DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my girlfriends confided in me that she is having marital struggles. I felt bad for her. Clearly, she is going through a tough time. I did my best to listen well and to talk less, but in the end, I told her that I have been having my own struggles, and if we are being honest, a few of our mutual friends have had some ups and downs of late. I didn’t say this to diminish her personal issues, but it is true that for those of us who have been married for a few years (some for more than 10), stuff comes up. I didn’t have any grand solution for her other than to say that I know, in my case, we just keep working at it. Do you think I let her down by telling my story and letting her know that she’s not alone? I think she was hoping that there was some miracle advice I could give her that would heal her wounds. -- Marital Bliss, Albuquerque, New Mexico

DEAR MARITAL BLISS: When friends are in pain, of course you want to help them feel better. When it comes to marriage, there is no playbook to follow. That said, it can be comforting to know that others share your experience. Even if your friend didn’t seem to want to hear about how directly connected your experience may be to hers, it may give her a bit of perspective.

Marriages that last must weather emotional storms. For most couples, every single day is not blissful. Instead, there can be any number of conflicts that arise that have to be faced. It was good for you to let your friend know that she is not alone. Couples do sometimes have difficulties. Recommend to her that they go to couples counseling. What you should not do is attempt to be a surrogate counselor yourself. Stay a supportive friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have worked out almost every day since the beginning of the year. I am proud of my dedication but bummed out that now that summer's here, I haven’t gotten close to my summer weight. I know that I didn’t put the weight on in just one year, but I did think that if I was committed to fitness, it would pay off in a bigger way. What am I doing wrong? I’m feeling defeated. -- Not Fit Enough, Denver

DEAR NOT FIT ENOUGH: Patience and long-term commitment to your fitness and overall health are your anchors here. I’m sorry you did not reach your summer goal, but please do not give up. What my trainer has shared with me is that the exercise is essential, but the other requirement is being dogged about what you put in your mouth. What you eat and drink affects your weight more than anything. Cutting back significantly on calorie intake is the key to shedding pounds. You should log your caloric intake daily. You can use any number of tracker systems to make it easy. This will likely identify ways in which you can trim your diet and, in turn, your waist.

You should also get a physical from your internist to ensure that you are not facing any underlying health concerns that you need to address.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been looking for a summer baby-sitting job, so I put an ad on an online community board and have gotten a couple of responses. One family is looking for a few days a week, which is perfect for me. I arranged to meet the mother and kids prior to my start date, which I thought was normal. When I got there, the mom seemed to be out of it and disinterested in me -- and even in her kids.

I didn’t get a good feeling about the parents, but the kids seem easy and adorable. Do you think I should take the job even if I don’t feel comfortable around the parents? -- Weird Parents, Philadelphia

DEAR WEIRD PARENTS: You should keep your eyes open, but go ahead and take the job. Pay attention when you work with the children to ensure that they feel safe and well cared for. Talk to the mom before she goes out to learn of any idiosyncrasies you should know about the children or their family rituals. Ask about the children’s habits and the parents' expectations.

It could be that the mom was having a bad day. It could be that there are deeper issues that will come up at some point. As the baby sitter, your job is to care for the children. You do not need to double as a psychologist or adviser. Watch, pay attention and assess whether it can become a good fit for a few days per week. If not, give your notice and say that you don’t think it’s working.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is very close with his family, which is one of the things I love about him. I am also very close with his parents and often have dinner at their house. One thing that is getting on my nerves lately is that his parents -- especially his mom -- do absolutely everything for him. His mom books his doctor appointments, makes his lunch and everything in between. He is 22 years old. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Maybe it’s because I am the total opposite of that, or that I think he should be doing this stuff himself. Is this normal? Will he ever grow out of having everything done for him? -- Dating a Mama's Boy, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR DATING A MAMA’S BOY: This is a lot to observe, but realize that you can’t do anything about it. The relationship between mother and son is strong. You will do best to stay out of it. When you and your boyfriend are alone, tell him that you have noticed how much his mother tends to him. You can also point out that you hope that if you two decide to build a life together, you would like to share responsibilities, not assume the role that his mother has played. Nor would you want any children that you have to feel that they should rely on you to do everything for them. It’s good to plant these seeds now, since they will likely crop up again if you choose to stay together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends growing up got engaged a couple of months ago. The wedding is in August, and I’m excited to attend. One thing that has been on my mind is whether I’ll be getting a plus-one with my invitation. I would love to have my girlfriend there with me, but my friend doesn’t know her that well. I think it’s awkward to bring up, but I would like to know. What is the proper etiquette about wedding invites? If he is one of my best friends, shouldn’t I get a plus-one? -- Plus-One Please, Baltimore

DEAR PLUS-ONE PLEASE: Weddings are stressful for couples and families because they are so expensive and detailed. One of the biggest stressors is the guest list. Each person invited costs hundreds of dollars to host. Obviously, that’s not what your friend was thinking about when he invited you or anybody else. Chances are, he made a big guest list and whittled it down over time when getting practical about managing expectations and budget.

That said, the old-school wisdom about a plus-one is that one should be offered that invitation if one is married or engaged. In today’s world where many people are coupled but not married, the rules bend a bit. Still, the wedding couple can decide to invite a few single friends without plus-ones, especially if they are not in long-term, committed relationships.

You can ask your friend if your girlfriend will be invited, but don’t press him if the answer is no. Instead, ask who else among your mutual friends will be there so you know who you can spend time with.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is visiting from New York City and is staying with me in my apartment in Los Angeles for a week. We are very close and usually tell each other everything. In the past couple of months, he has been asking me for money quite frequently. They are not huge amounts, but it’s still money that I’ve earned that I’m now giving away. When I ask my brother what the money's for, he says for food and transportation, but I have a feeling he owes someone money and needs to pay it off. Should I push my brother into telling me? -- Brother's in a Financial Pickle, Los Angeles

DEAR BROTHER’S IN A FINANCIAL PICKLE: It is OK for you to stop giving your brother money. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable doling out money to him regularly. He should be able to pay for his own food and transportation. You are happy to host him at your home, but you do not want to pay for his livelihood. Add that if he is in trouble and needs to talk about it, you are all ears, but the constant money transfer must stop now.

If you stop giving him cash, this may trigger your brother to be more forthcoming -- especially if there is a loan involved. Just be clear about how far you intend to go to help him. It’s great to support your brother, but there has to be a limit, for his own good and for your wallet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)