DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 5-year-old daughter, and one of the things that we love to do together is to go to the nail salon. We get matching manicure-pedicures. It is so much fun and a way for us to bond. My husband hates this. He says that it is dangerous for me to allow my daughter to have toxic products used on her hands and skin. He has gone on and on about how the beauty industry is unregulated and we should not be putting paint onto our daughter’s tender nails. He totally killed the fun of our experience, but I can’t ignore him. How can I keep up this tradition in a healthier manner? -- Beauty Queen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEAUTY QUEEN: Your husband is not wrong about the lack of regulation in the beauty industry. It is also true that some nail polish can be toxic. The good news is that there is non-toxic polish on the market made especially for children. Many companies make nontoxic nail polish in bright colors specifically for children. There are also nontoxic nail polish removers. Take your own remover and color to the salon so that your daughter can be safe and still enjoy this bonding moment with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter who is about to go away to college. I have noticed that she wears clothing that is too revealing, in my view. She wears a lot of sheer clothing, high midriffs and low-rise pants. I know a lot of girls wear these clothes, but hers always seem extreme. Her shorts tend to be the tightest and shortest. Everything seems to be exaggerated on her. She doesn’t listen to me when I suggest that her attire isn’t appropriate for certain environments. She does have a cousin who is close to her and me. Do you think it would be OK for me to ask her cousin to talk to her? -- Scantily Clad Teen, Rochester, New York

DEAR SCANTILY CLAD TEEN: Do you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Now is the time for you to engage the village. If your daughter refuses to listen to you, call on her cousin. You have to start by asking the cousin what she thinks about your daughter’s attire and whether she agrees with you. If she does share your opinion, ask her to share her thoughts with your daughter. It will be important for her to hear from a peer what her clothing projects to others, including potential employers or dates. If there are other teens or young adults you can get to talk to her, line them up.

Since your daughter does still live at home under your roof, you can also draw the line on what you think is too scandalous. You can tell her that certain outfits are off limits and cannot leave the house. She will get mad, but hopefully she will also get the message.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My history teacher has been doing drugs outside his working hours. I know this because I saw him hanging out with drug dealers last week on the street, and I watched him exchange money for a bag of drugs. I like my teacher as he has taught me a lot about ways to improve my knowledge of history and how to be a hardworking student.

My teacher's drug habits do not affect his professionalism while he is teaching. That being said, it has become evident to me that I am taking advice and learning from someone who regularly engages in activities that I am prohibited from and that make me uncomfortable. He has also taught me never to tattle on people, especially those I respect. Still, I do not feel comfortable approaching him to tell him how I feel or trying to explain what is right in this situation. Do you think I should try talking to his superior, my parents or his colleagues, or do I do my best to forget about it? -- Concerned About Teacher, Akron, Ohio

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT TEACHER: I do not recommend that you address this directly with your teacher. An active drug addict is likely to deny his behavior and possibly retaliate against you to protect himself. Start with your parents. Tell them what you saw and why you are concerned. Ask them to help you navigate this. While you may not want to endanger your teacher’s job, you need to understand that it is he who is jeopardizing his future by using drugs in the first place. It may be that the school will help him get help to quit using drugs. Get your parents to help you figure out next steps.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in an affluent town, but in a not-so-affluent family. Everyone I went to school with had tons of money, but my family never did. As I’m getting older (I’m 18), my friends are starting to want to go out and do activities that cost a lot. I don’t want to miss out on the dinners, shopping sprees and outings my friends go on because I get bad “FOMO” (fear of missing out), but I can’t keep up with their lifestyles. They all use their parents’ credit cards, so money is never an issue for them. I’ve been saying no to a few of the things that they do, but they always try to pressure me to tag along. How can I partake in the activities my friends go on when half the time I can’t afford them? -- If I Were a Rich Girl, Greenwich, Connecticut

DEAR IF I WERE A RICH GIRL: It is likely that your friends already know why you can’t hang with them. You should be honest and direct with them. Say that you would love to do all of the things they invite you to participate in, but you simply can’t afford it. Tell them you will hang with them when you can, and that’s it. If someone offers to cover your dinner or other expenses on occasion, that’s great, but don’t ask for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m about to turn 14, so I’m in my prime teenage years. I have an older brother and a younger brother. My mom died when I was 4, so it’s always just been my dad, my brothers and me. Now that I’m in high school and getting older, I’m going through things that I can’t or don’t want to talk to my dad about. I don’t know who else to talk to. My whole life has always been dominated by men, which was never an issue before now. I want to talk about girl things with an adult, but I don’t know who to turn to. -- Struggling Teen, New Orleans

DEAR STRUGGLING TEEN: It makes sense for you to want female wisdom at this time in your life. Think about your extended family. Do you have any aunts or female cousins who could be a trusting confidante? What about neighbors or members of your church or house of fellowship? You want to find someone who shares your values, so these are safe places to look. Beyond these places, look to your guidance counselor at school. Ask for a referral. Often, schools have mental health professionals who may be able to offer a confidential and comforting ear. You may want to join the Boys and Girls Club in your neighborhood or another community organization that focuses on teen girls. Do some research, but you can definitely find someone who can serve the role that is missing in your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been best friends with “Clare” since I was in pre-K. Our moms are best friends, so naturally we are best friends. We’ve always done everything together, but things are starting to change. Ever since we entered high school, Clare has changed. She started getting major attention from guys and started hanging out with a different crowd. I don’t like the people she hangs around with.

Recently, Clare has started to dabble in drinking and drugs. I know she’s only doing it to fit in and seem cool, but it’s so not her. It upsets me to see her get like this because our relationship has started to drift. I tried telling her, but she brushes me off because she thinks she’s cooler than me. She’s truly a different person. Do I stop reaching out to her? -- Lost BFF, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR LOST BFF: Now is a time for you to take on a role that may seem uncool but could save your friend’s life: You need to tell your mother what’s going on with Clare. Tell her you want to confide in her because you aren’t sure what to do. Be specific with what you know that Clare is doing. Have you seen her drinking or using drugs? Has she confessed this behavior to you? Only share what you know to be true. This should include that Clare no longer listens to you or includes you in her social life, so you don’t believe you can reach her. Ask your mother to talk to her mother about this. Know that this could cost you your friendship, at least temporarily. But the loss could save Clare’s life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)