DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered my dad is cheating on my mom. He’s a middle school math teacher at my old school, and my mom is a stay-at-home mom. I was driving down a street I usually take to work, which is a couple of miles from my house, and I stopped at a red light. As I turned my head, I saw my dad in the car with another middle school teacher.

I thought maybe they were running an errand together, so I called my dad. He answered, and I said, “Hey, Dad, where are you right now?” He said, “I’m still at school working late.” I yelled from my car and he looked at me, shocked, and I drove off crying because I knew what it meant.

I have to tell my mom; it’s not fair to her, but I don’t want to be the reason they break things off. How do I ever look at my dad the same? How do I comfort my mom during this time? -- Sad Daughter, Miami

DEAR SAD DAUGHTER: I’m so sorry you had to see this. Before talking to your mother, you should have a talk with your father. Tell him how upset you are that he lied to you. Explain that it looks like he is cheating on your mom with that other teacher, and you are devastated. Ask him if he plans on leaving your family. Put him on the spot, and ask him how he intends to handle the situation.

Then, tell him that you are going to tell your mother. Tell him you hope he will be able to figure out how to save your family, because you love him and your mom very much, but you have to tell her what you saw.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an alcohol problem. I have for a while. I drink when I wake up and throughout the day. If I don’t, I feel terrible. It’s the only way I can get myself to function. A lot of the time, I wake up forgetting what I did the day before, but my daughter doesn’t hesitate to remind me. I can see the disappointment in her eyes when she looks at me, and it hurts me to see how much she hates me. Ever since her father left, I’ve been a mess. I started going out more and kept showing up late to work, and eventually I lost my job. My daughter takes care of me and all the money issues; things aren’t supposed to be that way. I should be taking care of her.

I decided I want to go to rehab, but my relationship with my daughter is what I’m worried about. Do you think I can make things right with her once I’m sober? Do you think she’ll forgive me for everything I’ve put her through? -- Bad Drunk, Seattle

DEAR BAD DRUNK: You have taken the first step and admitted your problem. Now you must get help. You need to find a detox facility that will help you to get sober, or go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Do this immediately. You won’t have a chance at your daughter’s forgiveness until you are deserving of it. Get clean first. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 23-year-old man, and I have met someone who makes me so happy in a way that I’ve never felt before. This person is a he, and it’s my first time being in a relationship with a man.

I’ve always been attracted to men, but I kept my distance because my family would never approve, so I forced myself into relationships with women. I’ve never felt complete nor honest with who I am. I want this relationship to go further, but I know this means coming out to my parents and the chance that they’ll cut me out of their lives. I’m scared to lose my family for being who I am. How should I come out to them? -- Coming Out, Detroit

DEAR COMING OUT: Stepping into the fullness of who you are, especially when that means going against your parents’ values, is hard. Even in 2018, it can be difficult to claim your sexual identity and be accepted by your family and community. That does not mean that you should pretend that you are someone you are not. Instead, you should figure out your life and protect yourself in the process. That includes not sharing every detail of your intimate life with your parents right away.

Be responsible as you explore your sexuality. Be honest. Have the courage to express your feelings to the man you like, and see what happens. When you are ready to talk about your life, go to your parents and tell them your story. Ask for their unconditional love even if they are uncomfortable with your path. Tell them you are not living as a gay man to hurt them, but instead to fulfill your life’s journey. It may take them time to adjust. It is even possible that they may never accept that part of you, but you have to live your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends, "Sherri," just got in a relationship with this guy from her job. They’ve been dating for about two months, and she recently brought him to meet us. Her boyfriend added me on social media and has been messaging me a lot and commenting on my page, which is strange. I thought at first he was being nice, but now he’s getting too friendly. The other day he asked me to hang out, and I said I wouldn’t hang out with him without Sherri there. I’m not sure if I should tell Sherri; she’s happy with him, but I don’t want to keep this from her, either. What do you think I should do? -- In a Fix, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR IN A FIX: You should tell Sherri about this immediately, but don’t be an alarmist. Just meet up with your friend and tell her that her boyfriend has been reaching out to you on social media and recently asked you to hang out with him. Tell her you didn’t think that was a great idea -- without her, anyway -- and that you let him know. Don’t belabor the point. She may decide to stay in a relationship with him. At least you have let her know where you stand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been insecure about my lips, so I’ve been thinking about getting lip injections. All my friends have nice, full lips -- so does my mom! -- but unfortunately, I don’t. My lips are so thin that you can hardly see them. When I’m out, I always hide my lips or look down because I’m embarrassed by how I look. I want to feel beautiful and be confident.

My mother thinks I look beautiful as I am and doesn’t support my decision, but I’m 18, and I can make this decision on my own. Do you think if it makes me feel more confident I should get the lip injections? -- Not Beautiful, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NOT BEAUTIFUL: You are not going to like my answer. Honestly, I think that rarely does getting something like lip injections or plastic surgery transform a person’s self-image. This is because the root cause is typically much deeper than physical appearance. We all have positive attributes as well as some that we don’t love. Being able to embrace our fullness -- including our less desirable aspects -- is a part of life.

That said, of all the things you might consider doing to change your physical appearance, getting lip injections is one of the least invasive. Check with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to do this. If you go ahead with it, find a health professional who is qualified to offer this procedure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of four siblings, and the eldest son. My father and I do not get along at all. He puts an immense amount of pressure on me to do well in every aspect of my life. Now, I understand that parents need to put pressure on their children for them to succeed, but the extremely high standards my father has for me are driving me crazy. For example, I grow facial hair quickly. I hate shaving and enjoy having a beard. Every time I see my father, we get into a massive argument about my beard and how it is unprofessional to have a beard. This is just one example of how petty our arguments are and how our entire relationship is based on pressure and fighting. Do you have any advice on how I can create a better relationship with my dad? -- Constantly Arguing, Ithaca, New York

DEAR CONSTANTLY ARGUING: Do your best to consider your father’s perspective. When he was growing up, a clean-shaven man was a successful man. Honestly, that is still commonly true, though, thanks to Prince Harry, who got married wearing a full beard, it’s clear that times are changing!

Your job is to listen and learn from your father as you also pave your own way. If you have identified a field of work that allows you to wear a beard, let your father know that. Similarly, consider each of your father’s recommendations seriously. Do your best not to judge his suggestions. Think about how you might incorporate what he has said into your own plan. When it works, be sure to tell him. When it doesn’t, stay your course. Do know that what your father is attempting to do is to keep you safe and capable of building a successful life for yourself. Some of his advice is worth considering; don’t make the mistake of dismissing what he has to say.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)