DEAR HARRIETTE: My youngest son is going into the Army, and I’m scared. He went to college out of state and has now decided to enlist. After he graduated, I tried convincing him that there are other options besides the Army, but his mind is made up. His father is not supportive and ignores my son when he talks about his future. I’m slowly getting used to the idea of him moving again and serving his country, but I am scared that I might lose my child. How can I become more supportive and comfortable with the idea of my son joining the Army? -- Losing My Son, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR LOSING MY SON: One way to look at your son’s decision is that he is at the age and time in his life when he should be choosing his destiny for himself. It is likely that even if he were making a different choice, you would still be nervous about it because it means that he is choosing to become independent of you. This is hard to accept, but it is part of life.

As far as going into the military, yes, there are risks. Not to frighten you, but there are risks in just about everything, including having him stay at home. Instead of fretting, talk to your son about his ideas. Learn what he’s thinking and planning. Do your best to support him cultivating a sense of agency. Your job as a parent is to help your son become independent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends has been in a relationship with a possessive and mentally abusive boyfriend for the past two years. He is the absolute worst. He treats her horribly, but she is so blinded by love that she doesn't see it. She has spent two years defending him and making excuses for him, which has cost her a lot of friends. As one of the few people who is still close with her, I have learned that I need to keep myself separate from anything having to do with him, or else it will end in us fighting.

When I was at a bar last weekend, I saw her boyfriend there with another woman, and he was definitely not there as “just friends.” I told my friend immediately, and she brushed it off. She basically ignored the fact that he is cheating on her and is now upset with me for getting involved. I am so sick and tired of dealing with her nightmare boyfriend and having him come between us. I've told her this many times, but nothing is going to change. Is it time for me to walk away from this friendship? How can I help her if she won't help herself? -- Extremely Frustrated, Dallas

DEAR EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED: Rather than completely walking away, you can draw a line. Decide not to engage in any discussion about this man -- period. If your friend needs to discuss him, suggest that she speak to someone else. Let her know that you have no more advice for her. If she persists, you may need to walk away -- for a while, at least, until she is no longer under his spell.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother and father are divorced. Recently, my mom started dating a guy who seems nice. He treats her well and seems very genuine. Because of the physical distance between us -- we live thousands of miles apart -- I’ve only spent time with them together a couple of times. From what my siblings and I can gather, there is nothing wrong with him. But then I start to think, why is this great guy single at this age? He’s 50. Should I be worried my mom’s boyfriend has an ulterior motive or something that he’s hiding? -- Suspicious of Mom's New Boyfriend, Cleveland

DEAR SUSPICIOUS OF MOM’S NEW BOYFRIEND: Take a deep breath and calm down. Your mother is a grown woman. She is enjoying this next chapter in her life, and by your own account, her suitor seems to be a good guy who treats her well. As you get to know him, you will learn about his life. You can also ask your mother how it is that he is 50 and single. She will know if he has ever been married and what his former circumstances are. If you ask her out of genuine curiosity rather than sounding an alarm, she will likely tell you what she knows. Do not share your worries with your mother. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you have anything to be worried about.

Many men and women are single when they reach their 50s. In some cases, it’s because they never met the right person. Other times they are widowed or divorced, just like your mother. Many of them are perfectly normal, good people.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a daughter who is in her last year of college. She is very social and gets along with everyone. This may sound a little weird, coming from her father, but I am kind of concerned about the fact she has never had a long-term relationship.

I don’t suspect she is interested in women (even though I would not have a problem with that), but she has never had a man who she was particularly interested in, either. I am put in an awkward position because this is every father's dream -- never having your daughter’s heart broken -- but I also think it’s an important experience in life. Do you think this is abnormal at her age of 22? Would it be appropriate for me to bring it up with her? -- My Daughter's Future, Los Angeles

DEAR MY DAUGHTER’S FUTURE: Your daughter is not abnormal. While many young people do navigate the dating world when they are in college, some are more focused on their studies or just haven’t found the right person to spark their interest. Ask your daughter about her life. Do so without judgment, though, which will help her to open up. Start by asking her if there is anybody special in her life. Do not assume that there is not just because she hasn’t told you. If she says no, ask her if she has dated at all in college or if she wants to. Allow her to share her thoughts, and know that this should be an ongoing dialogue. You do not need to get a complete debrief in this first conversation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live near a major city. My friends and I often travel into the city for a day of shopping or a fun dinner. In the past few months, there have been multiple terrorist attacks in big cities in both the United States and Europe. I am a very cautious person, so this scares me. It is starting to prevent me from making plans with my friends in the city. I think about what could happen while I am there, so I psych myself out about making the trip into town. Do you think this is an irrational worry? I don’t want to live in fear or continue canceling plans with my friends. -- Fear of Terrorism, Lancaster, Maryland

DEAR FEAR OF TERRORISM: Your fears are understandable. When random acts of terrorism occur with frequency in our own country, we, the citizens, get nervous. That said, you cannot let these few people with bad intentions destroy your life. That’s when they win. If you truly feel paralyzed into inaction, you may want to see a counselor to help you sort through your feelings.

Additionally, you may want to take action. Get involved in the political system in your hometown or even nationally. Find an organization that is actively working to thwart hate crimes and terrorist action, and volunteer for it. By giving voice to your fears and trying to find healthy solutions for how to move forward, you create a better chance for yourself to lead a full life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 22-year-old woman. My best guy friend and I have been close friends for over eight years now. I consider him more like a brother than a friend. Recently, my boyfriend has been hinting that he doesn’t want me texting or hanging out with my friend anymore. We haven’t sat down and talked about it or had a huge argument about this, but it bothers me when he makes comments about how I shouldn’t be as close to my guy friend as I am.

I can see how my boyfriend might be a little jealous, but there is nothing to be jealous of. I need help on how to explain to my boyfriend that my friend will be in my life no matter what, so my boyfriend should learn to coexist with him. -- Boyfriend Vs. Guy Friend, Philadelphia

DEAR BOYFRIEND VS. GUY FRIEND: It is not unusual for a boyfriend (or girlfriend) to be jealous of a close friend. It is also fairly common that one of the two friends has secret romantic feelings for the other -- even if they have gone unexpressed. This is why a partner could feel uneasy about such a close friendship.

Since you feel strongly that you want to keep this friend in your life, you need to work to neutralize the situation. The best way to do that is to have your boyfriend and guy friend get to know each other better. Include both of them in activities so that your boyfriend will come to feel comfortable about this guy friend. Tell them both that it is important to you that they get to know each other. Since they both love you, tell them this is necessary.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)