DEAR HARRIETTE: I am not currently in a relationship, but I was wondering about them. My best friend and her boyfriend are currently “on a break.” When I asked her what that meant, she summed it up as she and her boyfriend are allowed to see other people, but they are still in communication. As soon as I heard this, I was confused. Why would you want to continue talking to your partner, yet see other people? Doesn’t that mean your feelings for that person aren’t there or strong anymore, so you want to see other people? I don't understand this relationship status, and I wanted to hear what your perspective on this is. -- They Are on a Break, New Orleans

DEAR THEY ARE ON A BREAK: You should be confused. This type of "taking a break" usually leads to the end of a relationship. At the very least, it typically leads to hurt feelings and lack of intimacy. While your friend may feel that this is what she needs or wants to do, I do not recommend it. It’s best to create a clean break when you decide to end a relationship, or work together through your problems to see if you have a future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Mia’s" dad called me today telling me she dropped out of school and that he believes she is anorexic. He shared that he was worried about her because in the past few weeks she hasn’t been eating and has lost a lot of weight. He asked if I could watch her and make sure she’s OK, and I agreed.

Mia and I hung out at the park, and I could see how thin she looked and how depressed she’s been. I tried to make her happy by talking about our good times and constantly complimenting her. I’m not exactly sure how I can help her realize that there is nothing wrong with her. She’s beautiful just the way she is. How do I deal with this new responsibility her father has given me? -- Helping a Friend, Syracuse, New York

DEAR HELPING A FRIEND: You cannot accept the responsibility of ensuring that your friend is OK. If Mia is depressed or has anorexia, these are medical conditions that require specialized care. It is not possible for you to keep her safe. You can, however, stay close to her and let her know that she has a friend. What you need to know is that Mia does have something wrong with her if she is not eating and seeming depressed. That is not normal. Don’t tell her it is. Instead, tell her the truth: You are worried about her, that it looks like she hasn’t been eating and that she seems sad. Ask her if she wants to talk about what’s going on.

Just be clear within yourself that you cannot heal her. You can listen. You can also let her father know what you learn. But also tell him that you can only be her friend. You cannot take care of her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered my dad is cheating on my mom. He’s a middle school math teacher at my old school, and my mom is a stay-at-home mom. I was driving down a street I usually take to work, which is a couple of miles from my house, and I stopped at a red light. As I turned my head, I saw my dad in the car with another middle school teacher.

I thought maybe they were running an errand together, so I called my dad. He answered, and I said, “Hey, Dad, where are you right now?” He said, “I’m still at school working late.” I yelled from my car and he looked at me, shocked, and I drove off crying because I knew what it meant.

I have to tell my mom; it’s not fair to her, but I don’t want to be the reason they break things off. How do I ever look at my dad the same? How do I comfort my mom during this time? -- Sad Daughter, Miami

DEAR SAD DAUGHTER: I’m so sorry you had to see this. Before talking to your mother, you should have a talk with your father. Tell him how upset you are that he lied to you. Explain that it looks like he is cheating on your mom with that other teacher, and you are devastated. Ask him if he plans on leaving your family. Put him on the spot, and ask him how he intends to handle the situation.

Then, tell him that you are going to tell your mother. Tell him you hope he will be able to figure out how to save your family, because you love him and your mom very much, but you have to tell her what you saw.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an alcohol problem. I have for a while. I drink when I wake up and throughout the day. If I don’t, I feel terrible. It’s the only way I can get myself to function. A lot of the time, I wake up forgetting what I did the day before, but my daughter doesn’t hesitate to remind me. I can see the disappointment in her eyes when she looks at me, and it hurts me to see how much she hates me. Ever since her father left, I’ve been a mess. I started going out more and kept showing up late to work, and eventually I lost my job. My daughter takes care of me and all the money issues; things aren’t supposed to be that way. I should be taking care of her.

I decided I want to go to rehab, but my relationship with my daughter is what I’m worried about. Do you think I can make things right with her once I’m sober? Do you think she’ll forgive me for everything I’ve put her through? -- Bad Drunk, Seattle

DEAR BAD DRUNK: You have taken the first step and admitted your problem. Now you must get help. You need to find a detox facility that will help you to get sober, or go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Do this immediately. You won’t have a chance at your daughter’s forgiveness until you are deserving of it. Get clean first. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 23-year-old man, and I have met someone who makes me so happy in a way that I’ve never felt before. This person is a he, and it’s my first time being in a relationship with a man.

I’ve always been attracted to men, but I kept my distance because my family would never approve, so I forced myself into relationships with women. I’ve never felt complete nor honest with who I am. I want this relationship to go further, but I know this means coming out to my parents and the chance that they’ll cut me out of their lives. I’m scared to lose my family for being who I am. How should I come out to them? -- Coming Out, Detroit

DEAR COMING OUT: Stepping into the fullness of who you are, especially when that means going against your parents’ values, is hard. Even in 2018, it can be difficult to claim your sexual identity and be accepted by your family and community. That does not mean that you should pretend that you are someone you are not. Instead, you should figure out your life and protect yourself in the process. That includes not sharing every detail of your intimate life with your parents right away.

Be responsible as you explore your sexuality. Be honest. Have the courage to express your feelings to the man you like, and see what happens. When you are ready to talk about your life, go to your parents and tell them your story. Ask for their unconditional love even if they are uncomfortable with your path. Tell them you are not living as a gay man to hurt them, but instead to fulfill your life’s journey. It may take them time to adjust. It is even possible that they may never accept that part of you, but you have to live your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends, "Sherri," just got in a relationship with this guy from her job. They’ve been dating for about two months, and she recently brought him to meet us. Her boyfriend added me on social media and has been messaging me a lot and commenting on my page, which is strange. I thought at first he was being nice, but now he’s getting too friendly. The other day he asked me to hang out, and I said I wouldn’t hang out with him without Sherri there. I’m not sure if I should tell Sherri; she’s happy with him, but I don’t want to keep this from her, either. What do you think I should do? -- In a Fix, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR IN A FIX: You should tell Sherri about this immediately, but don’t be an alarmist. Just meet up with your friend and tell her that her boyfriend has been reaching out to you on social media and recently asked you to hang out with him. Tell her you didn’t think that was a great idea -- without her, anyway -- and that you let him know. Don’t belabor the point. She may decide to stay in a relationship with him. At least you have let her know where you stand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)