DEAR HARRIETTE: The 10-year anniversary of my brother's death is coming up, and I want to do something special in his memory. He was 15 when one of his classmates shot up his school. My brother was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I still remember the day like it was yesterday; it was shocking. My mom and dad struggled a lot with his death, and I want to show them that he will always be with us. What is a meaningful thing to do on the anniversary of his death? -- Remembering My Brother, Chicago
DEAR REMEMBERING MY BROTHER: I am so sorry for your loss. Even though your brother left this world 10 years ago, I imagine that the wound still feels fresh. Given the tragic way your brother died, it would be impossible for you to have resolution about his death.
One thing you might consider at the 10-year anniversary is to establish a scholarship in your brother's name. It could be connected to his favorite sports club, his school or a college of his dreams. You can decide, but that is a wonderful way to have an ongoing memory of him that extends beyond the family.
If you want to do something smaller, consider hosting a family dinner where you present a photo album of photos and items that reflect your brother’s life. You can make the album yourself, or you can create it online and have it printed at a place like Walgreens, Costco or Shutterfly.