DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a girl’s camp supervisor, and lately things have been getting a little weird at our campsite. There have been rumors about a potential threat on our site, and it has put a lot of us supervisors on alert. We hold events most weekends in the spring and through the summer. Our job is to look after our kids and return them safe and sound to their parents at the end of the weekend, but our kids have been getting worried and too afraid to show up for camp. I don’t want them to be alarmed, but I also don’t know how to bring up such a harsh topic to 10-year-olds. What should I do? -- On Alert, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR ON ALERT: Your first responsibility is to research the threat thoroughly so that you can be clear about what the concern is. Figure that out with the camp leadership. Determine how you will safeguard the children and what measures they should be told to take to ensure their safety. Next, the parents need to be contacted so that they are fully informed about whatever the threat is. Even if it is a baseless threat, parents should be informed and told what you have done to verify its existence or lack thereof. Explain to the parents how you will protect their daughters when they come to camp.

You will have some parents choose to pull their children out of the camp, but many will stay if they feel that you have taken the proper steps to keep their children safe.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now, and he still hasn't proposed. I feel like it's time to settle down and have kids, but I know that he doesn't feel the same way. I want take my chances and propose. My best friend and I just went to a jewelry store to pick up this lovely ring that I think my boyfriend will love.

Last night, my boyfriend brought up the fact that he loves how slow our relationship is going. I want to get engaged, but now I feel like we will never be on the same page. Should I go ahead with the proposal? -- At a Crossroads, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: You just said yourself that you “know that he doesn’t feel the same way.” Shoving a ring at him -- no matter how beautifully you package it -- will not likely change his mind. In fact, it could make for an extremely awkward moment followed by hurt feelings. I do not recommend that you propose and present the ring.

Talk to him about your ideas about the future and how you would like it to unfold. You can tell him that you would like to discuss the idea that he just mentioned, namely that he enjoys how slowly things are going in your relationship. Ask him exactly what he means by that. Do not assume that you understand. Let him articulate his feelings. Then ask him to listen to your feelings. Tell him that you want to get married soon, and you would like to marry him. Ask him how he feels about that. Hear whatever he says, because he will be telling you his truth.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Growing up has been difficult for me, as I have been suffering with low self-esteem for a long time. My nose has never been flattering, and kids made fun of it during elementary school. I have been saving up for five years, and I finally have enough money to get a nose job. Since I don’t have any close friends, I asked my mother to come with me to the doctor’s office to get a consultation. She has agreed, but she doesn't understand why I am so self-conscious about it. How can I get her understand my decision? -- Bad Nose, Westchester, New York

DEAR BAD NOSE: Share with your mother the things that people have said to you over the years and how those comments have made you feel. Speaking your truth may be therapeutic for you as well. I understand your mother’s question, by the way. The truth is, a nose job is no guarantee that you will suddenly have higher self-esteem. You have to work at that, no matter what. I recommend that you start saying affirmations to yourself about your good qualities -- your intelligence, your kindness, your thriftiness (you have saved a lot of money!) and any other qualities that you can name. Reminding yourself of your value and surrounding yourself with others who support you are key to building a positive view of yourself.

If you truly want the nose job, go for it. But be clear that working on your inner self is what will help you to feel your best.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a job at a bank -- my dream job.

Right away, I made the biggest mistake in my career: I miscounted money that I was giving to a customer and gave the customer $200 more than they had asked for. It was a rookie mistake. I should have double-checked the money, but I didn’t. Instead of telling my boss, I changed the total amount in the system to cover my mistake until I came up with a better plan. I told my co-worker my situation, and instead of having my back, she told our manager about it. My manager fired me on the spot, and now my career in finance is officially ruined. How can I plead my case and talk my way into getting my job back? -- Mismanaged Money, Boston

DEAR MISMANAGED MONEY: This is a tough one, not so much because you miscounted and gave away too much money, but because you lied about it and attempted to cover it up. Your integrity is in question, and that is a very difficult thing to repair.

Speak to your former boss, apologize and admit that you know you made a huge mistake. Tell him what you were planning, which, I assume, was to find a way to put the money back in the next day. Confess that you realize your plan was not appropriate, that you panicked and that you are terribly sorry. Ask for a second chance. If that doesn't work, you can ask your boss to not badmouth you to future employers if they call for a reference check.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My middle school daughter is going through it. She is a happy, confident, strong young lady. She is also a very good student. Her problems are coming from her closest friends. There are three girls who have been her tight buddies for years, but recently they have been particularly mean to my daughter. They do things together and do not include her. They no longer wait for her at lunchtime so they can eat together. Occasionally, they show up as if nothing ever happened, but they snub her a lot.

Naturally, my daughter is hurt. She thought these girls were her best friends, only to discover that they only like her sometimes now. What can I do or say to her to help her through this difficult time? -- My Daughter Is Devastated, Seattle

DEAR MY DAUGHTER IS DEVASTATED: Sadly, mean-girl behavior is all too common during the middle school years in particular. What you can do is remind your daughter of how much you love and support her. Be an attentive listener so that you stay up on what's going on without prying too much. Suggest that she expand her friend group. Who else in her class or grade can she spend time with? She should open her eyes and look at her classmates differently. There may be girls right there who would like to spend time with her.

Encourage your daughter to participate in extracurricular activities outside of school so that she can build more relationships. If these girls continue to be mean and rude, she can decide to walk away from them entirely. If they don't treat her with respect, she needs to know that she does not have to keep them in her life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are celebrating a big anniversary this year, and I really wanted to host a dance party for us because we love to dance together. The reality is that I can't do that. I have been working part-time for a couple of years, and honestly we can't afford to throw any kind of party. It's getting close to the date, and I really want to do something special for my husband. We have been through so much, and it would mean a lot for us to be able to celebrate. Do you have any suggestions? -- Anniversary on a Budget, Denver

DEAR ANNIVERSARY ON A BUDGET: Congratulations on your many years of marriage. Now it's time to get creative. You want to dance for your big day? You can still do that. You may not be able to host a huge party, but you can choose a nightclub in your city and invite your friends to join you there that evening to dance. If your home has enough room, you can host a small dance party right there and just turn up the music.

Beyond dancing, you can schedule a gathering with a few of your closest friends. You can have it at home or at a friend's home. This could be a dessert-only party, which could help you cut down on expenses. Finally, you can go out to a nice dinner with your husband, just the two of you, where you reminisce about your life together.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)