DEAR HARRIETTE: I found out that my mother-in-law spanked my child. I don't spank my children, and I don't believe in that type of discipline. I asked her to not hit my child, but she keeps finding other ways to discipline, like pinching or plucking his hands when he does something “bad.” I constantly tell her not to use corporal punishment on my son and have given her the ways we discipline him at home, but she thinks they aren't effective.

She is my son’s grandmother, so she thinks she has rights, but she must stop. I need her to respect me and the way I raise my child. How can I get my mother-in-law to stop hitting my child? -- Distressed Daughter-in-Law, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR DISTRESSED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW: It is essential that the ways in which you discipline your children remain consistent among anyone who is allowed to discipline them. Period. That goes for your mother-in-law.

Since your mother-in-law refuses to follow your rules, you may have to limit her interaction with your son. This may seem harsh, but it may be your ultimate recourse. Tell her that if she will not curb her disciplinary tactics, she will not be allowed to be with your son alone anymore. This will horrify her, perhaps enough to get her to stop. If she continues, you will need to follow through until she listens to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I want to move in together, and we both have been saving for a new apartment. We decided that we would save the first and last month's rent before we moved in. I have my portion ready, but he doesn’t. I don’t think he is taking moving in seriously because he has only half of the amount we agreed on. How can I encourage him to save more so we can move in sooner? -- Frustrated, Cincinnati

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Slow down. Moving in with anyone, including a boyfriend, is a huge commitment. Your boyfriend’s inability to have the financial resources required to move in could be a sign that he is not financially responsible or committed in the ways that you are. Consider this a red flag. Stop hounding him, and watch to see what he does. Yes, you want to take the next step in your life together, but you need to be on the same page. Being a quiet observer in this moment will allow you to witness how your boyfriend behaves when it’s time to make a decision.

You may want to give yourself a deadline after which you will speak up about the apartment again. If you need to move, you may also need to consider another roommate. What you should not do is let your boyfriend live with you rent-free. How you start your life together makes a huge difference as to how you design your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am dating someone new, and we have been out with my best friends on double dates in the past few weeks. After the first couple of dates, I asked him if he has been enjoying himself. He has consistently said yes and would be excited to do it again. However, last week he said that he doesn’t want to go out with them anymore. I was very confused because everyone, including my friends, enjoyed themselves. He said that he doesn’t like my friends and we cannot go out with them again.

My boyfriend and I are getting serious, but I love my friends. I think he is trying to make me choose between him and my friends. I don't want to do that. How do I choose -- or is choosing even an option? -- Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Randallstown, Maryland

DEAR BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: It is a bit early for either of you to be making ultimatums in your relationship, but it is noteworthy that your boyfriend is telling you that he doesn’t want to spend time with your friends anymore. Perhaps you have been going out with them too much? Sometimes that happens in relationships, especially if you were accustomed to going out with them a lot before you met this man.

Tell your boyfriend that you are OK going out with your best friends less often and spending more time with just the two of you or expanding your friend group and going out with his friends as well. Be clear, though, that you are unwilling to cut your best friends out of your life. They have been important to you for a long time. Do your best to find out what, specifically, he does not like about them. Until you understand his perspective, it will be impossible for you to resolve this situation.

As far as choice goes, your intention should be to choose to get to the bottom of the issue so that you can resolve it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working at a salon for two years, and I work closely with all the employees. However, one particular man has my eye. He has been working there as long as I have, and we have grown comfortable with each other. Occasionally, we have small talk and laugh together, but nothing more than that. I want to get know him better, but I don't know if I am his type, which makes me afraid to pursue anything more than a platonic work relationship. Should I try to step out and make the first move? -- I'm Crushing, Dallas

DEAR I’M CRUSHING: Why do you think you are not this man’s type? Do you have any intel on who he has dated before, or is this you doubting yourself? If you think it’s the latter, push past your personal insecurities. It is perfectly fine for you to invite this man for coffee or to take a walk during a break at work. The goal should be to be able to talk to each other freely, away from the salon. You can tell him you would like to get to know him better. If he agrees, you can proceed. If he is polite but begs off, you will not have revealed too much.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the breadwinner in my family. My husband is a stay-at-home dad. We decided this would be best for our family because we both wanted a parent to raise our kids, and my job paid more. Recently, my husband has seemed very self-conscious of the fact that he stays at home with our kids. Last week we were out at a dinner party and someone made a snarky comment, which is what I think set off this feeling. What is your take on the stay-at-home dad culture? -- Working Mom, Cincinnati

DEAR WORKING MOM: We live in a culture that still values the man of the house as the breadwinner, even though family structures vary widely. What is important for you and your husband is to be on the same page about how you are caring for your family. There will always be that snarky person who tries to put you or your husband down for your choices. Learn to brush that off.

Celebrate your husband for what he does to guide your children. This is important for you to remember, because whoever stays at home usually receives few acknowledgments of the hard work that they put in each day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate how I look. I have never been confident in my figure. My friends believe I have body dysmorphia, and they are always complimenting me on how great I look. I need some advice and help on how I can accept my body. I want to be at peace with how I look and not constantly be worried about my appearance. -- Body Dysmorphic Attitude, Los Angeles

DEAR BODY DYSMORPHIC ATTITUDE: We are plagued by body image questions. Just look at the ads that fill magazines, billboards and TV commercials. There are more products designed to improve your looks than you could ever buy. It is no wonder that you question your body. The fact that you live in LA only exacerbates an already overly sensitized subject.

Since your friends seem to be seeing someone different from the person you see in the mirror, there is a chance that your perceptions are off and you do have body dysmorphia.

Start by getting a complete physical where you learn if you have any health issues that need to be addressed. Be sure to tell your doctor about your body-image concerns. Ask for a referral to a psychologist. Talking to a professional about your feelings about yourself will help you to come to terms with the truth about your body. If you need help, a professional will be able to guide your steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)