DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a call out of the blue from my ex-boyfriend's most recent ex-girlfriend. I loved this man for many years, and he turned out to be a heartbreaker. We broke up eventually because it was too hard for me to be with him and know that there were other women lurking in the wings. It was too bad because he has lots of wonderful characteristics, but being faithful isn't one of them. He and I have remained friends. The only downside to that is what just happened. He gives his exes my number to talk to me when things go south. I don’t want to get involved in his messy love life. What should I do when I receive these calls? I feel bad not answering, because usually the woman is distraught. -- Drawing the Line, Milwaukee

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You need to re-evaluate whether your friendship with this man is worth it. It sounds like he is sending his “roadkill” to you to clean up. What kind of a friend does that? Based on what you have described, he is manipulating you, his former girlfriend, to manage his continued bad behavior. You need to tell him to stop making you the go-between for his foibles. He needs to be responsible for his behavior, not pawn it off on you.

Further, you need to have a serious talk with him about why he continues to be unthoughtful and cruel to the women he dates. What is that? And seriously, ask yourself why you continue to stick around.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is suffering from a degenerative eye disease. Recently, her sight has diminished even more, and she is scared. I had told her before about things to do to prepare for potential blindness, which I had learned from a friend whose mother lived alone even though she was blind for nearly 20 years. My mother didn’t want to talk about it then. I want to recommend that she talk to the American Foundation for the Blind to learn strategies for remaining independent as she loses her sight. So far she is afraid to consider it. How can I help her? -- Mom Is Going Blind, San Jose, California

DEAR MOM IS GOING BLIND: You can do your own research to discover ways that your mother can support herself and share your findings with her. Researching the American Foundation for the Blind at afb.org is a great idea. You can also take her to the local Foundation for the Blind and have her talk to someone about her condition and her fears.

Determine whether she will be able to live alone and what support she will need. Talk to her insurance company to see how much financial support you can expect. Your mother’s life is changing dramatically. Together you will need to determine how to care for her as her condition worsens.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is a car slob. Even though she has her own car, she likes to borrow my car for a few days or weeks. Every time I get it back, it is a complete wreck: empty food containers on the floor, makeup smudges on the seat and steering wheel and coffee cups in the cup holders. She loves driving my car, but it bothers me that she doesn't have the respect to keep it clean. I want to tell her to stop driving my car or clean it up after she uses it, but I'm afraid it will hurt her feelings. How do I tell her? -- Stop Trashing My Car, Denver

DEAR STOP TRASHING MY CAR: It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect that you will receive your car back from your wife -- or anybody else -- in the same condition in which it was lent. If your wife has been doing this same thing for years, you have the added burden of having allowed her to trash your car for a long time without consequence. Still, you can put your foot down. Calmly tell her that you are frustrated because of the way she uses your car. Remind her that you keep your car clean, so it is difficult for you to let her use it and get it back a mess. Acknowledge that this isn’t new, but make it clear that you have had enough. Give her an ultimatum: If she cannot figure out how to keep your car clean, she will have to use her car and give you back your keys.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors moved in about six months ago, and they have a small dog. He is supposed to have an electric fence that prevents him from leaving their property, but he has gotten out because of battery failure many times and has left “gifts” on our porch. My neighbors are kind and respectful, but their dog is out of control. I’ve seen him destroy the trash on garbage days, and I’ve even seen him hanging from the trash can. How should I tell them to control their dog? -- Curb Your Dog, Stone Mountain, Georgia

DEAR CURB YOUR DOG: Speak up. Give your neighbors a list of things that their dog has done -- from defecating on your porch to potentially endangering itself by hanging onto trash cans. Ask your neighbors to check the electric fence for battery life more regularly. Suggest that they put the dog on a leash if the electric fence isn’t working. Tell them that as much as you are pleased that they have joined your community, you need them to figure out how to control their dog.

You may need to start taking photos or short videos catching their dog in the act so that the owners can see for themselves what havoc their dog is wreaking. Hold your ground when you ask them to figure out a way for the undisciplined dog to be contained.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently offered a job in New York City, where I live. It is a position at a very cool startup with young people like me. My partner, who lives and works in Austin, Texas, has just asked me to move in with him. I am having trouble deciding which path I should choose. On one hand, I would enjoy working for the startup, but I would hate being apart from my partner. On the other hand, if I moved to Austin, I would be happy living with him, but might not find a great job right away. Should love trump a career, or vice versa? -- Fork in the Road, New York City

DEAR FORK IN THE ROAD: Have you and your partner talked about long-term plans? You should consider moving to Austin based on what the two of you want for your life together. While you may not be ready to say you are ready for marriage, you should have some sense of shared goals before you make such a move. Further, many committed couples agree to long-distance relationships as they each build their careers. Is that easy? No, but it affords each of you time to pursue your work.

Shy of the long-distance route, you may want to apply to a few companies in Austin and see if you can find a job that will satisfy you. Don’t turn down the New York City job until you have fully thought the whole situation through and discussed it with your partner.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a dancer my whole life. My parents signed me up for dance classes when I was a little girl, and it stuck with me through high school, as I am part of a private dance company. I love the feeling I get when I dance, and I can’t picture my life without it.

I am about to graduate from high school and go to college. Right now, I’m not sure I want to join my college’s dance team. From what I have been told about the team, it is a huge time commitment. How can I continue my passion for dancing without it taking up all my time? -- Dance Team Commitment, Atlanta

DEAR DANCE TEAM COMMITMENT: Since you love dance so much, why not try the college dance team and see how it goes? You may find that it provides much-needed balance in your life, even if it is demanding. If it becomes too much, you can always drop it. Alternatively, sign up for dance classes that will keep you in the flow without having to commit to all of the team activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)