DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father of three, with one son. I want to have a better relationship with him, but I don’t know how to get closer to him. We used to be very close; we attended baseball games together, went out to dinner almost every week, etc.

My son is 18 years old, which I understand is a time when teenagers spread their wings, but I miss the close relationship my son and I used to have. Every time I text him to see how he is doing or to make plans, he responds with one word. I want to reconnect with him, but I'm not sure how to do this in a way that doesn’t seem too pushy. Do you have any ideas on how a father can regain the closeness with his son? -- Dad Missing Son, Denver

DEAR DAD MISSING SON: Your best chance to rekindle a close bond with your son right now is to tap into his interests. Figure out what he enjoys doing, and invite him to do that with you. It is the job of teenagers to flex their independence. They should spend time away from their parents. For this reason, you should not get too upset with him.

Engaging him in ways that spark his interest is the best way to capture his attention -- for now. Consider inviting his friends to join you for the outings that you plan. This may also resonate for him.

Finally, know that one-word answers are common for young people who primarily use social media. Rather than letting that upset you, realize that it is the way he communicates. More than likely, everybody gets one-word responses from him. Continue to pay close attention to your son to ensure that the distance he is creating is not a sign of bad behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I will be applying to numerous jobs in the upcoming months, and I know some places ask for letters of reference. As a businesswoman, do you think it is better to get a letter of reference from a professor the person is close with, or a previous employer who might not have as much of a personal opinion on the person?

I will be applying to different companies, so should the letter change depending on the type of company I am applying to? -- Letters of Reference, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR LETTERS OF REFERENCE: I recommend that you secure multiple letters of recommendation from people who know you in different ways. A professor who taught you and knows your study habits and capabilities is excellent. You should also include any employer you have worked with who you think would give you a positive report. The employer doesn’t have to know you extremely well. Instead, the employer should be able to speak to your focus as an employee, your commitment to the work and your ability to get the job done.

What’s most important when you apply to different types of jobs is that your cover letter be specific to the role you are applying for. It is up to you to showcase your assets in the best possible manner. Your letters of recommendation serve as backup to your presentation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been talking to my parents recently about going abroad for a semester. My school offers a program where you can take classes toward your degree in a different country, and I think it would be a great experience for me. My dad is on board with this idea because he went abroad and said it was one of the greatest experiences of his life. My mother, on the other hand, is apprehensive about the idea of me going to a foreign country for four months. I want her blessing before I go, but she is very stubborn when it comes to this. How do you think I should handle this situation with my mother? I want to convince her that I will be OK going abroad and that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. -- Persuasive Daughter, Boston

DEAR PERSUASIVE DAUGHTER: Do you have an ally at school who knows more about the program? Perhaps a guidance counselor or the professor who is organizing this program can talk to your parents about the experience, how long it has been in existence, what kinds of precautions are in place to protect the students, what guidelines they must follow, etc. This may not allay all her fears, but information is power and can help your mother to feel more at ease if she knows that the school isn’t just dropping you off in a foreign country and leaving you to your own devices.

You should also think about your own behavior. What can you tell your mother about how you comport yourself that may help her to believe that you will be responsible and cautious while abroad?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 18 years old. My parents have recently started talking about stopping paying my cellphone bill. They think that since I am 18, I should be paying for my own service. I don’t understand their thinking; I do not have a steady income to pay my bill. Their approach to this is that I should be taking on some responsibility, but I don’t see how this will teach me. I feel like the only thing it will teach me is to use less data and make fewer calls. Do you think it’s normal for someone my age to pay their own cellphone bill? Is there an average age where parents stop paying for their children’s bills? -- Struggling Teenager, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR STRUGGLING TEENAGER: There are plenty of teenagers who do not have cellphones at all. So you should step back from your thoughts about unfairness. Instead, get creative. How can you earn money? Can you do anything around your house that your parents would be willing to pay for? Adding chores to your list of things to do might inspire them either to pay you or to defray the cellphone cost.

Look in your neighborhood. Can you cut grass? Baby-sit? Tutor younger kids? Is there a local coffee shop or retail store that needs help? Your parents are letting you know that you need to find a part-time job. Stop complaining and find one. You will probably love the independence and cash you get as a result.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I was sitting in Starbucks doing my work. A man came down to sit next to me, which of course I had no problem with -- until he started watching an obnoxious video on his phone without any headphones on. I understand that it is a public space, but everyone else in the store was reading or doing work. He was easily the loudest person in there because of his phone. I kept giving the man looks and then would look at his phone, giving him the hint that it was very loud and distracting, but he just sat there chuckling at whatever he was watching. Do you think I should have said something? -- Annoyed Starbucks Customer, Portland, Oregon

DEAR ANNOYED STARBUCKS CUSTOMER: Ever since coffee shops became the go-to place for many people to do their work, an unspoken understanding has arisen: Be mindful of your personal space and that of others. This translates into people commonly being conscious of the volume of their conversations and their devices.

You could have nicely asked him to turn the volume down on his phone. It could be that he didn’t realize that he was being a distraction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a rising senior in college, which means I will soon be stepping into the real world and taking on big responsibilities. I am more excited than nervous for this step in my life, except for the fact that I need to find a job. All my peers seem to have either already accepted a job or have one set up. I feel like I am doing something wrong since I don’t have a job offer yet.

Do you know how I should start searching for a job, or if there is a good time when a lot of employers are hiring in New York City? My parents do not live here. Plus, they aren’t willing to take care of me after I graduate. I need to figure this out on my own. -- Stressed-Out Senior, Queens, New York

DEAR STRESSED-OUT SENIOR: Take stock of your career aspirations. What would be your dream job? Think about that and identify a title for it. Then start looking at job postings in that field online. Talk to your career counselor about job leads as well. Many schools receive job postings on a regular basis.

Beyond your dream, be practical. What skills do you have that you can use to earn money? Many college graduates do not start out in their field of choice. If you must work upon graduation, expand your horizons and look for part-time gigs, paid internships or jobs that are peripheral to your interests but that keep you close to your goal. Also check with your school to see if there are any on-campus jobs available. Sometimes students can work in the administrative office even after graduating.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)