DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage a lot recently. A couple of months ago, he asked me to go engagement ring shopping together to get a sense of my ring style. Although some people would not do this because they want it to be a surprise, I liked the idea of picking out my own ring. I showed my boyfriend a ring that I absolutely loved, which was a picture of my friend’s engagement ring. When I told my friend that I wanted a similar engagement ring, she got upset with me. I asked her why, and she explained that she didn’t want me copying her ring style. What is your opinion about claiming ring styles? Am I in the wrong? -- Copied Engagement Ring, Miami

DEAR COPIED ENGAGEMENT RING: I can understand why your friend is uncomfortable about this, but it sounds like she blew it out of proportion. You have some untangling to do. First, you can talk to your boyfriend and tell him that the ring you showed him belongs to a friend. Point out that while you like it, you hope that a variation of that style will ultimately be the choice so that you have something unique.

For your friend, tell her that your love of her ring should be a compliment to her. The last thing that you intended was to insult her. You were trying to respond to your boyfriend’s desire to get you a ring that you would love. Assure her that you will do your best to select a ring that is unique to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up traveling a lot. I have lived in four countries and have visited over 25 countries. I love to travel and would consider it one of my passions.

My wife, on other hand, grew up in a very different setting. Her family rarely took vacations, and if they did, it was to Florida. She is now 31 and has still never left the U.S.

I always try to convince my wife to join me on my business trips when I go overseas, but she is uncomfortable leaving our home. Do you think this trait is something that can change, or will she be like this our entire marriage? -- Travel Bug, Canton, Ohio

DEAR TRAVEL BUG: Something for you to contemplate is that you selected a wife who had an opposite experience to yours. What about her was and is attractive to you? Part of it must be how grounded she is. You are going to have to accept that her sense of adventure is different from yours. That said, you can introduce her to more of the world, but you may want to start in the United States. Schedule short trips to various landmark destinations that will open her eyes -- and yours -- to the wonders of this country. Let her get her feet wet, so to speak, on American soil. This may intrigue her enough to want to go overseas with you.

She will never likely be ready to travel in the way you prefer. That means that either your international travel days are over, or you travel solo or with a buddy when you feel the need to take a trip.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend grew up with a dog in his family, and is one of those guys who calls the dog his brother. The dog passed away when my boyfriend was 23, and he was devastated. I had never seen him cry until that point in our relationship.

It has been a couple of months, and my boyfriend has asked me if he and I can get a dog together. As much as I want to say yes to bring that happiness back to my boyfriend, I dislike dogs. I never had any pets growing up, so I don’t understand the whole “bond with an animal” thing. How should I deal with this situation? -- Boyfriend Wants a Dog, Albuquerque, New Mexico

DEAR BOYFRIEND WANTS A DOG: It is common for couples to have differing views about pets. What is important is that you come to an agreement on how you will manage the pets if you ultimately choose to have one (or more). For you, this means softening a bit toward dogs. This doesn’t mean that you have to grow to love dogs, but it would be great for you to be empathetic toward your boyfriend’s attitude.

As it relates to getting a dog, I don’t think you should try to prevent your boyfriend from getting another. He will resent you if you do. Instead, make it clear to him that while you are not into dogs, you are willing for him to get another -- provided he accepts full responsibility for it. Be clear that you do not want to have to engage with the dog.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been living with my partner in our apartment for 2 1/2 years. In all this time, my partner has cooked dinner twice. I’m not sure when it was decided that I would be the chef of the house, but it turned out that way. I am always the one to go grocery shopping after work and come home to cook dinner for the two of us.

Both of us are women, so she can’t use the gender card -- even though that would be crazy, too. Anyhow, I want to ask my partner to cook more, but I fear that after all this time has passed, it might be too late. -- Solo Chef, Dallas

DEAR SOLO CHEF: If you plan to be together for the long haul, you are still in the early stages of your relationship. I recommend weekly meetings for people who live together, where you go over the business of the household and adjust according to the week’s needs. This is a time when you can bring up your observation that the food shopping and cooking seems to have fallen on your shoulders. Tell your partner that you want to share this responsibility. Ask her if she can commit to being an active participant in creating the family meals. Get her to open up about her perspective. This may not be a conscious act on her part. She may view the situation as something that you seemed to enjoy.

Talk about it and make a plan that is more equitable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of six grandchildren on my mother's side. My grandmother likes to spend a lot of time with her grandchildren, so we see her a lot. Throughout my entire life, I have always been the least close with my grandma. She has clear favorites, and I seem to rank last on the list. It has gotten to the point where on my birthday I don't even receive a birthday card, whereas my siblings and cousins get endless gifts and cards. It hadn’t bothered me until now, and I want to speak to her about it. Do you think I should talk to my parents or go straight to my grandmother and tell her how I have been feeling? -- Left-Out Grandchild, Milwaukee

DEAR LEFT-OUT GRANDCHILD: If you feel strong enough emotionally to address this with your grandmother, go for it. Chances are, you will get the best answer if you ask yourself. Be mindful not to put her on the defensive, though, because she may retaliate rather than explain whatever is in her head. Approach her gingerly. Tell her you want to ask her a question. Ask her if you have done something to offend her, or if something happened that made her not care as much for you. If she rejects your feelings, tell her that you feel like she ignores you, while at the same time doting over her other grandchildren. Point out the most recent birthday snub as an example. In the end, tell her that you wish you had a closer relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been trying to start a family for about a year. We have had some trouble conceiving, and I have suffered two miscarriages. My husband and I want a child, but maybe now is not the time for us. My husband insists that it is and wants to keep trying. How do I suggest to him that maybe we should take a break? I don’t want to come off as not wanting to start a family with him, but at the same time, I am emotionally and physically drained from all this baby stuff! -- Pause Starting a Family, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR PAUSE STARTING A FAMILY: Now is a perfect time to bring your doctor into the picture. Schedule an appointment where you get a checkup on your health and guidance on when it is advised to start trying to conceive again. Tell your doctor about your trepidation, and ask for support. You may want to see a psychologist who can help you through the trauma of the two miscarriages.

I went through a miscarriage, and it was devastating for me. Even though it also upset my husband, honestly, there was something about the physical and emotional havoc that it wreaked on me that was unfathomable for him -- at least on some levels. It may take you longer to be ready to try again. Your husband may need a lot of support in understanding what you are going through. Therapy for both of you can be beneficial.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)