DEAR HARRIETTE: I reconnected with a high school friend recently, and we went out for some drinks. The problem is that my classmate treats me like I am still in high school. While I was in high school, I was not the most popular, and I was what some would call "weird." So while we're having drinks, my classmate referred to the strange things I did, and it made me feel bad. I ignored her while she laughed and reminisced. By the end of our meeting, I did not feel like it was a good decision to meet with her. She wants to have drinks again, but I don’t want to. I want to tell her I'm not that same person from high school, and I need her to respect the woman I am now. How do I do that? -- Not the Same 17-Year-Old, Louisville, Kentucky

DEAR NOT THE SAME 17-YEAR-OLD: It is time for you to speak up for yourself. If you have any interest in getting together with this person, you owe it to yourself to let her know that, just like her, you are no longer a high school student. Tell her about yourself and your life. Further, make it clear that you do not appreciate her harping on your behavior from years ago. Suggest that if the two of you intend to rekindle a friendship, you should build it on a bond that you create today.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a small bar, and I see a lot of customers every day. We have a group of regulars and some newbies. One regular comes in and always orders from me. We talk about his job and life, and after each of our conversations, I am more interested. He isn't married or in a relationship. I want to take charge and ask him out for a proper dinner, but I'm afraid he might deny me, creating awkwardness when he comes to the bar. Should I ask him out? How would you suggest I ask? -- Bashful Bartender, Las Vegas

DEAR BASHFUL BARTENDER: You are right to be a bit cautious here. Sometimes people share their life stories openly at a bar because it feels like a safe space in that there are no ties that bind. It is also true that true love has been discovered in that same setting. If you feel like the potential for a relationship with this man is worth the risk of awkwardness, go for it.

Tell your customer that you want to invite him to a “proper” dinner. Say that you like him and want to get to know him outside of the bar. State that you hope he will accept, but if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, you hope the two of you can continue to be buddies at the bar. In this way, you will have given him an out if he needs one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest son is going into the Army, and I’m scared. He went to college out of state and has now decided to enlist. After he graduated, I tried convincing him that there are other options besides the Army, but his mind is made up. His father is not supportive and ignores my son when he talks about his future. I’m slowly getting used to the idea of him moving again and serving his country, but I am scared that I might lose my child. How can I become more supportive and comfortable with the idea of my son joining the Army? -- Losing My Son, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR LOSING MY SON: One way to look at your son’s decision is that he is at the age and time in his life when he should be choosing his destiny for himself. It is likely that even if he were making a different choice, you would still be nervous about it because it means that he is choosing to become independent of you. This is hard to accept, but it is part of life.

As far as going into the military, yes, there are risks. Not to frighten you, but there are risks in just about everything, including having him stay at home. Instead of fretting, talk to your son about his ideas. Learn what he’s thinking and planning. Do your best to support him cultivating a sense of agency. Your job as a parent is to help your son become independent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends has been in a relationship with a possessive and mentally abusive boyfriend for the past two years. He is the absolute worst. He treats her horribly, but she is so blinded by love that she doesn't see it. She has spent two years defending him and making excuses for him, which has cost her a lot of friends. As one of the few people who is still close with her, I have learned that I need to keep myself separate from anything having to do with him, or else it will end in us fighting.

When I was at a bar last weekend, I saw her boyfriend there with another woman, and he was definitely not there as “just friends.” I told my friend immediately, and she brushed it off. She basically ignored the fact that he is cheating on her and is now upset with me for getting involved. I am so sick and tired of dealing with her nightmare boyfriend and having him come between us. I've told her this many times, but nothing is going to change. Is it time for me to walk away from this friendship? How can I help her if she won't help herself? -- Extremely Frustrated, Dallas

DEAR EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED: Rather than completely walking away, you can draw a line. Decide not to engage in any discussion about this man -- period. If your friend needs to discuss him, suggest that she speak to someone else. Let her know that you have no more advice for her. If she persists, you may need to walk away -- for a while, at least, until she is no longer under his spell.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and father are divorced. Recently, my mom started dating a guy who seems nice. He treats her well and seems very genuine. Because of the physical distance between us -- we live thousands of miles apart -- I’ve only spent time with them together a couple of times. From what my siblings and I can gather, there is nothing wrong with him. But then I start to think, why is this great guy single at this age? He’s 50. Should I be worried my mom’s boyfriend has an ulterior motive or something that he’s hiding? -- Suspicious of Mom's New Boyfriend, Cleveland

DEAR SUSPICIOUS OF MOM’S NEW BOYFRIEND: Take a deep breath and calm down. Your mother is a grown woman. She is enjoying this next chapter in her life, and by your own account, her suitor seems to be a good guy who treats her well. As you get to know him, you will learn about his life. You can also ask your mother how it is that he is 50 and single. She will know if he has ever been married and what his former circumstances are. If you ask her out of genuine curiosity rather than sounding an alarm, she will likely tell you what she knows. Do not share your worries with your mother. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you have anything to be worried about.

Many men and women are single when they reach their 50s. In some cases, it’s because they never met the right person. Other times they are widowed or divorced, just like your mother. Many of them are perfectly normal, good people.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a daughter who is in her last year of college. She is very social and gets along with everyone. This may sound a little weird, coming from her father, but I am kind of concerned about the fact she has never had a long-term relationship.

I don’t suspect she is interested in women (even though I would not have a problem with that), but she has never had a man who she was particularly interested in, either. I am put in an awkward position because this is every father's dream -- never having your daughter’s heart broken -- but I also think it’s an important experience in life. Do you think this is abnormal at her age of 22? Would it be appropriate for me to bring it up with her? -- My Daughter's Future, Los Angeles

DEAR MY DAUGHTER’S FUTURE: Your daughter is not abnormal. While many young people do navigate the dating world when they are in college, some are more focused on their studies or just haven’t found the right person to spark their interest. Ask your daughter about her life. Do so without judgment, though, which will help her to open up. Start by asking her if there is anybody special in her life. Do not assume that there is not just because she hasn’t told you. If she says no, ask her if she has dated at all in college or if she wants to. Allow her to share her thoughts, and know that this should be an ongoing dialogue. You do not need to get a complete debrief in this first conversation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)