DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a New York City girl my entire life. I grew up in the West Village, attended city schools and commuted through Manhattan for as long as I can remember. My parents let me take the subway with my friend as soon as I entered middle school, and I am very comfortable with the sometimes confusing NYC subway system.

I am about to leave for college, and my future roommate recently asked me if I am bringing my car up to school, and whether I plan on driving to classes. I was taken aback by this question because not only do I not have a car, but I don't even have a driver's license. Living in New York, I never saw the need for one. Do you think a driver's license is an important thing to have in your life? -- Need to Drive, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR NEED TO DRIVE: As someone who moved to New York City after having learned to drive, I am a big proponent of driving. It gives you a level of independence that can serve you well. I also know that many New Yorkers never learn to drive, and it often isn't an issue for them. New York City has an excellent public transportation system, between the subways and the buses.

What you should find out is how important being able to drive is at your new school. It could be that you will need transportation there. Since you do not have a car, consider bringing a bike. At some schools, navigating campus alone can be a challenge because it is so vast. In terms of learning to drive, I'm 100 percent for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I are very close. We spend a lot of time together and know basically everything about each other's lives. He is also very involved in the "druggie" crowd. He loves taking drugs for recreational purposes, as do many people. Over the past couple of months, I believe my friend's drug problem has gotten out of hand, and he needs help. I have tried, his girlfriend has tried and other peers have tried to talk to him about stopping with the drugs. I think it has gotten to the point where his parents need to be involved. Do you think I will ruin our relationship if I am the one to go to his parents with the bad news? I know I will be doing what is best for him, but I don't want to lose him as a friend. -- Tattletale or Saving Friend's Life, Baltimore

DEAR TATTLETALE OR SAVING FRIEND'S LIFE: You may have to sacrifice your friendship in order to save your friend, at least in the short term. You are right that he will be livid if you tell his parents about his drug use. He will likely feel betrayed and lash out at you -- if he learns that you told them.

But if your tip to his parents results in his getting the help that he needs, it will be worth it. Do not delay!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle was recently diagnosed with liver cancer. He caught it early, so he was able to get chemo and has had a couple of surgeries in the past few months. We live in different states, but I have always had a close relationship with him.

I work full time, but I have been thinking about visiting him for a week or two. I can’t afford to take that much time off, but something is telling me that this may be the last time I get to spend quality time with him. Should I visit him? -- Sick Uncle, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SICK UNCLE: It is honorable that you want to spend time with your uncle. Too often, when young people move away from home and start their lives, they disconnect from family. This is usually unintentional, but it's still common.

You absolutely should go visit your uncle. Work it out with your employer. Speak to your boss about your family crisis and ask how much time you can take off to support him.

If your uncle has the energy and ability to use technology, set him up with FaceTime or Skype so that you can have video chats when you are back home. He will appreciate your presence in person and your continuing connection to him by phone.

While you are with him, do your best to ensure that he is set up with the medical supports he needs. If there is any family nearby, talk to them about how they can help him during this fragile time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a group of 10 friends from college. We are all still close and meet up regularly for brunch or dinner. I have always had a hunch that one of my friends might be a lesbian. All through college, she never seemed interested in guys, and she still has never had a boyfriend. When she drinks, she gets very touchy-feely with my friends and me, which at first I thought was because she was intoxicated, but now I think it’s her true feelings coming out. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to ask? I want to make sure she knows I will always be her friend no matter her sexual preference. -- Friend Might Be Gay, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR FRIEND MIGHT BE GAY: Good for you that you have observed what may be the true feelings of your friend that emerge when she’s drinking. This means that she is probably uncomfortable sharing them while sober. Since you are good friends, it would be wonderful for you to speak to her privately and ask her if she is gay. Tell her why you think so, and immediately add that you accept her as she is. Suggest that she open up and talk about her life with your friend group. I'm sure it's difficult to notice her getting touchy-feely after she drinks without coming out and talking about what’s really going on for her. Offer to be a sounding board. If she doesn’t want to tell the whole group, that’s OK, too. Make sure she knows you have her back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage a lot recently. A couple of months ago, he asked me to go engagement ring shopping together to get a sense of my ring style. Although some people would not do this because they want it to be a surprise, I liked the idea of picking out my own ring. I showed my boyfriend a ring that I absolutely loved, which was a picture of my friend’s engagement ring. When I told my friend that I wanted a similar engagement ring, she got upset with me. I asked her why, and she explained that she didn’t want me copying her ring style. What is your opinion about claiming ring styles? Am I in the wrong? -- Copied Engagement Ring, Miami

DEAR COPIED ENGAGEMENT RING: I can understand why your friend is uncomfortable about this, but it sounds like she blew it out of proportion. You have some untangling to do. First, you can talk to your boyfriend and tell him that the ring you showed him belongs to a friend. Point out that while you like it, you hope that a variation of that style will ultimately be the choice so that you have something unique.

For your friend, tell her that your love of her ring should be a compliment to her. The last thing that you intended was to insult her. You were trying to respond to your boyfriend’s desire to get you a ring that you would love. Assure her that you will do your best to select a ring that is unique to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up traveling a lot. I have lived in four countries and have visited over 25 countries. I love to travel and would consider it one of my passions.

My wife, on other hand, grew up in a very different setting. Her family rarely took vacations, and if they did, it was to Florida. She is now 31 and has still never left the U.S.

I always try to convince my wife to join me on my business trips when I go overseas, but she is uncomfortable leaving our home. Do you think this trait is something that can change, or will she be like this our entire marriage? -- Travel Bug, Canton, Ohio

DEAR TRAVEL BUG: Something for you to contemplate is that you selected a wife who had an opposite experience to yours. What about her was and is attractive to you? Part of it must be how grounded she is. You are going to have to accept that her sense of adventure is different from yours. That said, you can introduce her to more of the world, but you may want to start in the United States. Schedule short trips to various landmark destinations that will open her eyes -- and yours -- to the wonders of this country. Let her get her feet wet, so to speak, on American soil. This may intrigue her enough to want to go overseas with you.

She will never likely be ready to travel in the way you prefer. That means that either your international travel days are over, or you travel solo or with a buddy when you feel the need to take a trip.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)