DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I am trying to stay strong for her, but each day it gets harder and harder. My mom and I have always been extremely close, and when she was diagnosed, I absolutely lost it. I can’t imagine losing her; I don’t think I will be able to cope. It scares me to the point where I get sick over the thought of it. My siblings are also devastated by the news, but they don’t seem as upset as me. My mom keeps telling me to go out and do something fun for myself, but I just want to be with her all the time. How am I supposed to do something fun for myself when I know there is a chance I could be losing my mom in a couple of months? -- Depressed Daughter, Minneapolis

DEAR DEPRESSED DAUGHTER: Your mother needs you to get a handle on your emotions. Reality check: Your mother is alive NOW. She needs you NOW. She is fighting for her life NOW. Another reality check: All that is promised to us is the moment we are in -- nothing more. So, rather than becoming incapacitated about what may happen in the future, be fully present now. That means staying attentive to your mother while also paying attention to your own life. Your mother needs space, too. If she is encouraging you to go out and do something fun, the message is for you and for her. She has to deal with what she is facing without worrying about how you are handling it. Make the decision to do all that you can for your mother. This should include taking care of yourself. And invoke grace to help you along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents were never married, but are no longer together. Soon after they separated, my dad got married to another woman whom I like and get along with. I think they are great together and make each other happy.

Recently, my dad has been hinting to me that my stepmom wants to have or adopt a child. I can't even begin to explain how against the idea I am. My dad is 56 years old with three grown children -- he should not be having another child at this point in his life! I know the push must be coming from my stepmom (she is significantly younger than my dad). How do I talk him out of this? -- Dad Too Old for Another Kid, Roanoke, Virginia

DEAR DAD TOO OLD FOR ANOTHER KID: This is your dad’s decision. He has married a woman who wants children. It is natural for him and his wife to consider this seriously. This weighs heavily on his heart, I am sure. Stop trying to force his choices. Instead, tell him your concerns, and ask him if he has made a plan. Ask if he has created a will and other safety precautions in case this new child outlives him. Ask about what his plans are for you and your siblings. Do your best to be happy for him. He sacrificed a lot for you. Let him know you appreciate him and want him to be happy. You can tell him that you are worried about what it may all mean. Ask him to think it through very strategically before deciding.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A family with two little girls moved in nearby. The girls are adorable, and the parents ask me to baby-sit often. The first time I went over to watch the girls, the parents were extremely sweet and cool. When they got home at the end of the night, the mom suggested that her husband drive me home. Everything was fine until he started to say a few things that made me uncomfortable; I brushed it off because I thought it was all in my head.

A couple of weekends later, the mom texted me asking to baby-sit for the girls again. I said yes and went over. At the end of the night, the mom suggested that her husband drive me home again. I insisted that it was OK and that I would rather walk because I live around the corner, but her husband was adamant that he got me home safe. This time, the husband started making suggestive remarks to me that made me extremely uncomfortable. I told my mom, and she told me to never baby-sit for this family again. I feel bad because the mom texts me often to baby-sit for the girls. Should I tell her that I am no longer interested in watching them? -- Uncomfortable Baby Sitter, Towson, Maryland

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE BABY SITTER: Your mother is right in saying you should not work for this family anymore. I think you should take it one step further and reveal to the mother what happened. Do not embellish; simply tell her what her husband said to you and how it made you feel. This could come as a total shock to her. If so, it may prompt her to have a heart-to-heart with her husband.

There is a chance that she is aware of her husband's behavior. This couple may be swingers making an overture to you. No matter what the reason, you should remain clear on your intention, which is to tell the mom why you will no longer baby-sit for the family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is about to turn 7. He is my youngest and the third boy in the family. Ever since he was little, he has been terrified of getting haircuts. When I say terrified, I'm not talking about the nervous feeling most kids get when they go to the barbershop; my son gets hysterical and his whole body starts shaking. This is new to me, because my two older sons never had this irrational fear. Some people say I should take him to a psychologist to see if there's something deeper going on, but others are saying this is just a phase he will grow out of. What do you think? -- Terrified of the Barber, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR TERRIFIED OF THE BARBER: I wonder if your son got nicked at some point when he went to the barber, or if the sound of the buzz clippers scares him. In any case, try cutting his hair yourself and see how he reacts. Perhaps you can do it until his fear subsides. If that doesn’t help, psychological support is a good next step.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently got a job offer for a better-paying, higher position that fits his interests. The one big downside to this new job is that it is in Dubai. If it were just my husband and me, I wouldn't question the decision for one second, but since we have our children to consider, I need some help. Our kids are in elementary school. We have lived in the same house for their whole lives, so it feels wrong pulling them out of school and uprooting them. At the same time, it might be an amazing opportunity for us as a family! What do you think is the best situation for my family? Stay where we are? Or leave? -- Move to Dubai?, Denver

DEAR MOVE TO DUBAI?: While this is a big move, know that many Americans have made it. I know families who have moved to Dubai and to Abu Dhabi, and it has worked for them. Dubai offers more flexibility than some think. Yes, there are recommendations about dressing more modestly than Americans, especially for women, but it is a cosmopolitan city that welcomes foreign nationals.

The good news for your children is that they are young and adaptable. They might be sad at first due to the unknown and the thought of losing their friends. If you move over the summer, it will be easier than in the middle of the school year.

My suggestion: Go for it! It doesn’t have to be forever.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have been separated for eight months now, and they have both been seeing other people. I enjoy hanging out with my mom and her boyfriend, but I hate being around my dad and his new girlfriend. I feel like she has changed him. Since he started dating her, he has been acting differently. He asks my siblings and me to hang out with him and go over to his house every now and then, but we don’t like being around him that much. I tried explaining this to my mom, but she doesn’t care to listen because she and my dad don’t speak anymore.

I feel bad that my dad genuinely wants to spend time together but I don’t want to because of who he has become. Is it rude of me to tell him the ways in which he has changed when I know that he’s happy? -- Daughter of a Different Dad, Atlanta

DEAR DAUGHTER OF A DIFFERENT DAD: The person you need to talk to is your dad. Your duty is to be open and honest with him and attempt to forge a solid relationship with him. Tell him the truth, with specifics, about what he has done that bothers you. Ask him to be mindful of what he says and does as it hurts you. Commit to making the effort to spend more time with him to see if you can work it out. Ask to spend alone time with him when his girlfriend isn’t around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)