DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 52-year-old woman who has been married to my husband for over 25 years. Together, we have three beautiful and healthy children. While my husband worked, I stayed home and raised our kids. Many nights throughout the week, my husband would come home later than I anticipated. However, I did not put too much thought into it because he is in the medical profession, and I know the hours vary.
Four months ago, while my husband was in the shower, I decided to look through his phone. To this day, I am uncertain as to why I looked, and I’m not sure whether I am happy or sad that I did. While scrolling through his camera roll, I found several provocative images of women he works with. I have not confronted my husband about the photos yet. I don’t want to complicate things for our family, but I can’t keep it bottled up inside any longer. Do you think I should confront him about the photos? -- Desperate Housewife, Towson, Maryland
DEAR DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE: In a word -- yes. You cannot unsee the photos. You must have looked because you were suspicious of your husband’s behavior. Pick a time when you and he are awake, sober and alone. Tell him you need to talk to him. Start by asking him if he is happy in your marriage. If he asks you why, explain that you saw provocative photos in his phone several months ago, and you have been stewing over it ever since. You can apologize for looking at his phone, but tell him that something made you wonder if you should be concerned, so you looked. Ask him if he is having an affair. Ask him if he wants to stay married. If he does, encourage him to tell you what’s going on and what he is willing to do to make things right.