DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 23-year-old man, and I have met someone who makes me so happy in a way that I’ve never felt before. This person is a he, and it’s my first time being in a relationship with a man.

I’ve always been attracted to men, but I kept my distance because my family would never approve, so I forced myself into relationships with women. I’ve never felt complete nor honest with who I am. I want this relationship to go further, but I know this means coming out to my parents and the chance that they’ll cut me out of their lives. I’m scared to lose my family for being who I am. How should I come out to them? -- Coming Out, Detroit

DEAR COMING OUT: Stepping into the fullness of who you are, especially when that means going against your parents’ values, is hard. Even in 2018, it can be difficult to claim your sexual identity and be accepted by your family and community. That does not mean that you should pretend that you are someone you are not. Instead, you should figure out your life and protect yourself in the process. That includes not sharing every detail of your intimate life with your parents right away.

Be responsible as you explore your sexuality. Be honest. Have the courage to express your feelings to the man you like, and see what happens. When you are ready to talk about your life, go to your parents and tell them your story. Ask for their unconditional love even if they are uncomfortable with your path. Tell them you are not living as a gay man to hurt them, but instead to fulfill your life’s journey. It may take them time to adjust. It is even possible that they may never accept that part of you, but you have to live your own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends, "Sherri," just got in a relationship with this guy from her job. They’ve been dating for about two months, and she recently brought him to meet us. Her boyfriend added me on social media and has been messaging me a lot and commenting on my page, which is strange. I thought at first he was being nice, but now he’s getting too friendly. The other day he asked me to hang out, and I said I wouldn’t hang out with him without Sherri there. I’m not sure if I should tell Sherri; she’s happy with him, but I don’t want to keep this from her, either. What do you think I should do? -- In a Fix, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR IN A FIX: You should tell Sherri about this immediately, but don’t be an alarmist. Just meet up with your friend and tell her that her boyfriend has been reaching out to you on social media and recently asked you to hang out with him. Tell her you didn’t think that was a great idea -- without her, anyway -- and that you let him know. Don’t belabor the point. She may decide to stay in a relationship with him. At least you have let her know where you stand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been insecure about my lips, so I’ve been thinking about getting lip injections. All my friends have nice, full lips -- so does my mom! -- but unfortunately, I don’t. My lips are so thin that you can hardly see them. When I’m out, I always hide my lips or look down because I’m embarrassed by how I look. I want to feel beautiful and be confident.

My mother thinks I look beautiful as I am and doesn’t support my decision, but I’m 18, and I can make this decision on my own. Do you think if it makes me feel more confident I should get the lip injections? -- Not Beautiful, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NOT BEAUTIFUL: You are not going to like my answer. Honestly, I think that rarely does getting something like lip injections or plastic surgery transform a person’s self-image. This is because the root cause is typically much deeper than physical appearance. We all have positive attributes as well as some that we don’t love. Being able to embrace our fullness -- including our less desirable aspects -- is a part of life.

That said, of all the things you might consider doing to change your physical appearance, getting lip injections is one of the least invasive. Check with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to do this. If you go ahead with it, find a health professional who is qualified to offer this procedure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of four siblings, and the eldest son. My father and I do not get along at all. He puts an immense amount of pressure on me to do well in every aspect of my life. Now, I understand that parents need to put pressure on their children for them to succeed, but the extremely high standards my father has for me are driving me crazy. For example, I grow facial hair quickly. I hate shaving and enjoy having a beard. Every time I see my father, we get into a massive argument about my beard and how it is unprofessional to have a beard. This is just one example of how petty our arguments are and how our entire relationship is based on pressure and fighting. Do you have any advice on how I can create a better relationship with my dad? -- Constantly Arguing, Ithaca, New York

DEAR CONSTANTLY ARGUING: Do your best to consider your father’s perspective. When he was growing up, a clean-shaven man was a successful man. Honestly, that is still commonly true, though, thanks to Prince Harry, who got married wearing a full beard, it’s clear that times are changing!

Your job is to listen and learn from your father as you also pave your own way. If you have identified a field of work that allows you to wear a beard, let your father know that. Similarly, consider each of your father’s recommendations seriously. Do your best not to judge his suggestions. Think about how you might incorporate what he has said into your own plan. When it works, be sure to tell him. When it doesn’t, stay your course. Do know that what your father is attempting to do is to keep you safe and capable of building a successful life for yourself. Some of his advice is worth considering; don’t make the mistake of dismissing what he has to say.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My semester ends in a week, and I’m dreading going back home. I live with my mom, little brother and older sister, and we all have a tough relationship with our mother. She was born and raised in Guinea and moved here after my sister was born. She has always shown us tough love, and it was hard growing up. It’s challenging for her to provide for us all the time, and there isn’t always food at home, which leaves us hungry all day. At school, having a scholarship and meal plan helps a lot, and my friends always make sure I eat if I ever run out of money. I want to find a job, but my mother doesn’t allow it because she thinks I’m too young. How do I make her see it’s necessary for me to work? -- Difficult to Adjust, Phoenix

DEAR DIFFICULT TO ADJUST: Sit down with your mother and thank her for working so hard to make it possible for you to go to college and build a life for yourself. Point out that you know how difficult it is for her to make ends meet. Tell her that you respect her and the family, and to that end, it’s time for you to help out. You know she is worried about your age, but tell her that many young people work in this country, from as early as 14 years old. My guess is that young people probably work from an even earlier age in her country, out of necessity. Ask her to give you a chance to help the family.

You might look for a work-study option. It’s late, but you may be able to find something.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has been firing people because it isn’t doing all that well and cannot pay workers. I started to look for other jobs, but many places aren’t hiring. I’m worried that I will be fired next and won’t have a backup job.

I have been putting in extra hours and I’m one of the best workers here, but I have a child on the way and this would be the worst time possible to lose my job. Should I set up a meeting with my boss letting him know that I need this job because of my current situation with my family? -- Worried Sick, Minneapolis

DEAR WORRIED SICK: It is smart for you to talk to your boss, but what you should emphasize is that you are a team player, dedicated to the company and willing to help in as many ways as you can through this tough period. Point out that you know there have been some layoffs, and you are sensitive to the challenges the company is facing. Make it clear that you want to go the distance with them. Ask how you can be of service. Within that context, you can remind your boss that you will soon have a child. Even so, you are all in regarding being a team player. Don’t stop looking, though. Keep your options open.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)