DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating the same guy for about a year now. We get along so well that I can really see a future with him. Last week, one of our mutual friends informed me that my boyfriend does not see a future with me at all. I was completely heartbroken and confused when my friend told me this and wanted to know why. After an hour of speaking, the bottom line was that my boyfriend will never marry me because I am not Jewish.

I always knew he was very religious, but I did not know that he would let his religion get in the way of a relationship. I am also wondering why he strung me along for a whole year if he did not see our relationship going anywhere. I am wondering what your opinion on religion and relationships is, and whether you think he is in the wrong for letting my feelings get this far. -- Led On, Ithaca, New York

DEAR LED ON: You need to talk directly to your boyfriend. At the very least, he needs to have the courage to talk to you about where he stands in the relationship. It is common for religion to stand in the way of a couple getting married and spending their lives together. This is because religion tends to define many people's values and ways of engaging the world.

In the Jewish tradition, the religion of the children will follow the mother's religion if a couple intermarries. Your boyfriend's family may not be willing to let his children be non-Jewish, especially if they are religious. The one way you could get around this is to convert to Judaism. This is an option that many couples choose and that you can consider. The thing is, you and your boyfriend need to get on the same page to determine whether you do have a future. You can work through anything if you do it as a team.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been married for over 20 years. I have been the breadwinner in the family while my wife stayed home to raise our three children. Now that the kids have grown up and are all out of the house, my wife wants to start her own business. She has always been very health-conscious, so she has plans to open her own juice shop in Washington, D.C.

I think it is a great idea and have been supporting her in every way that I can. Even though I have been telling her this, she is still doubtful of her business capabilities and does not think she will be able to follow her dreams. Do you have any advice on how I can motivate my wife? -- Supportive Husband, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND: Encourage your wife to get support through the Small Business Administration or a local women's business organization. She can join the local chamber of commerce, too. She should learn as much as she can about how to run a business before she starts hers. By meeting business owners in the area, she can gain insight into how others are managing, what challenges they have had, and what she can expect. Getting support should help her to be more confident and clear about her plans.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a New York City girl my entire life. I grew up in the West Village, attended city schools and commuted through Manhattan for as long as I can remember. My parents let me take the subway with my friend as soon as I entered middle school, and I am very comfortable with the sometimes confusing NYC subway system.

I am about to leave for college, and my future roommate recently asked me if I am bringing my car up to school, and whether I plan on driving to classes. I was taken aback by this question because not only do I not have a car, but I don't even have a driver's license. Living in New York, I never saw the need for one. Do you think a driver's license is an important thing to have in your life? -- Need to Drive, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR NEED TO DRIVE: As someone who moved to New York City after having learned to drive, I am a big proponent of driving. It gives you a level of independence that can serve you well. I also know that many New Yorkers never learn to drive, and it often isn't an issue for them. New York City has an excellent public transportation system, between the subways and the buses.

What you should find out is how important being able to drive is at your new school. It could be that you will need transportation there. Since you do not have a car, consider bringing a bike. At some schools, navigating campus alone can be a challenge because it is so vast. In terms of learning to drive, I'm 100 percent for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I are very close. We spend a lot of time together and know basically everything about each other's lives. He is also very involved in the "druggie" crowd. He loves taking drugs for recreational purposes, as do many people. Over the past couple of months, I believe my friend's drug problem has gotten out of hand, and he needs help. I have tried, his girlfriend has tried and other peers have tried to talk to him about stopping with the drugs. I think it has gotten to the point where his parents need to be involved. Do you think I will ruin our relationship if I am the one to go to his parents with the bad news? I know I will be doing what is best for him, but I don't want to lose him as a friend. -- Tattletale or Saving Friend's Life, Baltimore

DEAR TATTLETALE OR SAVING FRIEND'S LIFE: You may have to sacrifice your friendship in order to save your friend, at least in the short term. You are right that he will be livid if you tell his parents about his drug use. He will likely feel betrayed and lash out at you -- if he learns that you told them.

But if your tip to his parents results in his getting the help that he needs, it will be worth it. Do not delay!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle was recently diagnosed with liver cancer. He caught it early, so he was able to get chemo and has had a couple of surgeries in the past few months. We live in different states, but I have always had a close relationship with him.

I work full time, but I have been thinking about visiting him for a week or two. I can’t afford to take that much time off, but something is telling me that this may be the last time I get to spend quality time with him. Should I visit him? -- Sick Uncle, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SICK UNCLE: It is honorable that you want to spend time with your uncle. Too often, when young people move away from home and start their lives, they disconnect from family. This is usually unintentional, but it's still common.

You absolutely should go visit your uncle. Work it out with your employer. Speak to your boss about your family crisis and ask how much time you can take off to support him.

If your uncle has the energy and ability to use technology, set him up with FaceTime or Skype so that you can have video chats when you are back home. He will appreciate your presence in person and your continuing connection to him by phone.

While you are with him, do your best to ensure that he is set up with the medical supports he needs. If there is any family nearby, talk to them about how they can help him during this fragile time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a group of 10 friends from college. We are all still close and meet up regularly for brunch or dinner. I have always had a hunch that one of my friends might be a lesbian. All through college, she never seemed interested in guys, and she still has never had a boyfriend. When she drinks, she gets very touchy-feely with my friends and me, which at first I thought was because she was intoxicated, but now I think it’s her true feelings coming out. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to ask? I want to make sure she knows I will always be her friend no matter her sexual preference. -- Friend Might Be Gay, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR FRIEND MIGHT BE GAY: Good for you that you have observed what may be the true feelings of your friend that emerge when she’s drinking. This means that she is probably uncomfortable sharing them while sober. Since you are good friends, it would be wonderful for you to speak to her privately and ask her if she is gay. Tell her why you think so, and immediately add that you accept her as she is. Suggest that she open up and talk about her life with your friend group. I'm sure it's difficult to notice her getting touchy-feely after she drinks without coming out and talking about what’s really going on for her. Offer to be a sounding board. If she doesn’t want to tell the whole group, that’s OK, too. Make sure she knows you have her back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)