DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a private tutor working in New York City. I have been working with a family who lives on the Upper East Side for six months. They have a 7-year-old son, and I love working with him and enjoy interacting with the family, too. Next fall, the family is moving to London for a job opportunity. Last week, my boss approached me about moving to London with them to continue my tutoring position with the family. All of my expenses would be paid in addition to my usual tutor salary. The offer sounds great, but I think it might be too much for me to uproot my entire life to move to London with a family I have known for only six months. Do you think I should take the risk and move? -- Tutoring Job in London, Manhattan, New York

DEAR TUTORING JOB IN LONDON: Congratulate yourself on being an excellent tutor and a trustworthy individual. That this family who has known you for such a short time has extended this invitation is proof that they value you tremendously.

Life is filled with risks and opportunities. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the move. Write down what you like about the idea and what you don’t. Be specific. List the questions that you have as well. For example, if you will be living at the family home, what are the ground rules? Will you be expected to baby-sit for the child, and, if so, what is the compensation? Can they give you a formal employment contract for a specific period, after which you renegotiate? Think through it all and ask them everything that you can imagine so that you can get comfortable with the idea. Personally, I think it sounds like a wonderful opportunity!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father of three beautiful girls. My wife wants to have another child. As much as I love the idea of making our family bigger and having another baby, I am apprehensive about the idea of having another daughter. Don’t get me wrong -- I love my girls more than anything in the world, but the thought of having four daughters is intimidating.

I have always wanted a son and would be ecstatic if my wife and I had a boy, but there is no way of guaranteeing that. I know that may sound selfish, but is it? Should I discuss with my wife that I want another baby only if it’s a boy? -- Yearning for a Son, Denver

DEAR YEARNING FOR A SON: You need to get realistic. There is no way that you can ensure that your wife will give birth to a son, at least not to my knowledge. If you want a son that badly, you may want to talk to your wife about adopting a boy. You can express your concerns to your wife, but be clear that neither you nor she can control the sex of the child that you bring into the world.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a gymnastics coach who is dedicated and motivated to make our team better. He puts his attention toward practice and the girls only when we are in the gym, and he is uninterested in dealing with anything that involves the girls outside of the gym. It is hard for him to understand that he has to be a part of both worlds in order to succeed in the gym. How do I approach my coach about my concern for his lack of participation? -- Current Gymnast, Seattle

DEAR CURRENT GYMNAST: As you already know, coaches are often strong-willed and set in their ways regarding how to motivate their teams. With that in mind, you have to be strategic and creative in order to get your coach to consider another approach to how he engages his students.

Take a personal approach. Tell him that you are feeling disconnected from him. You spend endless hours working together, which means you do not have time to develop many other bonds. When he is unwilling or uninterested in bonding with you in the rest of your life, that leaves you feeling unsupported. Tell him. Ask him to be a bridge for you to the rest of your life. Ultimately, you do want him to let go, but you don’t want him to be abrupt. Ask him to help you and the team strike a balance between gymnastics and your personal lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who expects me to put all of my attention toward her. We are very close, but I have things that I have to do during the day, such as school and hanging out with my other friends. When I don’t see her, she gets angry with me and won’t talk to me, making me feel guilty, but she isn’t my only priority. This is an ongoing issue, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. How do I tell her that I care about her but can’t spend every second of the day with her without getting into an argument? I have a few friends in school and from a couple of social clubs. She doesn’t. -- Charismatic Friend, Cincinnati

DEAR CHARISMATIC FRIEND: Your challenge is that you and your friend have different ways of engaging others, and you have different ways of understanding friendship. You have to educate her so that she will not feel abandoned and you will not feel overwhelmed.

Remind your friend of how much you love and appreciate her. Tell her that you never mean to hurt her, but you do have hobbies and other friends. Be direct and let her know that you will not spend every free moment with her, but that does not mean that you are rejecting her. Instead, it means you are living your life. Encourage her to branch out and build additional bonds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife grew up attending summer camp every year with her siblings. It was one of those sleep-away camps up in Maine, where kids go for the entire summer. She explained that at first she didn't want to go because she didn’t want to be away from her parents for such a long time, but then she learned to love it. I, on the other hand, did not go to any form of camp, so the concept is foreign to me.

Last week we had a discussion about whether to send our kids to camp for two months in the summer. I am opposed to the idea, but my wife is sure that it will be amazing for our children. What should we do? -- Sleep-Away Camp, Philadelphia

DEAR SLEEP-AWAY CAMP: I am more like you than your wife. I went to sleep-away camp for a few days when I was a kid -- and I hated it. I even convinced my mother to let me come home early. But I know now that I simply had a bad experience.

Even though I hated camp, I allowed my daughter to go because she was adamant about it. She has been going to sleep-away camp in New Hampshire since she was 8 years old. She is 14 now, and she goes for a month. Many of her friends go for two months. I have to draw the line with that much time. Two months, for me and my family, is too long. It's not because we don’t value sleep-away camp, it is because we want to spend time with our daughter. In the summer, we think it is important to share quality time together.

Once the children go to college, if parents are doing the right thing, they become independent and are not in our presence as much. I want to enjoy as much time together as we can, while simultaneously granting appropriate amounts of freedom.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I dislike my younger sister’s boyfriend. He is a manipulative mooch. He uses his relationship with my sister to get things from my family. For example, he has basically moved into our house, eats all of our food and is constantly asking my parents for things. My parents are so obsessed with him that they got him a fancy laptop.

I feel like I am the only one who notices his behavior, and every time I try to bring it up, my sister and my parents ignore it. How do I get my family out from under this guy’s spell? -- Out of My House, Atlanta

DEAR OUT OF MY HOUSE: Keep pointing out obvious moments when he is taking advantage of the situation, but know that they may not wake up to his machinations until he has hurt them. Be ready to support your family when he makes his move. Meanwhile, point out that until he is an official family member, he should not have full privileges. That may help.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)