DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been looking for a summer baby-sitting job, so I put an ad on an online community board and have gotten a couple of responses. One family is looking for a few days a week, which is perfect for me. I arranged to meet the mother and kids prior to my start date, which I thought was normal. When I got there, the mom seemed to be out of it and disinterested in me -- and even in her kids.

I didn’t get a good feeling about the parents, but the kids seem easy and adorable. Do you think I should take the job even if I don’t feel comfortable around the parents? -- Weird Parents, Philadelphia

DEAR WEIRD PARENTS: You should keep your eyes open, but go ahead and take the job. Pay attention when you work with the children to ensure that they feel safe and well cared for. Talk to the mom before she goes out to learn of any idiosyncrasies you should know about the children or their family rituals. Ask about the children’s habits and the parents' expectations.

It could be that the mom was having a bad day. It could be that there are deeper issues that will come up at some point. As the baby sitter, your job is to care for the children. You do not need to double as a psychologist or adviser. Watch, pay attention and assess whether it can become a good fit for a few days per week. If not, give your notice and say that you don’t think it’s working.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is very close with his family, which is one of the things I love about him. I am also very close with his parents and often have dinner at their house. One thing that is getting on my nerves lately is that his parents -- especially his mom -- do absolutely everything for him. His mom books his doctor appointments, makes his lunch and everything in between. He is 22 years old. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Maybe it’s because I am the total opposite of that, or that I think he should be doing this stuff himself. Is this normal? Will he ever grow out of having everything done for him? -- Dating a Mama's Boy, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR DATING A MAMA’S BOY: This is a lot to observe, but realize that you can’t do anything about it. The relationship between mother and son is strong. You will do best to stay out of it. When you and your boyfriend are alone, tell him that you have noticed how much his mother tends to him. You can also point out that you hope that if you two decide to build a life together, you would like to share responsibilities, not assume the role that his mother has played. Nor would you want any children that you have to feel that they should rely on you to do everything for them. It’s good to plant these seeds now, since they will likely crop up again if you choose to stay together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends growing up got engaged a couple of months ago. The wedding is in August, and I’m excited to attend. One thing that has been on my mind is whether I’ll be getting a plus-one with my invitation. I would love to have my girlfriend there with me, but my friend doesn’t know her that well. I think it’s awkward to bring up, but I would like to know. What is the proper etiquette about wedding invites? If he is one of my best friends, shouldn’t I get a plus-one? -- Plus-One Please, Baltimore

DEAR PLUS-ONE PLEASE: Weddings are stressful for couples and families because they are so expensive and detailed. One of the biggest stressors is the guest list. Each person invited costs hundreds of dollars to host. Obviously, that’s not what your friend was thinking about when he invited you or anybody else. Chances are, he made a big guest list and whittled it down over time when getting practical about managing expectations and budget.

That said, the old-school wisdom about a plus-one is that one should be offered that invitation if one is married or engaged. In today’s world where many people are coupled but not married, the rules bend a bit. Still, the wedding couple can decide to invite a few single friends without plus-ones, especially if they are not in long-term, committed relationships.

You can ask your friend if your girlfriend will be invited, but don’t press him if the answer is no. Instead, ask who else among your mutual friends will be there so you know who you can spend time with.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is visiting from New York City and is staying with me in my apartment in Los Angeles for a week. We are very close and usually tell each other everything. In the past couple of months, he has been asking me for money quite frequently. They are not huge amounts, but it’s still money that I’ve earned that I’m now giving away. When I ask my brother what the money's for, he says for food and transportation, but I have a feeling he owes someone money and needs to pay it off. Should I push my brother into telling me? -- Brother's in a Financial Pickle, Los Angeles

DEAR BROTHER’S IN A FINANCIAL PICKLE: It is OK for you to stop giving your brother money. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable doling out money to him regularly. He should be able to pay for his own food and transportation. You are happy to host him at your home, but you do not want to pay for his livelihood. Add that if he is in trouble and needs to talk about it, you are all ears, but the constant money transfer must stop now.

If you stop giving him cash, this may trigger your brother to be more forthcoming -- especially if there is a loan involved. Just be clear about how far you intend to go to help him. It’s great to support your brother, but there has to be a limit, for his own good and for your wallet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am having a midlife crisis. I’m in my 50s already, so maybe I’m late to the party, but I’m worried about everything. I have children whom I still have to put through college. My work was downsized several years ago, and I haven’t figured out how to earn enough money to help support my family. My husband is helpful, but he needs to pull more weight. I don’t see a clear path to better times. We have piles of bills and limited income. I don’t want to put this worry onto my son as that won’t help him in his studies or his life. But I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I don’t feel like getting out of bed because it costs more for me to get up and eat, drive -- everything. I know I’m in a bad place. Can you help me? -- Stuck, Seattle

DEAR STUCK: I’m sorry that you are feeling so burdened by your circumstances. It can seem impossible to climb out of a bad situation when you are paralyzed by negativity. A sign that you need help is not wanting to get out of bed or eat. You need a lifeline NOW. If you are even considering that your life is no longer valuable, there is help available at your fingertips. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and talk to someone who can help you gain some perspective. This hotline is available 24 hours a day.

If you feel that you can get up and out of bed, take little steps to help regain your grounding. I strongly recommend professional support. This could be career counseling along with mental health counseling. You may need to rethink the type of work that you do moving forward. Many people have multiple careers and ways of earning a living in their lives. It may be time for your next chapter. AARP offers a great free tool to help you figure out your next steps. Go to aarp.org/about-aarp/life-reimagined/ to learn more, but know that the people they choose to help the most are in your very situation, at a crossroads. Good luck to you!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my job unexpectedly, and I’m embarrassed to tell my girlfriend. We just moved into an apartment together a few months ago, and now I’m not sure what we’re going to do. It’s hard to find jobs these days, and I’m worried that I won’t find something soon. I promised her I would take care of her, and now I feel like I’m disappointing her and breaking my promise to her. What should I do? -- Jobless Man, Detroit

DEAR JOBLESS MAN: The way to take care of your girlfriend is to tell her the truth -- immediately. Keeping her in the dark means you are allowing her to believe that your family finances are secure when they are not. Yes, this will be hard to discuss, but things happen in life. How you handle them is what demonstrates your strength, courage and commitment. Make a plan together for the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)