DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school athlete. I play soccer in the fall and lacrosse in the spring. At my high school, there are three separate sports seasons. Since I already play in two of those seasons, I am pretty busy.

The other day, my father told me I should take up another sport next winter to keep fit. As much as I love working out and playing for a team, I kind of like the idea of having an off-season. I would like that time just to hang out after school instead of going from practice to practice. What do you think would be best for me? Is there a way I can convince my dad to have the winter sports season off next year? -- Overworked Athlete, Salisbury, Maryland

DEAR OVERWORKED ATHLETE: Being involved in sports every season keeps you focused and occupied, which is probably on your father’s mind. Your argument that you just want to hang out after school will not likely come as a welcome option for him, as "hanging out" can sometimes lead to undesirable activities. That is not to say that you will find yourself in trouble, but having idle time is not ideal for everyone, especially students.

That said, I see the value in having some downtime. The argument you may want to present to your father is that you would like that one off-season to be able to have more time for homework and a little time to spend with your friends. In truth, you probably will be able to enjoy a bit more rest and devote more quality time to your schoolwork, which is always good.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently working in the United Kingdom. My younger sister attends a university in the United States, and her college graduation is coming up. I really want to be there and was planning on making my attendance a surprise.

As she tells me the scheduled plans for graduation weekend, I am starting to think it may be best if I tell her I am coming. As much as I would love to see her face when I show up at the ceremony, I fear that there is too much planning that goes into the weekend, and that my showing up may cause her more stress. What do you think would be the best solution to my dilemma? -- Graduation Surprise, London

DEAR GRADUATION SURPRISE: Your instincts are on point. The last thing you want to do is add stress to your sister’s graduation experience. Chances are, she will be thrilled to know that you are coming.

What you should do is contact her right away and inform her of your intention to be there to celebrate with her on this very special weekend. Ask her if she can secure a ticket to the graduation for you and if you can participate in the various activities planned for the weekend. This is key, because often tickets are limited, and restaurants require reservations during this busy time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while now. Even though we have been together for years, I do not have a great relationship with her parents -- we don't have issues with one another, but we've never had a connection that flowed.

My girlfriend's college graduation is approaching, and I am nervous to attend due to the amount of time I would have to spend with her family. Do you have any advice on how I can survive the weekend with her not-so-welcoming parents? -- Surviving the Parents, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR SURVIVING THE PARENTS: Keep your eyes on the prize: your girlfriend’s graduation. Remember that everyone is there to celebrate her. Get her parents talking when you are around them by asking them questions about what your girlfriend was like growing up or what they remember about her as a student and as a child. Whenever you are together, ask them to travel down memory lane. This will keep them in a positive state of mind and may distract them from whatever negative feelings they have about you. Stay positive, and remember that they are responsible for your girlfriend’s life. Be grateful for that, even if they are difficult.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in high school. My of my peers have started studying and taking the SAT and ACT exams. Most of my friends have already had numerous tutoring sessions, taken practice exams and attended prep classes. My parents did not attend college in the United States, so they are unaware of these standardized exams. I have been trying to explain to them that SAT and ACT preparation is not something we learn in school; therefore, I cannot seek help from teachers.

I want to join my friends in an SAT prep class, but my parents are hesitant to pay for it. How do I get my point across to them that I need some extra help when studying for these exams? -- Parents Hesitant to Help with SATs, Portland, Oregon

DEAR PARENTS HESITANT TO HELP WITH SATS: Your job is to educate your parents, just as you are being educated. Do some research on the positive effects of being tutored specifically for these standardized tests. By showing your parents the value of this coaching, you create space for them to support you.

Your parents came as far as bringing you to the U.S. for your higher education. You have to carry the baton the rest of the way. Your argument cannot be that all your friends are doing it. Instead, you can share facts you've researched about what scores are required for the colleges of your choice, what type of tester you tend to be, and the advantage that you believe taking such a course will give you.

Also, look into the cost of these test-prep courses. You can ask your teachers for guidance. Not all of the packages have the same price. Finally, if your parents do not agree to pay for the test, ask them to buy you a test-prep book, and you can study independently.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance is a recovering drug addict. When I say those words out loud, it still scares me, but he has been sober for more than two years now, and we have a great relationship.

The past couple of months, my boyfriend has been expressing to me that he wants to drink alcohol again. He never had a problem with alcohol, but when becoming sober, he cut out all toxic things in his life, including alcohol. He says he thinks he’s at a place in his life where he can control his drinking, and he wants to be able enjoy a glass of wine at dinner with me. I don’t have a problem with that, but it scares me that he may relapse with drugs if he starts drinking again. Do you think alcohol can be a “gateway drug” in the sense that it would open a door to my fiance using drugs again? -- Concerned About Fiance Relapsing, Atlanta

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT FIANCE RELAPSING: You should be concerned about your fiance possibly relapsing if he decides to drink alcohol. While you cannot control your boyfriend, you can recommend that he speak to an addiction counselor. If he has a sponsor from his drug addiction therapy, he should speak to that person about his thoughts.

You may want to curb your own drinking so that your boyfriend isn’t tempted to have a glass of wine with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in Boston with three other roommates in a great apartment in the middle of the city. My grandparents are coming into town next weekend from Ohio. I haven’t seen them in a couple of years, so I am excited. They have planned a dinner with my roommates and me one of nights they are here. The problem I am having is that my grandfather is old-fashioned in the sense he is extremely homophobic, and one of my roommates is gay.

I want my roommate to feel proud of who he is when introducing himself to my grandfather, and I don’t want him to feel hurt by whatever comments my grandfather may make at dinner. What do you think I should do about these two people attending a dinner together? -- Scared for the Meeting, Boston

DEAR SCARED FOR THE MEETING: The best thing you can do is to prep your roommate. Make sure he is aware of your grandfather’s views on homosexuality and that he often speaks his mind. Chances are, your roommate has had his share of people giving their opinions about his sexual orientation. That doesn’t mean he will like the way your grandfather may behave, but it does mean it will likely not be a shock to him. Be prepared that your roommate may choose not to attend the dinner, knowing that your grandfather may be rude to him.

Apologize in advance for any inappropriate comments that your grandfather may make. As far as your grandfather goes, ask him to be kind to your roommates. Tell him how much you enjoy sharing the apartment with them and that you are proud to invite him to get to know them. I wouldn’t tell him that one of your roommates is gay. Just encourage him to be kind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)