DEAR HARRIETTE: I have agreed to nanny for a family for the month of July this summer. Baby-sitting for one day is a lot of work mentally and physically, so I can’t imagine how tired I will be after a month of working with the kids.

I have already agreed to work for the month, but I have been thinking about speaking with the parents to ask for a couple of nights off. I think if I get one night off a week (so four nights during the month), it would be less draining. How do you think I should approach this? Is one night off a week the right amount? -- Overworked Nanny, Boston

DEAR OVERWORKED NANNY: It is perfectly fine for you to ask to revisit your agreement for the month of July. You have far more leverage now, before the work begins, to discuss your request and figure out a solution with the family. If they value you and the way that you interact with their children, they should be amenable to supporting your needs.

Be firm and clear. Let them know how much you enjoy working with their children, even if it is taxing. In order to be your best, you need one night a week to yourself. You should also review your general free time during the month. Are you literally on call 24 hours a day? If so, are you paid for those hours? Going from baby-sitting for a few hours a day to a month of overnighters is a completely different scenario. Make sure you are being fairly compensated for the many additional hours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I fly quite frequently, so I have seen it all when it comes to airport dramas. I have witnessed everything from fights with flight attendants to grown men getting motion sickness on the plane. What is your opinion on proper airplane etiquette, specifically while on the plane? What do you think about people taking off their shoes on the plane? The person next to you using the arm rest for the duration of the flight? Should people be allowed to push past you in the aisle once the plane lands? If there are any other do’s and don’ts of airline etiquette, I would love to know! -- Flyer Etiquette, Dallas

DEAR FLYER ETIQUETTE: Ah, there should be a book about airplane etiquette -- if there isn’t one already! It used to be that people dressed up in their Sunday best before heading to the airport. The idea was that this was a special outing, and everyone should be on their best behavior.

Today, people are commonly impatient and oblivious to their neighbors. What should you do? Use common sense. It is OK to take off your shoes, as feet often swell on planes. But make sure your socks are clean and that you don’t have foot odor before you do this. Share the arm rest. If possible, use one and leave the other for the person sitting next to you. Before the plane lands, check to see that your personal belongings are in order. When it lands, wait to move through the aisles to retrieve your stowed bags. If you have to get to a connecting flight, let people know and ask to move ahead of passengers who are disembarking. Finally, be willing to change seats if a parent and child need to sit together. Readers, do you have any other advice?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that the big brother of one of my childhood friends passed away. I remember seeing him last year when I was visiting home. On one hand, he looked the same, wearing the bright smile that was his signature. On the other, he looked weak. I didn’t think much of it, as I hadn’t seen him in more than 25 years.

I feel bad now that I didn’t reach out to his sister to check to see how things were going. She and I see each other only occasionally. As close as we were as kids, time has created distance between us. We still like each other, though. She was the one who told me about his passing. What can I do to express my sorrow appropriately? -- Now He's Gone, Baltimore

DEAR NOW HE’S GONE: Stay in the moment. No need to dredge up the years that have passed or what you observed about her brother’s fragility when you do talk to your friend. Instead, focus on the positive memories. Tell stories that reflect what you recall about him and his relationship with his sister. Ask her if you can do anything to support her during this time.

Make this a moment of reconnection. I’m sure she can use a friend right now. Death can have a positive impact in people’s lives as it often brings friends back together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a man in my 70s. I have seven grandchildren who all live close by, so I get to see them frequently. The summer is coming up, and my children rented a lake house that we will all visit.

One thing has been bothering me recently: I never learned to swim when I was younger, and haven't bothered to get lessons since, because I’m never in the position where I need to swim. That is, up until now. I want to be able to go in the lake this summer with my grandchildren. Is it too late to learn how to swim? I feel embarrassed about it. -- Grandpa Can't Swim, Boston

DEAR GRANDPA CAN’T SWIM: It’s not too late to get a swim teacher and solidify the basics for the summer so that you feel comfortable and confident in the water. Go for that. It is smart for you and your family.

Beyond that, know that you can cheer on your grandchildren with all the enthusiasm in the world by standing on the edge of the pool or on the shore and taking great photos and videos.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up as a Roman Catholic. I went to a private Catholic elementary school and to church with my family almost every Sunday. As we got older, we became less religious. There was no specific reason for this; it just happened.

Now that I am older and living on my own, I am debating if I should start going to church again. I am at a point in my life where I could use a higher power watching over me, and I think going to a church service now and again may help me. What are your thoughts on re-entering a religion, or in my case, starting to practice the religion again? -- Choosing Faith

DEAR CHOOSING FAITH: After a person enters adulthood, there comes a time when you have to choose for yourself what your religious practice will be -- if anything. What you were taught as a child supported you for a particular period, but now it’s on you. It sounds like you see the benefit of reconnecting to a Catholic community. What you may want to consider is visiting a few different churches to see which feels the most comfortable. When you think of establishing a new church home, you should pay attention to who attends and if you can see yourself planting roots there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a grandmother to five grandkids. I live close to them, so I get to see them quite often, which I love. As I get older, I am thinking about what I will leave them with when I pass away. I don’t want to seem morbid or that I'm talking about the tragedy of death, but I do want to see what your take is on leaving this world with a great legacy. I want my grandkids to appreciate everything they have in life, work hard, and not take anything for granted. I hope my sons -- their parents -- have taught them well, but I want to make sure I leave them with some words of wisdom. Did you have a good relationship with your grandparents? What is the one thing you are grateful for that your grandparents gave you? -- Grandma's Legacy, Detroit

DEAR GRANDMA’S LEGACY: It’s wonderful that you are thinking ahead about what you want your grandchildren to remember about you to enhance their lives.

I was very close to my maternal grandmother. More than the things that she gave me, I appreciated her wisdom. When she was in her 80s, she would sit cross-legged on the floor and play jacks with me. She had so much energy and love for me; I appreciated that then and now.

My grandmother was a domestic worker, and I remember one time scolding her and telling her to stop working. My family could take care of her, and she was already old. I said some mean things about her employer. She looked me in the eye and said, “Don’t worry about me. I love my work, and I love the people I work for. When it comes time for you to work, you must love what you do and the people you work with.” I never forgot that.

I recommend that you write notes to your grandchildren sharing your wisdom and specific guidance for each one of them. They will treasure those notes. Beyond that, show them how to live by your actions and the way you engage them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)