DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have always been supportive of my dreams and aspirations. I am a recent college graduate, and I’m trying to get my career started. It is going slower than I thought, but I’m working at it. Recently, my dad has been sharing the idea of purchasing a small resort or beach house that we could turn into a family business. He just bought some beachfront property that he believes could be lucrative. I think it sounds like a great idea, but it’s not something I'm interested in pursuing. My dad says this place will need full-time maintenance.

I have my own dreams I want to focus on, and working on a beach house isn't at the top of my list. How do I make it clear to my dad that the beach house isn't one of my dreams? -- On My Own, Eastern Shore, Maryland

DEAR ON MY OWN: It sounds like your dad is trying to figure out a way to support you with a ready-made idea for making money. It also sounds like you have other ideas for your life. This is a tough situation to be in, because what your dad probably thinks is helping you is creating unwelcome friction.

Rather than completely dismissing your dad’s idea, talk to him. Tell him that you do think he has a great idea, but that you can't think about it seriously as a choice for you right now. Describe what you are looking to do in your life and the steps you believe it will take to be successful. Ask him if he can support your choice to pursue your path. Also ask if he will be able to build this beach house, and if you may be able to support him with it later. Sometimes family businesses are passed down to the children, but you need to be willing to take over at some point if you make that promise now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a large family, and we don’t see each other often. My mother passed recently, and my brother, who lives overseas, came home for the funeral. My brother and I haven’t spoken in 20 years, and at the funeral we barely spoke. He was in the United States for only a day; there was no time to catch up and repair our relationship. We had a close relationship in the past, but now that we live in different countries, we’ve grown apart. I haven’t reached out and he hasn't either, but since my mother died, I want to become closer to my family. How can I repair the relationship with my brother? -- After Mom, Sausalito, California

DEAR AFTER MOM: Write your brother a letter expressing your desire to rekindle your relationship with him. Remind him of how close you were years ago. Apologize for not reaching out in the past. Now that your mom is gone, tell him you want to be closer to him and that you hope he will want the same. Suggest that you start by writing to each other and possibly using FaceTime or Skype to get to know each other as adults.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends and I have known each other since elementary school. We were very close when we were little, grew apart during middle school and are now closer than ever.

The reason we drifted apart was stupid middle school drama, which doesn’t affect either of us anymore, but my friend’s parents still hold a grudge against me. Every time I go over to their house, they are cold toward me compared to our other friends, and they often make jokes about how we grew apart. It has gotten to the point where I avoid going over to this friend’s house because of her parents. Should I talk about it with my friend and ask her why her parents still hold a grudge against me for something that happened so long ago? -- Judgmental Parents, Towson, Maryland

DEAR JUDGMENTAL PARENTS: Start with your friend. Ask her if she has noticed that her parents are particularly hard on you. Tell her you feel constantly judged by them and that you think it is based on the conflict the two of you had years ago. Enlist your friend to help you to change their view of you. You will likely need your friend’s direct support to get them to have a change of heart.

If you feel bold enough, you can say something directly to them. You can ask for permission to address them, and tell them that you have noticed that they seem to have an issue with you. Tell them that you and your friend have a strong bond and that you want them to welcome you. You can acknowledge that when you were kids you had a bumpy relationship, but it is in the past. Ask for them to welcome you back into the fold.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three daughters, all very healthy and happy girls. My middle daughter has always been obsessed with how she looks, whether that’s her hair, skin or makeup. Over the past couple of months, she has become overly concerned with her weight. It has gotten to the point where I am worried about her. She looks thin, which can be a good thing when you can afford to lose some weight, but she did not need to lose any. Everyone keeps complimenting her on how great she looks, which I am afraid is just motivating her to lose more weight. I want to talk to her about it, but I don’t want to come off as attacking her appearance. -- Concerned About Daughter's Weight, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT DAUGHTER’S WEIGHT: Don’t wait to talk to your daughter. You can compliment her on something that you believe is worthy of note, and then ask her about her eating habits. Tell her you have noticed that she has lost a lot of weight recently and that you are concerned that she is going too far. Ask her what she has changed. Try to get her to tell you what she eats every day. If you are worried that she may have an eating disorder, ask her directly -- though she may not tell you the truth. Depending on her responses, you may want to schedule a physical so that a medical professional can assess her health.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I reconnected with a high school friend recently, and we went out for some drinks. The problem is that my classmate treats me like I am still in high school. While I was in high school, I was not the most popular, and I was what some would call "weird." So while we're having drinks, my classmate referred to the strange things I did, and it made me feel bad. I ignored her while she laughed and reminisced. By the end of our meeting, I did not feel like it was a good decision to meet with her. She wants to have drinks again, but I don’t want to. I want to tell her I'm not that same person from high school, and I need her to respect the woman I am now. How do I do that? -- Not the Same 17-Year-Old, Louisville, Kentucky

DEAR NOT THE SAME 17-YEAR-OLD: It is time for you to speak up for yourself. If you have any interest in getting together with this person, you owe it to yourself to let her know that, just like her, you are no longer a high school student. Tell her about yourself and your life. Further, make it clear that you do not appreciate her harping on your behavior from years ago. Suggest that if the two of you intend to rekindle a friendship, you should build it on a bond that you create today.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a small bar, and I see a lot of customers every day. We have a group of regulars and some newbies. One regular comes in and always orders from me. We talk about his job and life, and after each of our conversations, I am more interested. He isn't married or in a relationship. I want to take charge and ask him out for a proper dinner, but I'm afraid he might deny me, creating awkwardness when he comes to the bar. Should I ask him out? How would you suggest I ask? -- Bashful Bartender, Las Vegas

DEAR BASHFUL BARTENDER: You are right to be a bit cautious here. Sometimes people share their life stories openly at a bar because it feels like a safe space in that there are no ties that bind. It is also true that true love has been discovered in that same setting. If you feel like the potential for a relationship with this man is worth the risk of awkwardness, go for it.

Tell your customer that you want to invite him to a “proper” dinner. Say that you like him and want to get to know him outside of the bar. State that you hope he will accept, but if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, you hope the two of you can continue to be buddies at the bar. In this way, you will have given him an out if he needs one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)