DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a teacher in a Philadelphia public school. Next week is spring break for the students and teachers, meaning we get two weeks off from classes! My boyfriend and I have planned a fun trip down to Florida together for one of the weeks. We've already booked our flights, hotel and some activities.

Last night, my older sister and her husband were over for dinner and asked us what we’re doing for the break. The way they were asking made it seem like they already knew, and were just looking for an invitation to come with us! I love spending time with my sister and brother-in-law, and the four of us get along well, but I was hoping this trip would be just my boyfriend and me.

Do you think I should address my sister’s comments? How do I tell her nicely that I don’t want her and her husband coming to Florida with us? -- No Invite for Sis, Denver

DEAR NO INVITE FOR SIS: You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to follow through on your plans. You do need to manage your sister’s expectations, though. Speak to her privately and tell her that you have been planning this special trip for you and your boyfriend for some time now, and you want it to be a romantic trip for two. As much as you enjoy spending time as a foursome, this is not the moment for that. Ask her to be understanding, and suggest that the four of you plan a trip together for another time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to you to ask you about my hair. I am currently deciding if I should completely change my look and get a short haircut. For my entire life I have had long blond hair that everyone seems to compliment me on. Recently, I have been thinking about changing my wardrobe and look altogether, including chopping off a lot of my hair!

Is there a good time to reinvent your look? Have you ever heard any horror stories of someone doing this? -- Ready for an Update, Milwaukee

DEAR READY FOR AN UPDATE: Making a dramatic style change is your prerogative and something that many people do. Since you can grow your hair long, you shouldn’t fret too much if you decide to cut it short. If you don't like it, you can grow it back!

I recommend that you look at some magazines for hairstyles and wardrobe options to see what you gravitate toward. Since you will be investing in a new wardrobe, too, you want to select a new look that complements the way you feel about yourself and your responsibilities. The horror stories come when people don’t think a style change all the way through. Consider your daily life, your activities and duties. Make sure you pick a style that will support your every move.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a call out of the blue from my ex-boyfriend's most recent ex-girlfriend. I loved this man for many years, and he turned out to be a heartbreaker. We broke up eventually because it was too hard for me to be with him and know that there were other women lurking in the wings. It was too bad because he has lots of wonderful characteristics, but being faithful isn't one of them. He and I have remained friends. The only downside to that is what just happened. He gives his exes my number to talk to me when things go south. I don’t want to get involved in his messy love life. What should I do when I receive these calls? I feel bad not answering, because usually the woman is distraught. -- Drawing the Line, Milwaukee

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You need to re-evaluate whether your friendship with this man is worth it. It sounds like he is sending his “roadkill” to you to clean up. What kind of a friend does that? Based on what you have described, he is manipulating you, his former girlfriend, to manage his continued bad behavior. You need to tell him to stop making you the go-between for his foibles. He needs to be responsible for his behavior, not pawn it off on you.

Further, you need to have a serious talk with him about why he continues to be unthoughtful and cruel to the women he dates. What is that? And seriously, ask yourself why you continue to stick around.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is suffering from a degenerative eye disease. Recently, her sight has diminished even more, and she is scared. I had told her before about things to do to prepare for potential blindness, which I had learned from a friend whose mother lived alone even though she was blind for nearly 20 years. My mother didn’t want to talk about it then. I want to recommend that she talk to the American Foundation for the Blind to learn strategies for remaining independent as she loses her sight. So far she is afraid to consider it. How can I help her? -- Mom Is Going Blind, San Jose, California

DEAR MOM IS GOING BLIND: You can do your own research to discover ways that your mother can support herself and share your findings with her. Researching the American Foundation for the Blind at afb.org is a great idea. You can also take her to the local Foundation for the Blind and have her talk to someone about her condition and her fears.

Determine whether she will be able to live alone and what support she will need. Talk to her insurance company to see how much financial support you can expect. Your mother’s life is changing dramatically. Together you will need to determine how to care for her as her condition worsens.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is a car slob. Even though she has her own car, she likes to borrow my car for a few days or weeks. Every time I get it back, it is a complete wreck: empty food containers on the floor, makeup smudges on the seat and steering wheel and coffee cups in the cup holders. She loves driving my car, but it bothers me that she doesn't have the respect to keep it clean. I want to tell her to stop driving my car or clean it up after she uses it, but I'm afraid it will hurt her feelings. How do I tell her? -- Stop Trashing My Car, Denver

DEAR STOP TRASHING MY CAR: It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect that you will receive your car back from your wife -- or anybody else -- in the same condition in which it was lent. If your wife has been doing this same thing for years, you have the added burden of having allowed her to trash your car for a long time without consequence. Still, you can put your foot down. Calmly tell her that you are frustrated because of the way she uses your car. Remind her that you keep your car clean, so it is difficult for you to let her use it and get it back a mess. Acknowledge that this isn’t new, but make it clear that you have had enough. Give her an ultimatum: If she cannot figure out how to keep your car clean, she will have to use her car and give you back your keys.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors moved in about six months ago, and they have a small dog. He is supposed to have an electric fence that prevents him from leaving their property, but he has gotten out because of battery failure many times and has left “gifts” on our porch. My neighbors are kind and respectful, but their dog is out of control. I’ve seen him destroy the trash on garbage days, and I’ve even seen him hanging from the trash can. How should I tell them to control their dog? -- Curb Your Dog, Stone Mountain, Georgia

DEAR CURB YOUR DOG: Speak up. Give your neighbors a list of things that their dog has done -- from defecating on your porch to potentially endangering itself by hanging onto trash cans. Ask your neighbors to check the electric fence for battery life more regularly. Suggest that they put the dog on a leash if the electric fence isn’t working. Tell them that as much as you are pleased that they have joined your community, you need them to figure out how to control their dog.

You may need to start taking photos or short videos catching their dog in the act so that the owners can see for themselves what havoc their dog is wreaking. Hold your ground when you ask them to figure out a way for the undisciplined dog to be contained.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)