk to her, line them up.

Since your daughter does still live at home under your roof, you can also draw the line on what you think is too scandalous. You can tell her that certain outfits are off limits and cannot leave the house. She will get mad, but hopefully she will also get the message.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My history teacher has been doing drugs outside his working hours. I know this because I saw him hanging out with drug dealers last week on the street, and I watched him exchange money for a bag of drugs. I like my teacher as he has taught me a lot about ways to improve my knowledge of history and how to be a hardworking student.

My teacher's drug habits do not affect his professionalism while he is teaching. That being said, it has become evident to me that I am taking advice and learning from someone who regularly engages in activities that I am prohibited from and that make me uncomfortable. He has also taught me never to tattle on people, especially those I respect. Still, I do not feel comfortable approaching him to tell him how I feel or trying to explain what is right in this situation. Do you think I should try talking to his superior, my parents or his colleagues, or do I do my best to forget about it? -- Concerned About Teacher, Akron, Ohio

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT TEACHER: I do not recommend that you address this directly with your teacher. An active drug addict is likely to deny his behavior and possibly retaliate against you to protect himself. Start with your parents. Tell them what you saw and why you are concerned. Ask them to help you navigate this. While you may not want to endanger your teacher’s job, you need to understand that it is he who is jeopardizing his future by using drugs in the first place. It may be that the school will help him get help to quit using drugs. Get your parents to help you figure out next steps.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in an affluent town, but in a not-so-affluent family. Everyone I went to school with had tons of money, but my family never did. As I’m getting older (I’m 18), my friends are starting to want to go out and do activities that cost a lot. I don’t want to miss out on the dinners, shopping sprees and outings my friends go on because I get bad “FOMO” (fear of missing out), but I can’t keep up with their lifestyles. They all use their parents’ credit cards, so money is never an issue for them. I’ve been saying no to a few of the things that they do, but they always try to pressure me to tag along. How can I partake in the activities my friends go on when half the time I can’t afford them? -- If I Were a Rich Girl, Greenwich, Connecticut

DEAR IF I WERE A RICH GIRL: It is likely that your friends already know why you can’t hang with them. You should be honest and direct with them. Say that you would love to do all of the things they invite you to participate in, but you simply can’t afford it. Tell them you will hang with them when you can, and that’s it. If someone offers to cover your dinner or other expenses on occasion, that’s great, but don’t ask for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)