DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student who is paying for her own education. My friend, "Sarah," and I have bonded over dreading tuition-payment time, but recently she appears to be very rich. She's gotten nice handbags, cash and weekend getaways from what I can tell on her social media. I suspect an older man is helping her out. Should I ask her to open up to me? I never see Sarah working anymore. -- Sugar Daddy, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR SUGAR DADDY: You may be right about your friend, but before you inquire, ask yourself why you want to know. What will you say to your friend if you learn that she has someone footing her bill right now? While I’m sure you don’t think it is a good idea (I don’t either), it will be difficult to convince your friend that she is making the wrong decision while she is in the throes of it.

If you do end up talking to Sarah, you might tell her that you are concerned for her. Although it may seem like fun right now to be taken care of, this usually comes with strings attached. You could remind her of her long-term goals and encourage her not to forget them. You do not need to know who is paying her bills.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss’ son works in my department. A few days ago, my boss called me into his office to ask if I thought his son deserved a promotion. I hesitated, and my boss said I could have a few days to observe and come back to him with a final answer. I have been working in the department far longer than his son, so I would like to use this opportunity to mention that I should be considered for a promotion. Is this the right setting to do this? His son does not deserve a promotion after only a few months on the job. -- My Time to Shine, Pensacola, Florida

DEAR MY TIME TO SHINE: Tread carefully on this one. Do your best to address your boss’ son separately from yourself. Pay attention to the son, and observe how he works. Be prepared to report back to your boss with specifics of what you believe his son is doing well and where he might have room to grow. Note the roles and responsibilities of his position. Based on that, is there room for a promotion? Is it common practice at your company to promote so quickly?

Before the conversation ends, ask your boss if you can inquire about another matter. Remind him of how long you have worked for the company and what you have accomplished. Point to the qualifications for the next job up from yours, and tell him why you think you should be considered for the job. If the son is promoted anyway, do your best not to be upset or jealous. You cannot compete with him. You must stay focused on cultivating your talents.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wedding anniversary is coming up soon, and I really want to do something special with my husband this time. Historically, he never wants to do anything. I always want to create some kind of celebration, and if anything happens, it’s because I plan it. I wish my husband would initiate an idea for us. Since that’s not likely to happen, what can I do to make the day special so that he will enjoy it as well? -- Anniversary Blues, Cleveland

DEAR ANNIVERSARY BLUES: You can start talking up your anniversary and approach it as a collaborative celebration. Remind your husband that you would like to do something special to honor the day. Ask him what he might like. A romantic dinner? A play? A weekend getaway? A party? Throw out a few ideas to see what appeals to him. Find out if he would like to do something just with you or with a few close friends. Figure in your own preferences. If you already know you would like to throw a party, say so. You must be proactive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine just wrote a book. She has been working on this memoir for more than 10 years, and she finally self-published it. She asked me to read it and tell all of my friends about it so that she can get the word out and sell it.

The problem is that I have read it -- well, as much as I can. And it’s not good. The writing is terrible. It doesn’t seem to have been edited. There are lots of typos and grammatical errors, plus the storytelling leaves a lot to be desired.

I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings, but I cannot in good faith tell my other friends that this book is worth buying. What can I say to her? -- Bad Book, Alexandria, Virginia

DEAR BAD BOOK: If you can drum up the confidence, you should tell her the truth. Start by acknowledging how long she has worked on this project and that you know she must feel a real sense of accomplishment in finishing it. Point out, though, that you have some concerns that you would like to share with her. Explain that they have arisen because she asked you to read and then recommend and promote her book. You took her request seriously, and now you have some comments to make before you think the book is ready to be promoted.

Ask for her blessing for you to continue. Then tell her of your concerns. In a perfect world, you will mark up a copy of the book with notations where there are mistakes. If you are adept at doing that, go for it. Otherwise, show her a few places where there are obvious errors, along with questions regarding the content.

Finally, tell her that you will be happy to promote the book -- when you think a paying audience will receive it positively.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I saw what appeared to be self-harm marks on my friend’s hip while we were at the beach. I didn't want to bring more attention to these lines by asking for another opinion, but I am worried about her. Should I probe into her life even though we aren't best friends? No one else seems as concerned as I am. -- Talk to Me, Coney Island, New York

DEAR TALK TO ME: If you think you can get your friend to open up to you, give it a try. Get together with her for a quiet engagement. Introduce a conversation about your life, and encourage her to speak about her own. Know that most people who are living with some kind of emotional disorder or stress do not willingly talk about their challenge. Instead, they usually hide them from the people who interact with them.

In order to get your friend to talk about what you saw, you probably have to ask her about what you think you noticed on her hip. Rather than asking if it was self-harm, why not ask her if she fell or otherwise injured herself? Tell her that you are asking because you noticed marks on her hip. If you have some sense of what your friend may have done, ask her specifically if engages in self-harm; even if she denies it, you can still tell her that you want her to be healthy and whole, and you are worried about her. You can suggest that she have a medical checkup to make sure that she is in good health. Ultimately, though, you will need to accept that she will get help when she is ready -- likely not a moment before.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend, "Amanda," is too spontaneous for my liking. I need concrete plans to be able to commit to something and write it down in my planner. Amanda, however, likes to call me around 6 p.m. and ask if I want to go to a concert in two hours or take the weekend off to go camping. She works for herself, so it is easier for her to make these kinds of plans, yet she always tells me I'm “boring” or “old” whenever I can't give in to her whims. Have I lost my sense of fun, or is Amanda being too hard on me? -- Forewarning, Rochester, New York

DEAR FOREWARNING: You and Amanda have very different concepts of time. That doesn’t make either of you wrong. It makes you different. You do not need to judge yourself harshly, nor should Amanda judge you. To stop the critiques, point out to Amanda that you two have different ways of planning your lives. This is not representative of being old or young, boring or exciting -- it is just different.

Tell Amanda that the chances of you spending time with her increase when you have more warning. This is based on your schedule and the way that you manage your time. Explain that you will try to be more spontaneous, but you cannot guarantee that it will work. Most important, you will feel more comfortable if the two of you can plan a date together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)