DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I’m in a relationship with my professor. He’s 27 and just graduated from grad school last year, so we’re within the same age group, since I just turned 20.

My friends think it’s crazy that we’re together, but he’s exactly the type of man I see myself with: He’s smart, handsome and kind, and things have been going well. We are secretive about our relationship because he says if the school were to find out, he could get in trouble. I wouldn’t want him to lose his job, but making sure we go to restaurants and other activities away from campus is a lot. Do you think this relationship will work out, with the sneaking around? -- Lost Girl, Washington, D.C.

DEAR LOST GIRL: You both need to throw a little cold water in your faces. Find out what the school’s policy is about faculty dating students. Don’t guess at it. It may not be against the rules, considering your age, but you need to find out for sure. If, indeed, you are breaking a clear moral code of the school, you may want to consider cooling off until you graduate. Yes, that’s a long time from now, but if you honestly believe this could be your guy, be disciplined about not crossing the line anymore. Difficult but possible to do! Otherwise, you jeopardize his career and future and your chances of ever being able to be with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out my daughter is sexually active -- at 15! My wife and I found out through her text messages because our iClouds are connected. I just want to ground her. My wife told me it’s OK, and we have to act calm, but I can’t. She’s my little girl, and I wasn’t prepared for this to happen. My wife thinks this is her area of expertise, which I can agree with because she has been through this, but I think I should be in the conversation. Should I let my wife handle this, or do you think I participate as well? -- Stressed-Out Father, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR STRESSED OUT FATHER: If your wife thinks your daughter will listen to her, let her begin the conversation. What you both want to avoid is getting so angry that you speak to her in a way that shuts her down. What needs to happen is for you to get through to her. Perhaps her mom can start the conversation, letting her know what you have learned and asking her to talk about it. The goal is to create space for meaningful conversation. You want to find out who the sexual partner(s) may be, how long this has been happening and if she is using protection. Find out if she has been forced to do anything she's uncomfortable with. And learn what her intentions are. She needs to be either taught or reminded of the consequences of sexual activity before being mature enough to manage it. Personally, I think your wife should encourage your daughter to reconsider her sexual activity.

Your wife should take your daughter to the doctor for a thorough examination to ensure that she is not pregnant and to rule out sexually transmitted infections. The doctor can also talk to her about sexual protection and activity.

When you feel less upset, it will be your turn to talk to your daughter. At that time, speak from your heart, but do your best to avoid judgment. You want to reinforce your family’s values.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 27 years old, and I am the middle child of three girls. My sisters and I are extremely close, and we rarely ever argue. About two months ago, my baby sister got engaged to her college boyfriend. I’m trying to be happy for her, but I am struggling. I never would have thought that I would be getting married after my little sister. I know she didn’t do anything wrong, but I am so upset. I feel embarrassed that she is engaged before me, and I feel embarrassed that I am even mad about the situation in the first place!

I’m trying to set my negative feelings aside and just be happy for her. Do you think I should bite my tongue and be happy for her during this time? Or do you think I should tell her why I have been moody these past few months? -- Jealous Sister, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR JEALOUS SISTER: Even though you are young, you are feeling old because your baby sister is getting married. That is not an unusual feeling. The pressure to get to that next rite of passage is real, and it grows even more palpable when you have sibling dynamics at work as well.

So how should you handle these issues? Do not tell your sister how you are feeling. Instead, do your best to change your attitude. You need to step up and be happy for her. This is a magical time in her life, and I’m sure she wants to share it with you. Be happy for her. And trust that your turn will come.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been a big drinker. In college, I drank here and there, but not often. I don’t like the taste of alcohol, and it usually makes me sick. My doctor says I have a sensitive stomach and to stay away from beer and hard liquor.

I am now out of college and living with some girlfriends in Boston. We love going out to happy hours after work. I can’t help but want to suck it up and order a drink because everyone else is. I don’t want to be that person who orders water while everyone else is sharing a bottle of rose. Do you have any advice as to how I can make these social settings more comfortable? -- Not a Big Drinker, Boston

DEAR NOT A BIG DRINKER: You are one of the lucky ones, even though it may not feel like it right now. That you do not have the desire to drink is a great quality. Yes, you can still hang out with your friends. You can have fun doing so, too. Plenty of bars and restaurants offer colorful non-alcoholic cocktails that look like fun and are tasty -- without the booze. You can also be the designated driver for your friends, which can make you that much more valuable to the group.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had two girlfriends in my life: the girl I am currently seeing and my ex. Last weekend, I went out in New York City with a group of my college buddies. Later in the night, I got a text from another friend saying he was hanging out with my ex. I don’t know why, but it bothered me. I don’t have feelings for my ex-girlfriend or even care what she does. What bothered me was that my friend didn’t give me a heads-up about his plans.

I feel like my friend was trying to hide the fact he was going to be at a party with my ex-girlfriend. Is it irrational that I am upset about this? -- Ex Questioning Feelings, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR EX QUESTIONING FEELINGS: Love is a fickle thing. On one hand, you are long gone from your ex. On the other, you aren’t so keen on having your friends continue to hang out with her. That’s normal -- if not rational. Many friends create boundaries around dating each other’s exes. Perhaps you should at least have that conversation with your friend. Tell him the truth: You know that you have no “rights” over this young lady, but you would hope that he would keep her off-limits romantically. Know that this doesn’t always work and can be impractical at times.

If your friend does decide to continue to spend time with your ex, you must make some decisions. Can you be comfortable in her company when you are with your girlfriend? Can you remain good friends with your buddy who crossed the line? What will your next steps be?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I commute to work every day by train. I take the same train each morning and have gotten into a nice routine. Last week, an old friend started a new job, and she gets on the train at the same station. I like her and would even consider her one of my closest friends, but I can't stand her in the morning. She is one of those people who needs to fill silence, while I enjoy my peaceful train rides. I can’t afford to take a later train, but I do not want to continue riding the train with her. Any advice on what I can do here? -- No Longer a Solo Commuter, Westchester, New York

DEAR NO LONGER A SOLO COMMUTER: You have to draw a line with your friend. Speak up for yourself. Tell your friend that you have a long-established routine that you do not want to break. You like to be quiet in the mornings, and you realize she likes to talk. Tell her that you must reserve your quiet time in the morning, which means that you are sorry, but you are unable to hang out with her on the ride to work. Offer to spend time with her on the way home if you happen to leave at the same time, but put your foot down about reserving time for yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)