DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and things have been great. We don’t argue much, but when we do, it has to do with me wanting to go out with my girls. I’m a college student and want to have a good time, but he doesn’t trust me enough to go out. He agree that I have never done anything to cause him not to trust me, but his argument is that he doesn’t trust the other men in the environment. I’ve asked him to come out with me, but he would rather stay in the dorms. I end up giving in and staying in with him, but it’s unfair.

I’m not sure what to do because it seems like this will be an issue for the rest of our lives if we stay together. Should I break up with him, or should I accept that I’m not allowed to go out? -- Concerned Girlfriend, Philadelphia

DEAR CONCERNED GIRLFRIEND: Notice the language that you used. You speak of what your boyfriend "allows" you to do. That makes me concerned, because you should not be controlled by anyone, including your boyfriend. Of course, you want to please him -- as he should also want to please you. You also need to figure out how you are compatible and the ways in which you are not.

If you and your friends make safe choices when you go out, you will be as protected as anyone can be as you go about your life. Assure your boyfriend of the precautions that you will follow. That should include limited alcohol consumption, traveling in groups and not being the last to leave.

I do not recommend that you retreat from going out at all. You will end up resenting him for forcing you to make that choice. That is not the way to begin a life together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 38-year-old mother who lives in Connecticut with my 14-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. I’m divorced from a musician, and I work as a bartender. The neighborhood I am in is not the best, and my son has been getting into trouble at school. I have decided to move back to Ohio with my parents because all of my siblings still live there, and I think my kids will have better opportunities there and finally have some stability.

I’m taking my kids away from their home and friends, but we’re struggling out here. Do you think I’m making the right decision for my family? How can I help them with this transition? -- Single Mother, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR SINGLE MOTHER: Moving your family to a location that you can afford and that has built-in family support is smart. Naturally, your children won’t love the idea -- not at first, anyway. They are teenagers, so friends are extremely important at their age. They also are pliable. Explain to them that you are moving in order to create a better quality of life for the family. Paint a picture of what they can expect in Ohio, what activities they can participate in and where they will live. Also, point out that they can stay in touch with their friends, just from a distance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a private tutor working in New York City. I have been working with a family who lives on the Upper East Side for six months. They have a 7-year-old son, and I love working with him and enjoy interacting with the family, too. Next fall, the family is moving to London for a job opportunity. Last week, my boss approached me about moving to London with them to continue my tutoring position with the family. All of my expenses would be paid in addition to my usual tutor salary. The offer sounds great, but I think it might be too much for me to uproot my entire life to move to London with a family I have known for only six months. Do you think I should take the risk and move? -- Tutoring Job in London, Manhattan, New York

DEAR TUTORING JOB IN LONDON: Congratulate yourself on being an excellent tutor and a trustworthy individual. That this family who has known you for such a short time has extended this invitation is proof that they value you tremendously.

Life is filled with risks and opportunities. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the move. Write down what you like about the idea and what you don’t. Be specific. List the questions that you have as well. For example, if you will be living at the family home, what are the ground rules? Will you be expected to baby-sit for the child, and, if so, what is the compensation? Can they give you a formal employment contract for a specific period, after which you renegotiate? Think through it all and ask them everything that you can imagine so that you can get comfortable with the idea. Personally, I think it sounds like a wonderful opportunity!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father of three beautiful girls. My wife wants to have another child. As much as I love the idea of making our family bigger and having another baby, I am apprehensive about the idea of having another daughter. Don’t get me wrong -- I love my girls more than anything in the world, but the thought of having four daughters is intimidating.

I have always wanted a son and would be ecstatic if my wife and I had a boy, but there is no way of guaranteeing that. I know that may sound selfish, but is it? Should I discuss with my wife that I want another baby only if it’s a boy? -- Yearning for a Son, Denver

DEAR YEARNING FOR A SON: You need to get realistic. There is no way that you can ensure that your wife will give birth to a son, at least not to my knowledge. If you want a son that badly, you may want to talk to your wife about adopting a boy. You can express your concerns to your wife, but be clear that neither you nor she can control the sex of the child that you bring into the world.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a gymnastics coach who is dedicated and motivated to make our team better. He puts his attention toward practice and the girls only when we are in the gym, and he is uninterested in dealing with anything that involves the girls outside of the gym. It is hard for him to understand that he has to be a part of both worlds in order to succeed in the gym. How do I approach my coach about my concern for his lack of participation? -- Current Gymnast, Seattle

DEAR CURRENT GYMNAST: As you already know, coaches are often strong-willed and set in their ways regarding how to motivate their teams. With that in mind, you have to be strategic and creative in order to get your coach to consider another approach to how he engages his students.

Take a personal approach. Tell him that you are feeling disconnected from him. You spend endless hours working together, which means you do not have time to develop many other bonds. When he is unwilling or uninterested in bonding with you in the rest of your life, that leaves you feeling unsupported. Tell him. Ask him to be a bridge for you to the rest of your life. Ultimately, you do want him to let go, but you don’t want him to be abrupt. Ask him to help you and the team strike a balance between gymnastics and your personal lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who expects me to put all of my attention toward her. We are very close, but I have things that I have to do during the day, such as school and hanging out with my other friends. When I don’t see her, she gets angry with me and won’t talk to me, making me feel guilty, but she isn’t my only priority. This is an ongoing issue, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. How do I tell her that I care about her but can’t spend every second of the day with her without getting into an argument? I have a few friends in school and from a couple of social clubs. She doesn’t. -- Charismatic Friend, Cincinnati

DEAR CHARISMATIC FRIEND: Your challenge is that you and your friend have different ways of engaging others, and you have different ways of understanding friendship. You have to educate her so that she will not feel abandoned and you will not feel overwhelmed.

Remind your friend of how much you love and appreciate her. Tell her that you never mean to hurt her, but you do have hobbies and other friends. Be direct and let her know that you will not spend every free moment with her, but that does not mean that you are rejecting her. Instead, it means you are living your life. Encourage her to branch out and build additional bonds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)