DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been seeing this guy for 10 months now. We get along great, and I have completely fallen in love with him. I think he feels the same way about me, but we have yet to say the words “I love you” to each other.

He does not refer to me as his girlfriend, and I do not refer to him as my boyfriend. My friends and family think this is very abnormal because of how long we’ve been an item. What is your take on my situation? Is this a huge red flag? -- No-Status Relationship, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NO-STATUS RELATIONSHIP: Because you both are behaving the same way, this is not as odd as your loved ones think. Many young people address their relationships more casually than observers consider ideal. Determine how you feel about this man and what you want from the relationship. Do you love him? If you do, why not tell him?! He may be afraid to express his love for you openly. If you truly love him, it’s OK to be honest -- even if he doesn’t say it back to you. The fact will have been spoken.

Labeling your relationship is less important than how you treat each other. If you feel loved and respected consistently, that’s the key to a healthy relationship. Because people always want to know, you may decide to talk about it with him. “What should we call each other?” could be the question that launches a rich conversation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sat for a family last night for the first time. A couple of weeks ago, I met the parents to discuss my hourly salary and the kids' schedule. Everything went well, and I enjoyed baby-sitting. My employers paid me in cash.

This morning, when I checked the amount, I realized they underpaid me for the amount of time I was there. I’m a little confused, because we went over my rate prior to last night. How do I bring up the uncomfortable topic of money to people I just met? -- Underpaid Worker, Southampton, New York

DEAR UNDERPAID WORKER: I’m sure you already know that the biggest mistake you made was to leave without counting your money first. This was a business transaction, and it’s normal that you would check your fee before walking out the door. Since you didn’t do that, the situation is more awkward than necessary.

The best approach now is an innocent -- but direct -- one. Contact the family immediately, and tell them that when you got home and counted the money, you realized that they had not paid you the full amount that you had agreed upon. Say that perhaps they miscounted. Then remind them of the hourly rate that you agreed upon and how many hours you worked. Apologize for not counting the money when they gave it to you. Hopefully they will apologize and give you the balance right away. If not, you will have to decide if you want to work for them again. If you do, be crystal clear about the fee before you begin.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am getting married in three months in Napa Valley, California, at a beautiful vineyard. As I was going over the guest list with my mother, she told me that she won't attend if my father goes. My parents got divorced because my father came out the closet and ended up leaving her for another man.

My mother has never forgiven my father for leaving her, but I was hoping she would drop the bad blood for my wedding. She will not budge. I’ve expressed how much it would mean to me to have her there on my special day because she’s always been there for me, but she's having a hard time putting her pride aside. I want both my parents there, but I'm not sure how I can change my mother's mind. -- Mama's Boy, Detroit

DEAR MAMA’S BOY: Weddings can be hard for families. When parents are divorced, it can get prickly. In your situation, the prickles are pretty sharp! Still, this wedding needs to be about you and your partner. Your job is to talk to both of your parents and encourage them to be there to support the beginning of your journey into married life. Explain how important family is to you, even though your parents are no longer attached to each other. Appeal to your mother directly: Tell her how sad you will be not to have her at your side. Remind her how much you love her -- and your father. If your father is not married, ask him to come solo so as not to rub his relationship in your mother’s face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am upset that my mom is making me move from Los Angeles to Arizona. I don’t want to leave LA, but my parents just finalized their divorce. I can't stay with my father because he is always going on business trips, and they both agree that me being alone all the time would not be in my best interest. They feel that it's best that I live with my mom, but my whole life is here, and starting at a new school going into my junior year of high school is going to be the worst.

Being away from my dad is going to be hard because he already doesn’t spend that much time with me due to his business travel. If I move with my mom, I feel like I’ll never get to see him. It seems like I’m irrelevant to him, and I wish I could talk to him about how I feel, but I'm not sure how to approach him. -- Hesitant to Move, Los Angeles

DEAR HESITANT TO MOVE: Now is the time to speak up. Request a face-to-face meeting with him. Let him know how much you wish you could spend more time with him and your concerns about becoming more distant if you move with your mother. One solution might be to ask him if he can commit to FaceTime with you every week -- starting now -- and a certain number of visits per year. You have to be the one with the plan, as it’s possible that the reason for the divorce is that he was never around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 18 years old, and I am currently one month pregnant. The only people who know are my friends, my boyfriend and his parents. I have been keeping it a secret from my family. My parents are from Kenya and are very traditional people, which is why I can’t get myself to tell them about my pregnancy. My family doesn’t believe in abortion, but I’m not opposed to it -- I am so young and have my future to think about.

My boyfriend and his family said they are fully on my side, no matter what I decide, but they think I should inform my parents. I’m scared to disappoint my family because I know they wanted more for me, but they will not support my decision to have an abortion if that’s what I want. I'm unsure of what to do now. Should I tell them, or should I take care of this on my own? -- Confused, Dallas

DEAR CONFUSED: First, you need to make up your mind about what you want to do. I realize how difficult this decision is for many people, including you. I believe in the right for women to choose. That said, I also believe that life is sacred. A pregnancy should be taken seriously and contemplated fully before you make any decision. You need to be clear in your head and heart about what you want and what you can manage.

Out of respect for your parents, it would be thoughtful to tell them; however, if you believe you are going to have an abortion and you think it would crush them, it may be kinder to keep it to yourself. In this case, you should assess whether your boyfriend’s parents will be willing to not get involved and keep it a secret. I know how tough this moment is for you. Be reflective and consider your life. Talk to your boyfriend and play out different scenarios. Pray on it, too. Then decide. You don’t have much time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has criticized everything I’ve done since I turned 13. Now I’m 35 years old, and she still tries to tell me what to do. She tells me that my life’s a mess and that I should lose weight. She also tells me how to raise my children. I’m a grown woman, and she makes me feel like a child. Whenever I think I’m doing something good, my mother makes me feel the complete opposite. I value her opinion a lot, but it’s getting to be too much. How do I change her before I completely push her out of my life? -- At an Impasse, Denver

DEAR AT AN IMPASSE: Take a step back and evaluate your life. Think about the things your mother has said to you and, to the best of your ability, consider each one. Do you need to lose weight? Are her points about your child-rearing relevant? If she is giving you good advice but you don’t like the way she is delivering the message, tell her as much. Explain that it’s hard for you to take her suggestions when it feels like she’s criticizing you all the time. Tell her you respect her opinion, but you need to stand on your own two feet -- with her support, but not her judgment.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)