DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the mother of two boys, ages 17 and 13, and I am afraid that my younger son is following in his older brother’s footsteps. My eldest started to rebel in school and at home about a year ago. It began with him not doing his homework and being late for school, and now he skips class entirely. I recently found out that he has been taking drugs and hangs out on the bad side of town. I decided to send him to my sister’s over summer break to see if getting out of the city will help.

Yesterday, my younger son came home hiding his report card. Once he gave it to me, I saw that he has been absent from a lot of his classes and is receiving much lower grades than usual. I’m scared that this is the start of a downward spiral, similar to what his older brother went through. What do you think I should do? -- Mother of Teenage Rebels, Dallas

DEAR MOTHER OF TEENAGE REBELS: Call a family meeting and ask your boys what is going on. Tell them what you have observed and what your specific concerns are. Outline what happens to people who fall into bad behavior and poor study habits. You can look up stats if you want to scare them all the way. Remind them of the dreams you had for them as children and what it takes to make those dreams come true. Ask them why they have been delinquent at school.

Talk to the teachers and school administration to find out everything you can about your boys. Your job is to inspire them to take positive steps in their lives. Figure out things for them to do that occupy their time. This could include the Boys and Girls Club, Boy Scouts, church groups or other organized group activities. Don’t give up!

DEAR HARRIETTE: After graduating from high school, I lived by myself in apartments for 25 years, and I was fine being alone in my 20s and 30s. My mother died 15 years ago, and it was just my stepdad and me. I have now come to the scary realization that if my stepdad should pass before me, I will be all alone. I was never close to my mom’s family, so my stepdad is my only family.

With the realization of having no family when he’s gone and being alone in a house or apartment, I have been having panic attacks and sleeping poorly. I have tried reading inspirational books to help me, but it’s just so overwhelming to me to think about it. If I could go back in time, I would have saved money to move to a bigger city and gotten more involved in things. What can I do to make myself feel better? -- Having Panic Attacks, Frederick, Maryland

DEAR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS: Rather than panicking, it is time for you to start building your independent life. What are your hobbies? Start going to public events that pique your interest. Participate in community activities. Consider getting support from a therapist to help you face your future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is a recovering drug addict. About a year ago, he was in a bad place in his life and was in a downward spiral. He got his act together and has now been sober for a year. I am proud of how far he has come and all the changes he has made, but I fear that one day he won’t be able maintain his sobriety.

I have always heard the saying “Once an addict, always an addict,” meaning a person never really gets rid of that addictive aspect their personality. I am afraid that one day down the road, his drug problem will come back and come between us again. Do you think this is an irrational fear? Should I focus on the here and now instead of worrying about the future? -- Questioning Girlfriend, Cincinnati

DEAR QUESTIONING GIRLFRIEND: You cannot predict the future, though it is true that many drug addicts slip. Worrying about that is a futile cause, though. You can talk to your boyfriend about the future. Get a sense from him of what his hopes are for himself and for the two of you. Share your feelings and desires as well. Reveal your concerns about his sobriety.

You should consider going to Al-Anon meetings. These are support groups for people who are in relationships with alcoholics and/or drug addicts. In these meetings, you learn how to cope with your feelings and the way in which your partner’s behavior affects you. You need support independent of your boyfriend so that you learn coping techniques. This will help you to figure out if you can go the distance with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is in a band that travels around to perform at different events such as weddings and corporate functions. I am proud of him for pursuing his passion and being so dedicated to his band. I was lucky enough to attend a couple of the events in New York, where we live.

Next month, my boyfriend has an event in Colorado. He and the rest of the band members have rented a big house and are going to make a weekend out of the gig. I would like to go, but I'm not sure how to bring it up with my boyfriend. Am I overstepping my boundaries or crowding his space if I ask to go to Colorado? -- Band Groupie Girlfriend, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR BAND GROUPIE GIRLFRIEND: I don’t think you should ask to go on the Colorado trip. Your boyfriend is finding his way with his band and deserves space to figure it out. If he invites you to attend the concert, that’s fine. But if he does not, try not to be jealous. Instead, be happy for him that his band is picking up more work and finding its way. If your boyfriend begins to travel a lot with the band, you can tell him that you would like to join them from time to time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away seven years ago. After he died, my mother came to live with my family and me. Because my children have essentially grown up with her living with them since they were babies, their relationship is nothing less than amazing. My kids look to her for advice and support, and they love her dearly. Unfortunately, last year my mother was diagnosed with dementia, and in the past few months it has become progressively worse.

With my husband and me working full-time jobs and the kids in school, we have reached a place where we are unable to give her the care that she needs. I have made the decision to move her into a nursing home; however, I am so scared to tell my kids. They are still relatively young and have not dealt with her dementia diagnosis very well. They feel that if we send her to a nursing home, we are “giving up on her.” How do I get my kids to understand that in order to help her, we need to move her? I am worried that her daily absence will hurt my kids. -- Dementia in the Family, Baltimore

DEAR DEMENTIA IN THE FAMILY: You have to control the narrative. Explain to your children and your mother that it is time for her to live in a place that offers more support and that you will see her frequently. Do your best to establish a regular visitation schedule. Perhaps every Saturday or Sunday, you and the children can go to visit your mother. Bring her to your home for a family meal on the weekends. This consistency should help everyone. You will also need to talk to your children about the inevitable memory loss that is affecting your mother. Do not scare them, but let them know that your mother may be forgetful sometimes. Make sure they know that this doesn’t mean she has stopped loving them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been overweight, but I have also never been happy with how I look. When I was a child, I played sports regularly and ate well. In college, I loved taking different workout classes and trying new diets, which is why my weight fluctuated a little bit. Now I work a 9-to-5 job and rarely get to work out. I usually eat pretty healthy, unless I am tempted to pick up a burger on the way home or order something extravagant at a restaurant.

I want to get back into a good workout regimen, but I’m not sure where to start. Do you think it’s easier to work out with a friend? Work out in the mornings or evenings? I want to get into a schedule so I can stay on top of my weight. -- When to Work Out, Seattle

DEAR WHEN TO WORK OUT: Having a buddy can be helpful to jump-start your workout regimen. What’s most important, though, is building fitness into your schedule. See if you can get up an hour earlier and go to a local gym. Conversely, you can work out immediately after work. Pick a time and then commit to three to five days a week for starters. Track your progress over a month. Then recommit for another month.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)