DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is a recovering drug addict. About a year ago, he was in a bad place in his life and was in a downward spiral. He got his act together and has now been sober for a year. I am proud of how far he has come and all the changes he has made, but I fear that one day he won’t be able maintain his sobriety.

I have always heard the saying “Once an addict, always an addict,” meaning a person never really gets rid of that addictive aspect their personality. I am afraid that one day down the road, his drug problem will come back and come between us again. Do you think this is an irrational fear? Should I focus on the here and now instead of worrying about the future? -- Questioning Girlfriend, Cincinnati

DEAR QUESTIONING GIRLFRIEND: You cannot predict the future, though it is true that many drug addicts slip. Worrying about that is a futile cause, though. You can talk to your boyfriend about the future. Get a sense from him of what his hopes are for himself and for the two of you. Share your feelings and desires as well. Reveal your concerns about his sobriety.

You should consider going to Al-Anon meetings. These are support groups for people who are in relationships with alcoholics and/or drug addicts. In these meetings, you learn how to cope with your feelings and the way in which your partner’s behavior affects you. You need support independent of your boyfriend so that you learn coping techniques. This will help you to figure out if you can go the distance with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is in a band that travels around to perform at different events such as weddings and corporate functions. I am proud of him for pursuing his passion and being so dedicated to his band. I was lucky enough to attend a couple of the events in New York, where we live.

Next month, my boyfriend has an event in Colorado. He and the rest of the band members have rented a big house and are going to make a weekend out of the gig. I would like to go, but I'm not sure how to bring it up with my boyfriend. Am I overstepping my boundaries or crowding his space if I ask to go to Colorado? -- Band Groupie Girlfriend, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR BAND GROUPIE GIRLFRIEND: I don’t think you should ask to go on the Colorado trip. Your boyfriend is finding his way with his band and deserves space to figure it out. If he invites you to attend the concert, that’s fine. But if he does not, try not to be jealous. Instead, be happy for him that his band is picking up more work and finding its way. If your boyfriend begins to travel a lot with the band, you can tell him that you would like to join them from time to time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away seven years ago. After he died, my mother came to live with my family and me. Because my children have essentially grown up with her living with them since they were babies, their relationship is nothing less than amazing. My kids look to her for advice and support, and they love her dearly. Unfortunately, last year my mother was diagnosed with dementia, and in the past few months it has become progressively worse.

With my husband and me working full-time jobs and the kids in school, we have reached a place where we are unable to give her the care that she needs. I have made the decision to move her into a nursing home; however, I am so scared to tell my kids. They are still relatively young and have not dealt with her dementia diagnosis very well. They feel that if we send her to a nursing home, we are “giving up on her.” How do I get my kids to understand that in order to help her, we need to move her? I am worried that her daily absence will hurt my kids. -- Dementia in the Family, Baltimore

DEAR DEMENTIA IN THE FAMILY: You have to control the narrative. Explain to your children and your mother that it is time for her to live in a place that offers more support and that you will see her frequently. Do your best to establish a regular visitation schedule. Perhaps every Saturday or Sunday, you and the children can go to visit your mother. Bring her to your home for a family meal on the weekends. This consistency should help everyone. You will also need to talk to your children about the inevitable memory loss that is affecting your mother. Do not scare them, but let them know that your mother may be forgetful sometimes. Make sure they know that this doesn’t mean she has stopped loving them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been overweight, but I have also never been happy with how I look. When I was a child, I played sports regularly and ate well. In college, I loved taking different workout classes and trying new diets, which is why my weight fluctuated a little bit. Now I work a 9-to-5 job and rarely get to work out. I usually eat pretty healthy, unless I am tempted to pick up a burger on the way home or order something extravagant at a restaurant.

I want to get back into a good workout regimen, but I’m not sure where to start. Do you think it’s easier to work out with a friend? Work out in the mornings or evenings? I want to get into a schedule so I can stay on top of my weight. -- When to Work Out, Seattle

DEAR WHEN TO WORK OUT: Having a buddy can be helpful to jump-start your workout regimen. What’s most important, though, is building fitness into your schedule. See if you can get up an hour earlier and go to a local gym. Conversely, you can work out immediately after work. Pick a time and then commit to three to five days a week for starters. Track your progress over a month. Then recommit for another month.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two years ago, I met an older woman in my town’s deli. She was eating alone and having trouble reading the check, so I went over to help her. We got to talking and became close friends. Ever since that day we meet up once a month for lunch. She is very old and needs help walking. She rarely gets out because she is afraid she will fall, so I like to take her out from time to time. I think she is great company, and I love listening to her fascinating stories.

My girlfriend finds the elderly woman rude and does not like that I spend time with her. I enjoy going to these monthly lunches, but I can see how it is a little odd. Do you think it’s normal, and should I continue my friendship with this woman? -- Friends With an Elderly Woman, San Jose, California

DEAR FRIENDS WITH AN ELDERLY WOMAN: I think it is wonderful that you are spending quality time with this woman. Too often, when people grow old, they do not have family or friends around to keep them company. It is admirable that you noticed this woman and struck up a friendship with her.

In terms of managing your girlfriend, tell her you are sorry that she and your elderly friend do not click. Stop inviting her to join you during your dates. Do not lie, though. Just make it clear that you enjoy supporting this woman, and you realize that she has come to rely on you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a newish mother; my only daughter is just about to turn 2 years old. She is such a sweet girl, and everything is going great with her health, growth, etc. I don’t want to come off as a vain mother who cares only about looks, but I am having concerns about her ears! I know this may sound silly, but her ears seem to stick out more than normal, and they are becoming more defined as she grows. My husband and I have spoken about getting surgery to correct them and have them pinned back, but we are getting mixed responses about whether this is the right thing to do.

Should I let my daughter grow up and decide for herself, or make this decision for her because I think it is what’s best for her? -- My Daughter Has Big Ears, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR MY DAUGHTER HAS BIG EARS: Have you talked to your daughter’s pediatrician about this? It is true that people sometimes elect to have surgery like this to enhance a child’s appearance from an early age. I’m not a big believer in elective surgery, especially for cosmetic reasons for a child. That said, get your doctor’s recommendation. Be sure to learn the pros and cons of the surgery before you take action.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)