DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 53-year-old divorced woman. I have three children who are all in their 20s and living on their own. I have been divorced for 10 years now. I recently started dating this guy who I like and can see spending the rest of my life with. I don't think I would ever get remarried, but I see a real future with him. This is the first boyfriend I have had since my ex-husband, and the first man my kids will be introduced to. I need some advice regarding how I should introduce my boyfriend to my children. Where is a good setting? Do I have them meet him all together? We have been dating for three months; is now an appropriate time to have them meet? -- Meeting Mom's New Boyfriend, Cleveland

DEAR MEETING MOM’S NEW BOYFRIEND: Think about your children and how you suspect they will react to your boyfriend. It could be efficient to have everybody come over to your house for a meal where you introduce them at once, or you could schedule individual times for them to meet. If you do the latter, you will have to tell all of them that you have a boyfriend and want to invite them to meet him. It’s best to break the news at the same time so your children don’t think you are playing favorites. If you and your boyfriend both believe this relationship is serious, it’s fine to meet the kids after three months. You don’t have to tell them that you are fully committed though. Just be with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years, and our families finally met last week. Despite the similarities my boyfriend and I share with each other, our families did not seem to have much in common. I never thought about this before, considering they had never met, but now I'm getting worried. My boyfriend and I are both family-oriented, and I’m worried that our families’ differences are going to get in the way of our relationship. Do you think that our families could negatively affect our relationship down the line? -- Family Differences, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR FAMILY DIFFERENCES: You haven’t expressed what the differences are, so it is hard to say whether you can overcome them. I will say that it is important in long-term relationships and marriages for the couple to figure out ways to get along with both families. It is also often important for both families to be able to get together peacefully at least once a year if they live nearby. Many families are much more actively involved in each other’s lives, though. You will have to figure out what works for you.

What’s most important is for you and your boyfriend to determine what your shared values are and what you want in life. Next, evaluate your family differences, and talk about them to see if anything feels like a deal breaker. If you stand united about family dynamics, you create space to be able to navigate whatever comes your way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I take the same train every morning to work. I’ve figured out where to stand on the platform so that the doors stop directly in front of me. I guess a lot of other people have figured out the same thing. I’ve been noticing a nicely dressed woman standing near me in the morning. I get on before she does and take my seat. Every day for the past week, she has sat down next to me, even though there are other seats open. We don’t speak a word to each other, but I do feel her look up to stare at me a couple of times. Do you think this behavior is odd? Should I confront the woman? -- Train Stalker, Westchester, New York

DEAR TRAIN STALKER: Rather than assuming the negative -- namely that this woman is stalking you -- be open to her obvious overture to connect with you. Speak to her. Say “Good morning,” and start a conversation. Start off vague to see where the conversation goes. If she is not forthcoming about her intentions, you can tell her you have noticed that she chooses to sit next to you each day, and you were wondering why. Try not to be accusatory. Be inquisitive instead. If you don’t want her to sit next to you, consider picking another seat or even a different car. You may not want to alter your routine, but it may be the only way to shake her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and we have such an amazing relationship. However, he lives in Seattle and I live in Philadelphia, so we see each other only every couple of months. The other night, I went out with a couple of my girlfriends, and we ran into my ex. I never thought twice about him because I am so in love with my current boyfriend, but I was shocked when I saw him. We ended up talking for quite some time, and after our conversation ended, he kissed me. I think cheating is the most awful thing to do to a person, and I have never done it before.

I haven’t told my boyfriend about the kiss yet because I don’t want us to break up over something that meant nothing, but I know if it were the other way around, I would be devastated. Do you think I should tell my boyfriend about what happened? -- Cheating Girlfriend, Philadelphia

DEAR CHEATING GIRLFRIEND: If you feel like you cheated by talking to your ex or letting him kiss you, you should tell your boyfriend. You may want to wait until you see him next, which will give you perspective on the situation. Was it a one-off, or have the two of you reconnected in any way? If it is the former, you can honestly tell your boyfriend that you ran into your ex and it was intense but meaningless. If sparks continue to fly, you will need to report that and figure out what you want to do next.

Long-distance relationships can work, but they are fraught with challenges -- not the least of which is managing outside attractions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I am trying to stay strong for her, but each day it gets harder and harder. My mom and I have always been extremely close, and when she was diagnosed, I absolutely lost it. I can’t imagine losing her; I don’t think I will be able to cope. It scares me to the point where I get sick over the thought of it. My siblings are also devastated by the news, but they don’t seem as upset as me. My mom keeps telling me to go out and do something fun for myself, but I just want to be with her all the time. How am I supposed to do something fun for myself when I know there is a chance I could be losing my mom in a couple of months? -- Depressed Daughter, Minneapolis

DEAR DEPRESSED DAUGHTER: Your mother needs you to get a handle on your emotions. Reality check: Your mother is alive NOW. She needs you NOW. She is fighting for her life NOW. Another reality check: All that is promised to us is the moment we are in -- nothing more. So, rather than becoming incapacitated about what may happen in the future, be fully present now. That means staying attentive to your mother while also paying attention to your own life. Your mother needs space, too. If she is encouraging you to go out and do something fun, the message is for you and for her. She has to deal with what she is facing without worrying about how you are handling it. Make the decision to do all that you can for your mother. This should include taking care of yourself. And invoke grace to help you along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents were never married, but are no longer together. Soon after they separated, my dad got married to another woman whom I like and get along with. I think they are great together and make each other happy.

Recently, my dad has been hinting to me that my stepmom wants to have or adopt a child. I can't even begin to explain how against the idea I am. My dad is 56 years old with three grown children -- he should not be having another child at this point in his life! I know the push must be coming from my stepmom (she is significantly younger than my dad). How do I talk him out of this? -- Dad Too Old for Another Kid, Roanoke, Virginia

DEAR DAD TOO OLD FOR ANOTHER KID: This is your dad’s decision. He has married a woman who wants children. It is natural for him and his wife to consider this seriously. This weighs heavily on his heart, I am sure. Stop trying to force his choices. Instead, tell him your concerns, and ask him if he has made a plan. Ask if he has created a will and other safety precautions in case this new child outlives him. Ask about what his plans are for you and your siblings. Do your best to be happy for him. He sacrificed a lot for you. Let him know you appreciate him and want him to be happy. You can tell him that you are worried about what it may all mean. Ask him to think it through very strategically before deciding.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)