DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker makes me feel uncomfortable. I work in a casual environment, and it’s a small business, so everyone knows one another well. A co-worker I interact with weekly has been getting too close for comfort. Recently, we had a lunch meeting, and as we were walking he touched the small of my back while walking through a crowd. It was awkward and unexpected. Since that lunch meeting, he gets close during conversations and touches my arm. If we're sitting down, he will touch my leg. He hasn't done anything else, but I don't want his actions to get worse. Should I confront him before I talk to HR? -- Uncomfortable, Dundalk, Maryland

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Before he does anything else, ask him if you can talk to him about something. Tell him that you do not appreciate the fact that he has been touching you so much. Ask him to stop. Tell him that if he touches you again, you will report him to HR.

If you have a boss separate from HR, you may want to say something to him or her to make it known that you are being harassed by this man. Tread carefully, though. Even in 2018, employees often find it difficult to file claims of sexual harassment and continue to rise in their companies.

Pay close attention to what this man does. If he gets out of hand, you may want to engage outside counsel to help you navigate this situation. If you want to seek legal counsel, learn more at timesupnow.com.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my job, I interact with a lot of customers and often must make small talk. However, one customer comes in and stays a little longer than my liking. He is very kind and polite, but he has been distracting me from my duties. Because he is a customer, I can’t ignore him, but I have to take care of other customers as well.

He has hinted at us going out on a date, but I don’t respond, hoping he won’t ask again. Every week he asks me out, and I ignore him. The last couple of times he has asked, I said, “No, thank you” or “I’m not interested.” He still asks, and it’s getting frustrating that he isn’t listening. How do I make it clear to him that I’m not interested so he’ll stop asking me out? -- He Doesn't Understand "No," Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND “NO”: First, report what is happening to your boss so that you have support when you tell this man that he is making you feel uncomfortable by constantly asking you out. Even though he is a customer, he doesn’t have the right to badger you. Ask your boss to intervene if he refuses to back off. Ultimately, you will probably need your boss’ support in order to get this man to stand down.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As so many Me Too stories are coming to light, I have remembered what happened to me at my job years ago. When a superior tried to force me to be intimate with him, I told my boss -- each time. I didn’t get much help, though. In the end, I avoided him until I stopped working there.

Now that people are talking about their experiences, I want to add my voice to the conversation. This man is retired now, but I know how to reach him. Do you think I should write him a letter or contact him in any way to tell him how much he violated me back in the day? I am not interested in money or anything. -- Me Too, Baltimore

DEAR ME TOO: It is true that this movement to hold (primarily) men accountable for sexual misconduct has reached a loud roar in our culture. As a result, many people are remembering and speaking up. It is good for you to get it out so that you can purge yourself from this bad experience.

Approaching the man who violated you is tricky. You must figure out what you want out of it. If speaking about what happened to you is enough, send the letter. It is unlikely that he will respond. If you can find his phone number, you may get more satisfaction from saying it to him and hearing any reaction he may have. Sadly, many men who engage in this behavior never admit their sins.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dating a woman for about a year and a half. I like her enough to marry her, and I have told her as much. We are both in our 40s. That’s why I don’t like playing games. She, however, has been doing some things that bother me. For example, she never identifies herself as being in a relationship on social media, even though she posts regularly, often with sexy pictures of herself. I’m not trying to control her or anything, but it seems weird to me that she says we are close and that she wants to be committed to me, but the commitment is never public in the social media stratosphere. I feel funny about that. I don’t want a wife in private who acts like she's single in public. What can I do? -- Claiming My Lady, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR CLAIMING MY LADY: When you consider marrying someone, you need to figure out if this person is compatible with you and if she shares your values. A shared life has many twists and turns, but if you don’t start out on the same page, it will be very difficult to find comfort together down the line.

The new frontier of social media is alluring to some people and distressing to others. Some use it as a place to play out their alter ego’s fantasies. If that is what your girlfriend is doing, you have a problem, especially if she is not including you in that fantasy. Talk with her about your concerns. Ask her to explain why she is making these choices and what she wants for the future. Tell her that if you two plan to marry, you think it’s important that you agree on many things, including social media use.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I never catch a break. I have a low-paying job, debt from school loans and bad choices, and a car that is cutting out on me. I could keep going, but it gets depressing just thinking about it. I have cut back my expenses dramatically since I have had this job, but I can’t seem to get out of the hole. Just trying to pay minimums on my credit cards is close to impossible.

I have a girlfriend, and I can hardly take her out on dates. I know I got myself into this situation, but it makes me so sad. I feel like if I don’t get it together, she is going to leave me. I try to put on a good face, but who am I fooling? I am tired of pretending like it’s getting better when it isn’t. I don’t have the skills to get a better-paying job right now. What can I do to turn the corner? -- Drowning in Debt, Denver

DEAR DROWNING IN DEBT: You have taken the first step by admitting your problem. The next step is taking action. You can get support to help figure out a path to financial freedom by engaging a credit counseling service. Often, it will look at your finances and recommend debt consolidation that it negotiates on your behalf to drive down interest rates. The challenge with this is that your credit will be frozen during the period that you are paying down your debt. The good news is that when it’s finished, you will be able to rebuild your credit starting with a clean credit history. To learn more, go to advantageccs.org/services/online-credit-counseling.

One other thing you can consider is to get a second, part-time job to supplement your income. Many people work two jobs to make ends meet. You will have to deal with time management challenges, but you can figure that out, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In a recent column, you advised a woman with a drug-addict boyfriend to attend Al-Anon, which you said was for people with a relationship with an alcoholic and/or drug addict. It is not. It is for families and friends of alcoholics. For families and friends of drug addicts, there is Nar-Anon; for drug addicts, there is Narcotics Anonymous. -- Clarification, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR CLARIFICATION: Thank you for letting us know about the support groups available for drug addicts and families and friends of drug addicts. I do know that in some instances, Al-Anon has helped people whose loved ones were drug addicts, but I believe it may have been because they were alcoholics, too. Nonetheless, it is helpful to be specific in directing folks to resources that can help them. I appreciate your writing in.

For anyone who is suffering from substance abuse, I urge you to get help. You do not have to travel this journey alone. Same goes for families who are struggling with loved ones who can’t seem to get clean. Being isolated can be disabling. Get help. You deserve it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)