DEAR HARRIETTE: My son and his friends from college have all signed up for a trip to Israel after the school year ends, called Birthright Israel. With all of the protests and violence occurring on the Palestinian border, I am scared to let my son go on the trip. Although the program that he is going through has assured the parents that the trip is extremely safe and they will be taking extra precautions, I would rather my son and his friends postpone the trip. How can I bring this up to him and convince him to change the time of the trip? Do you think this is the right thing to do, or am I being irrational? -- Questioning Son's Trip, Queens, New York

DEAR QUESTIONING SON’S TRIP: I’m with you. While I know that many young people take this trip to Israel upon completion of college as a rite of passage, I also know that the violence in the area has escalated in recent days and weeks, and the region is far from stable. I’m sure that the organizers will do all in their power to protect the young people who go, but I would be skeptical as to whether that is enough.

I spoke to a neighbor friend who is from Israel, and she assured me that it is possible to go there and be safe. She encourages people to make the trip anyway. That said, I don’t think I would let my child go there this summer.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a bit of a complicated friendship. I have a friend, Justin, who has deep feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same about him. We hook up every once in a while, but there are other guys I hook up with, too.

I recently found out that I have syphilis; a few weeks ago I checked my thigh and saw there was this big ball shape and it hurt every time I walked, so I went to the doctor. After my appointment, I called everyone I was sexually active with and told them to get tested. Most reacted OK. Justin shut down and told me he was upset with me because he felt as if I accused him of giving me syphilis. Now he doesn’t want to be friends with me because he thinks I accused him. How do I get through to him that I was just telling him in case I gave it to him? I wasn’t accusing him of anything. -- Paranoid Friend, San Francisco

DEAR PARANOID FRIEND: I have to start by scolding you a bit. If you are going to "hook up" with multiple partners, is it imperative that you practice safe sex. Unprotected sex can lead to so many health problems. You are being reckless.

I will commend you for going to the doctor AND telling all of your sexual partners about your diagnosis. That couldn’t have been easy to do. With Justin, you can tell him once more that you accused him of nothing. Instead, you were informing him so he could get tested. After that, leave him be. He is likely also upset because your feelings do not match his. You may be better off letting him go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My acquaintance "Mark" recently committed suicide. I wasn’t that close with him, but we were both on sports teams -- I’m a lacrosse player, and he was on the baseball team. He was dating one of my teammates, but they broke up three months ago after being together for two years. He was one of those guys who was always smiling and had so many friends. He was the life of the party and a pretty good baseball player.

He wasn’t the best boyfriend to my teammate because he wasn’t loyal, but he did make her happy. I’m pretty upset about the whole situation because he was always kind to me, and I can’t imagine how she must be feeling. How can I be there for her without being overbearing? -- Lending a Hand, Bridgeport, Connecticut

DEAR LENDING A HAND: I am so sorry for your loss. Whenever a young person chooses to end his or her life, it is a tragedy that’s almost impossible to bear. I trust that you will take advantage of whatever mental health support your school offers, because this will be hard for everyone.

Reach out to your teammate. Tell her how sorry you are about Mark's passing. Ask how she’s doing and if you can be of help to her in any way. Sometimes people need to talk. Other times they need to be quiet. Check in with her regularly at first to see if she needs or wants anything. Don’t push, just let her know you are there for her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am stressed out. I am failing two of my classes, and the semester ends in a month. I have been working with my professors to get my grades up, but I can’t figure out how to master my assignments for this class. I don’t want to disappoint my family because they have sacrificed so much for me, but I’m not sure if health science is the major for me.

My mother has always wanted me to be a doctor, but I struggle in my courses. How do I tell my family that I want to change my major because it doesn’t interest me, and I am not doing well? I just want to make them proud, but I feel like I will crush their dreams for me. -- Broken Dream, Sausalito, California

DEAR BROKEN DREAM: As tough as it seems now to tell your parents what’s going on, you must. This starts with a reality check. If you do not want to be a doctor, face that fact and tell your parents. Point out that you have worked hard to fulfill their dream for you. Not only is this not what you want for your life, but you aren’t good at the work required to get there.

Think about what you want to do with your life. Talk to an adviser to get input on how to change your major to a subject more fitting for your personality and interests. While your parents may initially be disappointed, they will rally behind you if you prove to them that you can survive and thrive in school as you prepare to become independent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and things have been great. We don’t argue much, but when we do, it has to do with me wanting to go out with my girls. I’m a college student and want to have a good time, but he doesn’t trust me enough to go out. He agree that I have never done anything to cause him not to trust me, but his argument is that he doesn’t trust the other men in the environment. I’ve asked him to come out with me, but he would rather stay in the dorms. I end up giving in and staying in with him, but it’s unfair.

I’m not sure what to do because it seems like this will be an issue for the rest of our lives if we stay together. Should I break up with him, or should I accept that I’m not allowed to go out? -- Concerned Girlfriend, Philadelphia

DEAR CONCERNED GIRLFRIEND: Notice the language that you used. You speak of what your boyfriend "allows" you to do. That makes me concerned, because you should not be controlled by anyone, including your boyfriend. Of course, you want to please him -- as he should also want to please you. You also need to figure out how you are compatible and the ways in which you are not.

If you and your friends make safe choices when you go out, you will be as protected as anyone can be as you go about your life. Assure your boyfriend of the precautions that you will follow. That should include limited alcohol consumption, traveling in groups and not being the last to leave.

I do not recommend that you retreat from going out at all. You will end up resenting him for forcing you to make that choice. That is not the way to begin a life together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 38-year-old mother who lives in Connecticut with my 14-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. I’m divorced from a musician, and I work as a bartender. The neighborhood I am in is not the best, and my son has been getting into trouble at school. I have decided to move back to Ohio with my parents because all of my siblings still live there, and I think my kids will have better opportunities there and finally have some stability.

I’m taking my kids away from their home and friends, but we’re struggling out here. Do you think I’m making the right decision for my family? How can I help them with this transition? -- Single Mother, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR SINGLE MOTHER: Moving your family to a location that you can afford and that has built-in family support is smart. Naturally, your children won’t love the idea -- not at first, anyway. They are teenagers, so friends are extremely important at their age. They also are pliable. Explain to them that you are moving in order to create a better quality of life for the family. Paint a picture of what they can expect in Ohio, what activities they can participate in and where they will live. Also, point out that they can stay in touch with their friends, just from a distance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)