DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends and I have known each other since elementary school. We were very close when we were little, grew apart during middle school and are now closer than ever.

The reason we drifted apart was stupid middle school drama, which doesn’t affect either of us anymore, but my friend’s parents still hold a grudge against me. Every time I go over to their house, they are cold toward me compared to our other friends, and they often make jokes about how we grew apart. It has gotten to the point where I avoid going over to this friend’s house because of her parents. Should I talk about it with my friend and ask her why her parents still hold a grudge against me for something that happened so long ago? -- Judgmental Parents, Towson, Maryland

DEAR JUDGMENTAL PARENTS: Start with your friend. Ask her if she has noticed that her parents are particularly hard on you. Tell her you feel constantly judged by them and that you think it is based on the conflict the two of you had years ago. Enlist your friend to help you to change their view of you. You will likely need your friend’s direct support to get them to have a change of heart.

If you feel bold enough, you can say something directly to them. You can ask for permission to address them, and tell them that you have noticed that they seem to have an issue with you. Tell them that you and your friend have a strong bond and that you want them to welcome you. You can acknowledge that when you were kids you had a bumpy relationship, but it is in the past. Ask for them to welcome you back into the fold.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three daughters, all very healthy and happy girls. My middle daughter has always been obsessed with how she looks, whether that’s her hair, skin or makeup. Over the past couple of months, she has become overly concerned with her weight. It has gotten to the point where I am worried about her. She looks thin, which can be a good thing when you can afford to lose some weight, but she did not need to lose any. Everyone keeps complimenting her on how great she looks, which I am afraid is just motivating her to lose more weight. I want to talk to her about it, but I don’t want to come off as attacking her appearance. -- Concerned About Daughter's Weight, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR CONCERNED ABOUT DAUGHTER’S WEIGHT: Don’t wait to talk to your daughter. You can compliment her on something that you believe is worthy of note, and then ask her about her eating habits. Tell her you have noticed that she has lost a lot of weight recently and that you are concerned that she is going too far. Ask her what she has changed. Try to get her to tell you what she eats every day. If you are worried that she may have an eating disorder, ask her directly -- though she may not tell you the truth. Depending on her responses, you may want to schedule a physical so that a medical professional can assess her health.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I reconnected with a high school friend recently, and we went out for some drinks. The problem is that my classmate treats me like I am still in high school. While I was in high school, I was not the most popular, and I was what some would call "weird." So while we're having drinks, my classmate referred to the strange things I did, and it made me feel bad. I ignored her while she laughed and reminisced. By the end of our meeting, I did not feel like it was a good decision to meet with her. She wants to have drinks again, but I don’t want to. I want to tell her I'm not that same person from high school, and I need her to respect the woman I am now. How do I do that? -- Not the Same 17-Year-Old, Louisville, Kentucky

DEAR NOT THE SAME 17-YEAR-OLD: It is time for you to speak up for yourself. If you have any interest in getting together with this person, you owe it to yourself to let her know that, just like her, you are no longer a high school student. Tell her about yourself and your life. Further, make it clear that you do not appreciate her harping on your behavior from years ago. Suggest that if the two of you intend to rekindle a friendship, you should build it on a bond that you create today.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a small bar, and I see a lot of customers every day. We have a group of regulars and some newbies. One regular comes in and always orders from me. We talk about his job and life, and after each of our conversations, I am more interested. He isn't married or in a relationship. I want to take charge and ask him out for a proper dinner, but I'm afraid he might deny me, creating awkwardness when he comes to the bar. Should I ask him out? How would you suggest I ask? -- Bashful Bartender, Las Vegas

DEAR BASHFUL BARTENDER: You are right to be a bit cautious here. Sometimes people share their life stories openly at a bar because it feels like a safe space in that there are no ties that bind. It is also true that true love has been discovered in that same setting. If you feel like the potential for a relationship with this man is worth the risk of awkwardness, go for it.

Tell your customer that you want to invite him to a “proper” dinner. Say that you like him and want to get to know him outside of the bar. State that you hope he will accept, but if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, you hope the two of you can continue to be buddies at the bar. In this way, you will have given him an out if he needs one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest son is going into the Army, and I’m scared. He went to college out of state and has now decided to enlist. After he graduated, I tried convincing him that there are other options besides the Army, but his mind is made up. His father is not supportive and ignores my son when he talks about his future. I’m slowly getting used to the idea of him moving again and serving his country, but I am scared that I might lose my child. How can I become more supportive and comfortable with the idea of my son joining the Army? -- Losing My Son, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR LOSING MY SON: One way to look at your son’s decision is that he is at the age and time in his life when he should be choosing his destiny for himself. It is likely that even if he were making a different choice, you would still be nervous about it because it means that he is choosing to become independent of you. This is hard to accept, but it is part of life.

As far as going into the military, yes, there are risks. Not to frighten you, but there are risks in just about everything, including having him stay at home. Instead of fretting, talk to your son about his ideas. Learn what he’s thinking and planning. Do your best to support him cultivating a sense of agency. Your job as a parent is to help your son become independent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends has been in a relationship with a possessive and mentally abusive boyfriend for the past two years. He is the absolute worst. He treats her horribly, but she is so blinded by love that she doesn't see it. She has spent two years defending him and making excuses for him, which has cost her a lot of friends. As one of the few people who is still close with her, I have learned that I need to keep myself separate from anything having to do with him, or else it will end in us fighting.

When I was at a bar last weekend, I saw her boyfriend there with another woman, and he was definitely not there as “just friends.” I told my friend immediately, and she brushed it off. She basically ignored the fact that he is cheating on her and is now upset with me for getting involved. I am so sick and tired of dealing with her nightmare boyfriend and having him come between us. I've told her this many times, but nothing is going to change. Is it time for me to walk away from this friendship? How can I help her if she won't help herself? -- Extremely Frustrated, Dallas

DEAR EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED: Rather than completely walking away, you can draw a line. Decide not to engage in any discussion about this man -- period. If your friend needs to discuss him, suggest that she speak to someone else. Let her know that you have no more advice for her. If she persists, you may need to walk away -- for a while, at least, until she is no longer under his spell.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)