DEAR HARRIETTE: My semester ends in a week, and I’m dreading going back home. I live with my mom, little brother and older sister, and we all have a tough relationship with our mother. She was born and raised in Guinea and moved here after my sister was born. She has always shown us tough love, and it was hard growing up. It’s challenging for her to provide for us all the time, and there isn’t always food at home, which leaves us hungry all day. At school, having a scholarship and meal plan helps a lot, and my friends always make sure I eat if I ever run out of money. I want to find a job, but my mother doesn’t allow it because she thinks I’m too young. How do I make her see it’s necessary for me to work? -- Difficult to Adjust, Phoenix

DEAR DIFFICULT TO ADJUST: Sit down with your mother and thank her for working so hard to make it possible for you to go to college and build a life for yourself. Point out that you know how difficult it is for her to make ends meet. Tell her that you respect her and the family, and to that end, it’s time for you to help out. You know she is worried about your age, but tell her that many young people work in this country, from as early as 14 years old. My guess is that young people probably work from an even earlier age in her country, out of necessity. Ask her to give you a chance to help the family.

You might look for a work-study option. It’s late, but you may be able to find something.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has been firing people because it isn’t doing all that well and cannot pay workers. I started to look for other jobs, but many places aren’t hiring. I’m worried that I will be fired next and won’t have a backup job.

I have been putting in extra hours and I’m one of the best workers here, but I have a child on the way and this would be the worst time possible to lose my job. Should I set up a meeting with my boss letting him know that I need this job because of my current situation with my family? -- Worried Sick, Minneapolis

DEAR WORRIED SICK: It is smart for you to talk to your boss, but what you should emphasize is that you are a team player, dedicated to the company and willing to help in as many ways as you can through this tough period. Point out that you know there have been some layoffs, and you are sensitive to the challenges the company is facing. Make it clear that you want to go the distance with them. Ask how you can be of service. Within that context, you can remind your boss that you will soon have a child. Even so, you are all in regarding being a team player. Don’t stop looking, though. Keep your options open.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 16 years old. She is in her second year of high school and is a very sweet, compassionate, caring girl. She is currently dating a senior boy who is 18.

I am afraid my daughter is in an unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend. I do not believe he physically abuses her, but I feel like he emotionally bullies her into doing whatever he wants. I don’t like his personality at all, let alone their age difference.

I want to help my daughter, but I don’t know where to begin at all. Coming from her father, I want to be there for her and protect her from getting hurt, but I also don’t want to seem overprotective. Do you have any advice for a father trying to talk to his daughter about a sensitive topic? -- Scared Father, Bronxville, New York

DEAR SCARED FATHER: You should tread lightly here, because people who feel they are in love don’t listen well. Plus, unfortunately, daughters often seem immune to their fathers’ advice at the very moment when they need it the most.

One way you may get her to hear you is to tell her stories -- true stories -- about your life in the dating world and any missteps that you or your friends may have experienced. Give her examples of controlling men and how they can mess up women’s emotional well-being. Tell her you are concerned about the way that her boyfriend is treating her and that you would be a bad dad if you didn’t mention it. Assure her that you will support her no matter what, but encourage her to balance her time with other friends.

Stay aware of her behavior and her free time, to the best of your ability. If she is willing to talk to you, be a good listener and do not judge. She may have to get her heart broken before she learns her lesson. Remain close so that you can help soften the blow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved into a new apartment. The space was originally a two-bedroom apartment, but my roommates and I converted the living room into another “bedroom,” so the space now sleeps three. Although I knew this decision would mean living space would be tight, my roommate who lives in the living room is taking up too much space. Not only is her bed in the middle of the room, but she is extremely messy, so her things are strewn all over the apartment! I don’t want to criticize her way of living, but at the same time I need to tell her to clean up her things. Do you know how I can talk to her without offending her? -- Messy Roommate Problems, Akron, Ohio

DEAR MESSY ROOMMATE PROBLEMS: Request a household meeting -- something that would be good to do on a weekly basis anyway. Remind your roommates that you are living in a tight space and that it’s important for everyone to work hard to maintain some order. Suggest a task you will do, and ask each roommate to pitch in. To the messy one, remind her that she lives in a common space, and you all need her to be tidier.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son and his friends from college have all signed up for a trip to Israel after the school year ends, called Birthright Israel. With all of the protests and violence occurring on the Palestinian border, I am scared to let my son go on the trip. Although the program that he is going through has assured the parents that the trip is extremely safe and they will be taking extra precautions, I would rather my son and his friends postpone the trip. How can I bring this up to him and convince him to change the time of the trip? Do you think this is the right thing to do, or am I being irrational? -- Questioning Son's Trip, Queens, New York

DEAR QUESTIONING SON’S TRIP: I’m with you. While I know that many young people take this trip to Israel upon completion of college as a rite of passage, I also know that the violence in the area has escalated in recent days and weeks, and the region is far from stable. I’m sure that the organizers will do all in their power to protect the young people who go, but I would be skeptical as to whether that is enough.

I spoke to a neighbor friend who is from Israel, and she assured me that it is possible to go there and be safe. She encourages people to make the trip anyway. That said, I don’t think I would let my child go there this summer.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a bit of a complicated friendship. I have a friend, Justin, who has deep feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same about him. We hook up every once in a while, but there are other guys I hook up with, too.

I recently found out that I have syphilis; a few weeks ago I checked my thigh and saw there was this big ball shape and it hurt every time I walked, so I went to the doctor. After my appointment, I called everyone I was sexually active with and told them to get tested. Most reacted OK. Justin shut down and told me he was upset with me because he felt as if I accused him of giving me syphilis. Now he doesn’t want to be friends with me because he thinks I accused him. How do I get through to him that I was just telling him in case I gave it to him? I wasn’t accusing him of anything. -- Paranoid Friend, San Francisco

DEAR PARANOID FRIEND: I have to start by scolding you a bit. If you are going to "hook up" with multiple partners, is it imperative that you practice safe sex. Unprotected sex can lead to so many health problems. You are being reckless.

I will commend you for going to the doctor AND telling all of your sexual partners about your diagnosis. That couldn’t have been easy to do. With Justin, you can tell him once more that you accused him of nothing. Instead, you were informing him so he could get tested. After that, leave him be. He is likely also upset because your feelings do not match his. You may be better off letting him go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)