DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away seven years ago. After he died, my mother came to live with my family and me. Because my children have essentially grown up with her living with them since they were babies, their relationship is nothing less than amazing. My kids look to her for advice and support, and they love her dearly. Unfortunately, last year my mother was diagnosed with dementia, and in the past few months it has become progressively worse.

With my husband and me working full-time jobs and the kids in school, we have reached a place where we are unable to give her the care that she needs. I have made the decision to move her into a nursing home; however, I am so scared to tell my kids. They are still relatively young and have not dealt with her dementia diagnosis very well. They feel that if we send her to a nursing home, we are “giving up on her.” How do I get my kids to understand that in order to help her, we need to move her? I am worried that her daily absence will hurt my kids. -- Dementia in the Family, Baltimore

DEAR DEMENTIA IN THE FAMILY: You have to control the narrative. Explain to your children and your mother that it is time for her to live in a place that offers more support and that you will see her frequently. Do your best to establish a regular visitation schedule. Perhaps every Saturday or Sunday, you and the children can go to visit your mother. Bring her to your home for a family meal on the weekends. This consistency should help everyone. You will also need to talk to your children about the inevitable memory loss that is affecting your mother. Do not scare them, but let them know that your mother may be forgetful sometimes. Make sure they know that this doesn’t mean she has stopped loving them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been overweight, but I have also never been happy with how I look. When I was a child, I played sports regularly and ate well. In college, I loved taking different workout classes and trying new diets, which is why my weight fluctuated a little bit. Now I work a 9-to-5 job and rarely get to work out. I usually eat pretty healthy, unless I am tempted to pick up a burger on the way home or order something extravagant at a restaurant.

I want to get back into a good workout regimen, but I’m not sure where to start. Do you think it’s easier to work out with a friend? Work out in the mornings or evenings? I want to get into a schedule so I can stay on top of my weight. -- When to Work Out, Seattle

DEAR WHEN TO WORK OUT: Having a buddy can be helpful to jump-start your workout regimen. What’s most important, though, is building fitness into your schedule. See if you can get up an hour earlier and go to a local gym. Conversely, you can work out immediately after work. Pick a time and then commit to three to five days a week for starters. Track your progress over a month. Then recommit for another month.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two years ago, I met an older woman in my town’s deli. She was eating alone and having trouble reading the check, so I went over to help her. We got to talking and became close friends. Ever since that day we meet up once a month for lunch. She is very old and needs help walking. She rarely gets out because she is afraid she will fall, so I like to take her out from time to time. I think she is great company, and I love listening to her fascinating stories.

My girlfriend finds the elderly woman rude and does not like that I spend time with her. I enjoy going to these monthly lunches, but I can see how it is a little odd. Do you think it’s normal, and should I continue my friendship with this woman? -- Friends With an Elderly Woman, San Jose, California

DEAR FRIENDS WITH AN ELDERLY WOMAN: I think it is wonderful that you are spending quality time with this woman. Too often, when people grow old, they do not have family or friends around to keep them company. It is admirable that you noticed this woman and struck up a friendship with her.

In terms of managing your girlfriend, tell her you are sorry that she and your elderly friend do not click. Stop inviting her to join you during your dates. Do not lie, though. Just make it clear that you enjoy supporting this woman, and you realize that she has come to rely on you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a newish mother; my only daughter is just about to turn 2 years old. She is such a sweet girl, and everything is going great with her health, growth, etc. I don’t want to come off as a vain mother who cares only about looks, but I am having concerns about her ears! I know this may sound silly, but her ears seem to stick out more than normal, and they are becoming more defined as she grows. My husband and I have spoken about getting surgery to correct them and have them pinned back, but we are getting mixed responses about whether this is the right thing to do.

Should I let my daughter grow up and decide for herself, or make this decision for her because I think it is what’s best for her? -- My Daughter Has Big Ears, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR MY DAUGHTER HAS BIG EARS: Have you talked to your daughter’s pediatrician about this? It is true that people sometimes elect to have surgery like this to enhance a child’s appearance from an early age. I’m not a big believer in elective surgery, especially for cosmetic reasons for a child. That said, get your doctor’s recommendation. Be sure to learn the pros and cons of the surgery before you take action.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have been married for over 15 years. They met in medical school. (My father is a surgeon, and my mother was a nurse.) There is a big age gap between them, as my father is 10 years older than my mother.

Growing up, I never noticed the age different, but as we all get older, I can see how such a huge age gap affects their relationship. My father is very traditional in the sense that he doesn’t bother with new trends in the world or updating his lifestyle. On the other hand, my mother is more up-to-date with technology and knows more about the way the world works nowadays. Yesterday, they had a huge argument about getting a new car. My father wants to keep the car our family has now, but my mother wants an updated, safer car. Is there a way I can help my parents solve this dispute? What is your take on martial age gaps? -- Parents' Age Gap, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PARENTS’ AGE GAP: It may be that the issue here is the age difference. It may also be that your father prefers to be in the role of decision-maker and doesn’t appreciate your mother’s pushback. Strategy may be useful here. Perhaps your mother can invite your father to go for a test drive of cars that she finds interesting. She can pose it as a fun activity that does not need to involve buying a car. She should ask him to humor her by going along for the ride -- literally. Exposing him to the new technology firsthand may open his eyes to what is available on the market and how much it costs. If your mother is able to give him this experience, they may be able to move past the rigidity that is currently standing in their way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a pretty busy person. I have a full-time job and a full social calendar, and I love spending the free time I do have just relaxing. My friend recently brought up the idea of joining a book club with him. I love to read and find that it relaxes me when I’m stressed, so my initial reaction was to say yes. When I went home after accepting the offer, I started to doubt my decision. I read when I feel like it, not when I’m told to. I’m afraid that being part of this book group with make me feel obligated to finish the book on a timeline, which I’m not sure I’ll like. Have you had any experience with book groups? Does being in one ruin the relaxing experience of reading? -- Book Club Newbie, Akron, Ohio

DEAR BOOK CLUB NEWBIE: Many people enjoy book clubs because they create the opportunity for a social experience designed around a particular topic. If you like talking about the storyline, plot, character development and other aspects of books, you may enjoy this type of engagement. These clubs work best when the size of the group is manageable -- no more than a dozen or so participants. They tend to meet once a month or even once a quarter. Yes, the discussion can veer toward the social, but the books do get discussed. You should try it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)