DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I was sitting in Starbucks doing my work. A man came down to sit next to me, which of course I had no problem with -- until he started watching an obnoxious video on his phone without any headphones on. I understand that it is a public space, but everyone else in the store was reading or doing work. He was easily the loudest person in there because of his phone. I kept giving the man looks and then would look at his phone, giving him the hint that it was very loud and distracting, but he just sat there chuckling at whatever he was watching. Do you think I should have said something? -- Annoyed Starbucks Customer, Portland, Oregon

DEAR ANNOYED STARBUCKS CUSTOMER: Ever since coffee shops became the go-to place for many people to do their work, an unspoken understanding has arisen: Be mindful of your personal space and that of others. This translates into people commonly being conscious of the volume of their conversations and their devices.

You could have nicely asked him to turn the volume down on his phone. It could be that he didn’t realize that he was being a distraction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a rising senior in college, which means I will soon be stepping into the real world and taking on big responsibilities. I am more excited than nervous for this step in my life, except for the fact that I need to find a job. All my peers seem to have either already accepted a job or have one set up. I feel like I am doing something wrong since I don’t have a job offer yet.

Do you know how I should start searching for a job, or if there is a good time when a lot of employers are hiring in New York City? My parents do not live here. Plus, they aren’t willing to take care of me after I graduate. I need to figure this out on my own. -- Stressed-Out Senior, Queens, New York

DEAR STRESSED-OUT SENIOR: Take stock of your career aspirations. What would be your dream job? Think about that and identify a title for it. Then start looking at job postings in that field online. Talk to your career counselor about job leads as well. Many schools receive job postings on a regular basis.

Beyond your dream, be practical. What skills do you have that you can use to earn money? Many college graduates do not start out in their field of choice. If you must work upon graduation, expand your horizons and look for part-time gigs, paid internships or jobs that are peripheral to your interests but that keep you close to your goal. Also check with your school to see if there are any on-campus jobs available. Sometimes students can work in the administrative office even after graduating.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend grew up skiing his whole life, as did all of his friends. I have never skied in my life. This spring break, our friends (who are all couples) decided they want to go on a ski trip to Aspen, Colorado. I agreed I would go along because I didn’t want to be the Debbie Downer of the group. As the trip gets closer, I am getting more nervous about the fact that everyone else on the trip are avid skiers, whereas I am a beginner. I have signed up for a couple of ski lessons while I am there, but I feel like I will be left out of most of the activities because I don’t ski. What can I do to make the best out of this trip? How can I feel included? -- Girlfriend Who Can’t Ski, Roxbury, Massachusetts

DEAR GIRLFRIEND WHO CAN’T SKI: Talk to your boyfriend about your conundrum. Ask him if he will spend a little time with you on the beginner slopes. You can call it a date! This should happen after you have taken at least one lesson so that you have the fundamentals in mind.

Decide that you are going to have fun. While most activities are on the snow, usually there are things to do inside in the lodge -- from watching movies to going to the spa (depending upon where you are staying) to hanging out and reading a book. Keep your eyes open. Chances are, there will be others there who are not skiing for whatever reason. Strike up a conversation with them. Plan activities with your friends for when they come back. You can make it work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to you not about myself, but about a close friend of mine. She has been one of my best friends for eight years now. She has been dating her current boyfriend for about two years. I have started to notice that I see less of her, and the only times I do get to see my friend are when her boyfriend is busy. To me, it seems like her whole schedule and life revolve around her boyfriend and his schedule.

My friend's relationship is none of my business, but I’m getting tired of being her backup plan and being used when it is convenient for her. Should I say something to her, or not bother bringing it up? -- Best Friend Vs. Boyfriend, Albuquerque, New Mexico

DEAR BEST FRIEND VS. BOYFRIEND: Yours is a classic tale, even though it feels fresh now that it's happening to you personally. Friends frequently lose sight of their besties when they fall in love. It’s almost like time suspends and they don’t realize that the rest of the people in their world have fallen to the wayside.

You can point out to your friend that you miss her and that you are beginning to feel neglected. Suggest that you create a standing date with her, perhaps once a month. Ask her to honor your time and not dump you if the boyfriend calls. See if bringing it to her attention coupled with a positive plan of action helps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always loved to work out. I recently moved to New York City, and I want to find a gym or studio to join. Everywhere I look, the gyms keep getting more expensive. I feel like there is nowhere in the city that has an affordable rate. My friend recommended just running or walking outside, but there are times when it is just too cold or it is raining and I would like to be inside. I am starting to wonder what all the other city dwellers do to stay in shape and not spend a fortune. Do you have any recommendations on whether I should make the investment into a gym membership? -- Runner Without a Gym, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR RUNNER WITHOUT A GYM: Having lived in New York City for most of my life, I can tell you that you are in luck. Essentially, you can find virtually anything at any price here -- with quality! As far as gyms go, you can find an affordable option. Gyms go for as little as $20 per month, possibly less.

To find a gym for you, first select your neighborhood of choice. Then, search online for affordable gyms in the vicinity. Next, comparison shop to see which gym best fits your personality and needs. You can do this!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 10-year-old daughter who will be entering middle school next year. Her father and I have been discussing whether to get her a cellphone. She, of course, has brought this up to us a hundred times and will not stop begging for us to get one. Most of her friends already have phones, but I am a bit apprehensive about getting her one. My husband and I did not get cellphones until we were 15 or 16 years old; I know it was a different time, but 10 years old seems so young to have a cellphone. I read tons of stuff online about how technology is so bad for children’s brains and how you should try to delay giving your kids a phone as long as possible. Is it too early to be giving my daughter a cellphone? -- Cellphone Debate, New Orleans

DEAR CELL PHONE DEBATE: You cannot base your decision on what happened during your youth. Life is different today. Evaluate your daughter’s movements. When is she not in your presence or that of a guardian? How much could she truly need a phone? If there are times when she is without direct adult supervision during the day, a cellphone could be a good safety measure.

The pros of your child having a cellphone include that you can engage an app to track her whereabouts. Life360 is among the most popular. You can tell her that you are monitoring her whereabouts, which will create a bond of trust and keep her secure.

You can manage the cons, at least the most common -- that she could become “addicted” to apps or social media. There are cellphones designed for children that limit the user's access to the internet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)