DEAR HARRIETTE: My older brother got hit by a bus a couple of months ago, and he is now paralyzed from his waist down. The doctors say there is a possibility that he can regain motion in his legs and possibly walk in time, which is great news. It’s been hard to see him go through this; he has been depressed and negative, which is understandable. He used to be such a positive, happy person, and I want to get him back to that place, regardless of his current situation. How can I make him see that the more positive he is, the more likely he is to heal? -- Helping My Brother, Denver

DEAR HELPING MY BROTHER: As difficult as your brother’s injury is, the blessing remains that he is alive and that he may be able to walk again. This is something you can remind him of, especially when he is feeling down.

It is natural for your brother to feel a range of emotions now. The five stages of grief are often part of the healing process for someone with a spinal cord injury. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is too soon for your brother to have worked through each stage. If you can get him psychological support, that should help guide him through his emotions as he also gets help with strengthening his physical body. To get support, visit christopherreeve.org/get-support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently signed up for a dating app, but I’m embarrassed about it. I’ve always wanted to meet someone spontaneously on the street or at a party -- never through an app. It’s hard for older women to find someone to date. I’m a bit uncomfortable with the whole idea, but my friends who are around my age -- mid-50s -- have been on it and told me I should give it a try. Do you think it’s worth a shot? -- Single Girl of a Certain Age, Seattle

DEAR SINGLE GIRL OF A CERTAIN AGE: Go for it! Many people meet potential dates through apps these days. I get that it seems impersonal, but you can definitely meet someone.

Be clear that you must vet the people with whom you match. Start by asking for referrals for dating apps that your friends have liked. Once you sign up, review the matches suggested to you carefully. Ask questions of any potential suitors to get a better sense of who they are. When you do go on a date, choose a public area where you will feel safe, but one that is quiet enough for you to hear yourselves talk.

Conversely, you can also expand your activity base. Choose to put yourself out there by participating in classes and other activities in your city that interest you and that attract people who share your interests. Many people meet at these occasions as well. I know a 70-year-old woman who just found a fascinating suitor because she decided to stop staying home and go out to explore the world. You can, too!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The 10-year anniversary of my brother's death is coming up, and I want to do something special in his memory. He was 15 when one of his classmates shot up his school. My brother was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I still remember the day like it was yesterday; it was shocking. My mom and dad struggled a lot with his death, and I want to show them that he will always be with us. What is a meaningful thing to do on the anniversary of his death? -- Remembering My Brother, Chicago

DEAR REMEMBERING MY BROTHER: I am so sorry for your loss. Even though your brother left this world 10 years ago, I imagine that the wound still feels fresh. Given the tragic way your brother died, it would be impossible for you to have resolution about his death.

One thing you might consider at the 10-year anniversary is to establish a scholarship in your brother's name. It could be connected to his favorite sports club, his school or a college of his dreams. You can decide, but that is a wonderful way to have an ongoing memory of him that extends beyond the family.

If you want to do something smaller, consider hosting a family dinner where you present a photo album of photos and items that reflect your brother’s life. You can make the album yourself, or you can create it online and have it printed at a place like Walgreens, Costco or Shutterfly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is leaving for the military soon, and I’m not ready to see her go. She has been assigned to Germany for eight months, where she will be studying and receiving training. I’m scared to let my little girl go so far away to a place where she’s never been -- and to the military, of all things, which is known to discriminate against women. How can I keep myself calm during this time in her life? -- Military Bound, Lexington, Kentucky

DEAR MILITARY BOUND: It is natural for you to feel anxious about your daughter going off to start her independent life, which is exacerbated by her choice being the military. The good news is that the military is very disciplined, which should be good for your daughter in terms of developing skills that will support her life. She will grow stronger and more focused.

In terms of discrimination against women, sadly, many governmental and private industry organizations still struggle with prejudiced practices that need to be addressed. The good news is that the military is making an effort to be more equitable in the way that it treats its members. Talk to your daughter about being cautious and aware of her surroundings. Encourage her to step into her training fully so that she can learn everything and have a full, dynamic experience. It is time for you to let her go and for her to start living her life independent of you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to be an artist because it’s one of the things that helps me express myself. My mother says to follow my dream, but my father thinks it’s a hobby that won’t help me financially. I somewhat agree with him, but it is my passion and I don’t want to look back on my life and regret not following through. Is there a way to be an artist as well as have a job? -- Loving the Arts, Minneapolis

DEAR LOVING THE ARTS: Yes, it is possible to be an artist and have a job. The easiest way is to go to college for an arts education. If you get a degree so that you can be a teacher, you can literally make art and teach others how to make it as well. Many fine artists who have created strong careers for themselves are also teachers; it can take a long time to earn enough money to take care of yourself by selling your art.

There are many great art schools in the country. To be accepted, you will need to create a portfolio of your best work that illustrates your talent, creativity and commitment to developing your art. Go for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a party the other night and had a little too much to drink. Some of the people there were asking me about my past, and I told them about the man I was in love with years ago. All I said was that I used to be in love with him; nothing ever happened between us. I have been married for many years and we are doing just fine, but it was obvious that there’s still something there between me and this other guy. I keep those feelings to myself, but my loose lips messed me up this time. I’m afraid that the women I was talking to might bring this up again or even say something to my husband. Should I just let it go? What do I do or say if they bring up my revelation again? -- Big Mouth, Seattle

DEAR BIG MOUTH: Too many people have spilled their secrets after one too many drinks. You have just officially joined the crowd. If you have never done anything except remember your torch from years back and say it out loud, you should be OK. Play out the scenarios in your head. If the women you were talking to told your husband, what would you say? You could start with the truth: You were in love with this guy back in the day, and you remembered it when you were talking with these women about your past.

What you shouldn’t do is bring it up again with the women or anybody else. Instead, bury that torch and focus on the life you have built with your husband. The two of you deserve your full focus and love. If your commitment to your husband is strong, this blunder shouldn’t matter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)