DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is a car slob. Even though she has her own car, she likes to borrow my car for a few days or weeks. Every time I get it back, it is a complete wreck: empty food containers on the floor, makeup smudges on the seat and steering wheel and coffee cups in the cup holders. She loves driving my car, but it bothers me that she doesn't have the respect to keep it clean. I want to tell her to stop driving my car or clean it up after she uses it, but I'm afraid it will hurt her feelings. How do I tell her? -- Stop Trashing My Car, Denver
DEAR STOP TRASHING MY CAR: It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect that you will receive your car back from your wife -- or anybody else -- in the same condition in which it was lent. If your wife has been doing this same thing for years, you have the added burden of having allowed her to trash your car for a long time without consequence. Still, you can put your foot down. Calmly tell her that you are frustrated because of the way she uses your car. Remind her that you keep your car clean, so it is difficult for you to let her use it and get it back a mess. Acknowledge that this isn’t new, but make it clear that you have had enough. Give her an ultimatum: If she cannot figure out how to keep your car clean, she will have to use her car and give you back your keys.