life

Reader Must Decide Which Path to Take

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 19th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently offered a job in New York City, where I live. It is a position at a very cool startup with young people like me. My partner, who lives and works in Austin, Texas, has just asked me to move in with him. I am having trouble deciding which path I should choose. On one hand, I would enjoy working for the startup, but I would hate being apart from my partner. On the other hand, if I moved to Austin, I would be happy living with him, but might not find a great job right away. Should love trump a career, or vice versa? -- Fork in the Road, New York City

DEAR FORK IN THE ROAD: Have you and your partner talked about long-term plans? You should consider moving to Austin based on what the two of you want for your life together. While you may not be ready to say you are ready for marriage, you should have some sense of shared goals before you make such a move. Further, many committed couples agree to long-distance relationships as they each build their careers. Is that easy? No, but it affords each of you time to pursue your work.

Shy of the long-distance route, you may want to apply to a few companies in Austin and see if you can find a job that will satisfy you. Don’t turn down the New York City job until you have fully thought the whole situation through and discussed it with your partner.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for April 19, 2018

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 19th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a dancer my whole life. My parents signed me up for dance classes when I was a little girl, and it stuck with me through high school, as I am part of a private dance company. I love the feeling I get when I dance, and I can’t picture my life without it.

I am about to graduate from high school and go to college. Right now, I’m not sure I want to join my college’s dance team. From what I have been told about the team, it is a huge time commitment. How can I continue my passion for dancing without it taking up all my time? -- Dance Team Commitment, Atlanta

DEAR DANCE TEAM COMMITMENT: Since you love dance so much, why not try the college dance team and see how it goes? You may find that it provides much-needed balance in your life, even if it is demanding. If it becomes too much, you can always drop it. Alternatively, sign up for dance classes that will keep you in the flow without having to commit to all of the team activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Seasonal Affective Disorder Touches Whole Family

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 18th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is basically a state of depression that comes as a result of the seasons. She gets down during the winter months, when there is less sun and more dark days, and is happier during the summertime. To alleviate some of the problems, whenever we go on family vacations we always go somewhere warm and sunny -- which isn’t so bad, if you ask me.

I am afraid I may be suffering from SAD, too. Do you know anything about depression or mental health disorders? Are family health issues often passed down? -- SAD Woman, Baltimore

DEAR SAD WOMAN: I have heard of this disorder and know that some people are more irritable when the weather is cold and wet. If you feel like your mood swings are debilitating or more pronounced when the weather is extreme, it is worth it for you to visit a doctor to discuss your options. Get a medical evaluation and learn what you can do to support yourself.

As far as family issues being passed down genetically, it certainly can happen. Not being a doctor, I do not know about this particular condition. I highly recommend that you consult a medical professional to learn what’s going on with you and to get coping skills to help you through tough times.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for April 18, 2018

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 18th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got fired from my job at an investment banking firm two months ago. I am now at a point where I am desperate to earn money. My father has offered me a position in the company he owns. Everything in my body is telling me not to accept the offer, but I need the money to pay my bills, rent, etc. Do you think I should swallow my pride and work for my father or keep searching for another job in the hopes of something coming up soon? -- Should I Work for Dad?, Cincinnati

DEAR SHOULD I WORK FOR DAD?: Why are you hesitant to work for your father? What challenges do you anticipate? I ask because on the surface, it seems like a gift that your father is offering you. You are out of work and need money, and he is throwing you a lifeline.

If you don’t want to work for your father in the long term, talk to him about your goals. Commit to a particular length of time, and do your best during that period. Continue to look for work, but be sure not to abuse the privilege -- look in your spare time, not on the job. Do your best at your father’s company so that you can receive an honest recommendation when you leave. Listen to his advice even as you stay focused on what you want for yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Student Needs Advice About Post-Grad Plans

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 17th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student and a part-time personal assistant for a couple. The couple I work for have offered me a full-time position as their personal assistant upon graduation. I enjoy working for them and the money is great, but I don’t see this as a career; it's more of a temporary job.

I graduate in May and need some help deciding what the next step should be. Do I continue working with the couple and earn enough money to support myself, or branch out with my college degree? -- Personal Assistant Looking to Leave, Chicago

DEAR PERSONAL ASSISTANT LOOKING TO LEAVE: Take some time to think about what you want to do in your career. Plot out a course with a timeline. Look for job opportunities in your area of interest, and interview for as many of them as you can. This is how you will know if you can find a job right away in your field. If you cannot find exactly what you want, consider volunteering part-time at a company that does what you are interested in. You can then ask your current employers if they would be willing to keep you on as a part-time employee. Explain that you enjoy working for them, but you need to stay true to your long-term dreams. Your solution enables you to keep working with them and cultivate your career goals.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for April 17, 2018

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | April 17th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some help on time management. I am a paralegal at a law firm, and I work a lot of overtime hours and sometimes on weekends. I have started to study for the LSAT, which is the exam required to get into law school. I’m not sure how I am going to juggle working and studying. They are both very important to me, and I want to be able to manage both tasks. Do you have any tips for a busy person like me on how to allocate time effectively? -- Juggling Future Lawyer, Philadelphia

DEAR JUGGLING FUTURE LAWYER: It’s time to talk to your boss. Let your company know that you are about to take the LSAT and need to carve out time to study. Ask for support during this critical time. Point out that you know how busy the firm is and you want to carry your own weight, but realistically, you need to devote a significant amount of time to your studies in order to get to the next step. You may run into some resistance, especially if you are an effective paralegal in a busy law office. Stand your ground. Make it clear that you absolutely must reduce your hours for a specific period so that you can get into law school.

If your manager isn’t listening to you, look around for a mentor. You can even go to HR to plead your case. Be sure to tell your story from the perspective of how you will better be able to support the firm as you build your skills. Of course this is for you, but it will also benefit them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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