DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a party planner in Manhattan, New York, and I have just encountered one of my worst clients ever. This particular client came to my office to discuss her arrangements, but she got nasty with me and started an argument because she was upset that the red napkins she wanted are out of out of stock and won't be available in time for her event. I yelled back and kicked her out of the office -- respectfully. My assistant came up to me the other day to tell me that she doesn't like how I treated my client. I told her to mind her business and get back to work. I don't tolerate disrespect, and I don't want to make this situation any bigger than it already is. What should I do? -- Office out of Control, Manhattan, New York

DEAR OFFICE OUT OF CONTROL: Start with yourself. You work in a volatile industry where tempers often run high, yet as the party planner, you are required to keep a cool head. The notion of the customer always being right is alive and well. And you need to adhere to it. Rather than flying off the handle and yelling back at your customer, you should have gotten creative and figured out a viable solution that would please her. Yelling at her and later at your employee reflects poorly on you. Honestly, it also presents you as the one being disrespectful.

In the future, you need to stay calm and become a master problem solver. Your work requires you to handle endless challenges. In order to be successful, you must figure out how to stay positive throughout everything. Your job now is to repair the relationships at work and to build a positive reputation in the marketplace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a New Yorker who has been taking the train for my entire life. Day after day, I have dealt with delays and crowded trains. Enough is enough! I feel like I deserve some peace of mind, so I have decided that it is time for me to get a car. The problem is that I don’t have any money.

I’ve been trying to save up the money for a car, but it’s hard. I’m lacking motivation. I need help trying to pull though and save up for a car. Do you have tips for reaching my goal? -- Tired of the Subway, Queens, New York

DEAR TIRED OF THE SUBWAY: As a longtime New York City resident, I understand your frustration with the subway system; however, I will point out to you that it is the most efficient and affordable way to get around the city. Because I drive, I can tell you that if you intend to drive during the workday, you will essentially be trading crowds underground with crowds aboveground.

You may want to try using Zipcar for a while to see how well you like driving in the city. That’s an affordable way to figure out how dedicated you are to owning a car in the city.

In terms of saving for a car, commit to putting aside 10 percent of your income before you touch a dollar. If you do that, you will raise the money in no time. Just keep checking in with yourself to determine if buying a car is the best use of that money.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was in primary school, I had a hard time getting along with other kids. My family was less fortunate, and people saw me as the poor girl and seemed to not want to play or even work on group projects with me. This brought me down several times, but it also encouraged me to continue working hard to become the successful woman I am today.

One of the kids who used to torment me constantly recently reached out to me to congratulate me on my company’s success. I simply replied “Thank you” and exited the conversation. He went on to tell me about his current situation and how he is in need of a couple of bucks. He hasn’t directly asked me for money, but I’m sure that it was implied. I know that I can provide him with some money, but I’m still hurt from his mean words in school. What should I do? -- Still Hurting, Baltimore

DEAR STILL HURTING: Congratulations on creating a successful life for yourself. The amazing reality for many people who were tormented as children is that they figure out how to rise above the fray and design dynamic lives for themselves. You do not have to bail out whoever asks you to just because you're doing well now. You can be generous with whomever you choose.

What you may want to do with this person is to take time to have a chat with him. Get together and listen to his story. If you can give him advice on how he can climb out of his hole, do so. Before you leave, tell him how hurtful his words and actions were when you were kids. Make sure he knows how isolating and humiliating it was for you when he and other kids judged you based on your lack of resources. Then wish him well. You have the capacity to forgive this man and hope for the best for him -- without giving him money.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a high school student struggling with finding a balance between school, basketball practice and work. I take about three AP classes, and by the time I'm done with my activities, I tend to be too tired to complete my school assignments on time.

Every time I get the chance to take a break, I find myself going straight to sleep when I know that my sleeping hours should be used to complete work. Basketball is the only way that I know I can get into my dream school. Keeping my job is a must because I need the money to help support my mom and me at home. Do you have any tips on how I can balance roles of a student, athlete and employee at the same time? -- Unbalanced, Cleveland

DEAR UNBALANCED: Your goals are admirable, but you may be hurting yourself by taking on so much. If you are unable to keep up good grades because you are too tired to manage your life, that is a clear sign that something has to give. Speak to your guidance counselor and develop a strategy to get to college. You may want to take one fewer AP course so that you can have time to focus on the other two. You may need to cut your work hours a bit to add an hour or two back in for sleep and homework. Refine your schedule so that you can manage it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been living in New York City for two years, which has opened my eyes tremendously. The number of homeless people in the city is troubling, and I feel like I should do something about it.

I want to start a nonprofit organization to help get people off the street. I am aware that there are a couple out there already, but nothing has changed. I want to get started, but I don’t know how. I have discussed this idea with a few people, but they have shut me down, saying things like, “If they wanted to get off the street, they would have stayed off drugs.” People don't realize that is not always the case. Any tips on how I can get my nonprofit started? -- Advocating for the Homeless, Manhattan, New York

DEAR ADVOCATING FOR THE HOMELESS: There does seem to be a growing homeless population in New York City at the same time that the government boasts the lowest unemployment in generations. It’s hard to fathom this great divide. Yes, some homeless people are drug addicts, but many are people who lost their jobs, suffer from mental illness or otherwise are experiencing hard times.

Since you are new to the city, you may first want to volunteer at one or more of the nonprofits that focuses on the homeless. There are many. Ask lots of questions to learn about how the organizations run, how they receive funding and what challenges they face. Absorb as much knowledge as you can so that you will be ready to start your own organization successfully.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad is 67, and he hasn't been to the doctor in two to three years. I’m worried about his health, but he doesn't seem to care in the slightest. He’s getting older by the day, and I want to make sure he is in tip-top shape for my wedding. It might seem a little selfish, but I care for his well-being, and I want to make sure that he is OK. He said to me one time that he is scared to walk into the doctor’s office because he is afraid he might never come out.

I am already stressed with everything going on for my wedding, and I don't want to rearrange things because my dad might not be healthy enough. How can I convince him to get a checkup? -- Dad Vs. Wedding Stress, Akron, Ohio

DEAR DAD VS. WEDDING STRESS: You are dealing with two major stressors at the same time. Getting married is at the top of the list. Most couples have difficulty managing their wedding plans without a high degree of tension. Adding your father’s possible health concerns only exacerbates things.

Know that you cannot control him. You cannot force him to go to the doctor, so stop obsessing over it. Instead, talk to him about his role in the wedding, and include him in your wedding plans. Stop trying to force him to do anything. Pray that he will remain in good health.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)