DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a landlord in a suburb. As a thank-you for extending the rent due date, one of my tenants gave me a gift of homemade sausage. I was so stunned that I accepted it without asking any questions. It now just sits in my freezer, untouched. Am I allowed to prod my tenant about the contents of this present? I normally wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth; however, I think this situation would allow me to bend the etiquette rules. -- Lonely Links, Near Pittsburgh

DEAR LONELY LINKS: One way to ask about the sausage without seeming rude is to express your true curiosity. Strike up a conversation with your tenant and ask about the whole process. Making sausage at home is not something that is commonly done these days. Ask about the process and the selection of ingredients. Certainly you can ask what type of sausage you were given. This shouldn't be so unusual a question, given that today there are so many variations on sausages in the regular grocery store that who knows what a creative cook might make?

Your attitude going into this conversation is what will make all the difference as it relates to the way your tenant reacts. Be open and interested rather than skeptical and worried. This is an opportunity for the two of you to get to know each other better -- bonding around food.

Know that you will be asked if you have consumed the sausage yet. Be honest and say that you haven't. Admit that you wanted to learn about the sausage before cooking it because you wanted to savor the sausage with the full story of how it was made in mind. If, after you learn about the way it was made, you decide you don't want to eat it, do not say that to your tenant. This is where a little white lie might be better. Or perhaps you can share it with a friend who would enjoy it. Then you can say you did that, and it was a big hit!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am extremely lactose intolerant, and my workplace thankfully recognizes this. On Pizza Fridays, there is always a cheeseless pie ordered for me. Recently, I have been coming to lunch realizing that my pie is gone.

My co-workers have gushed over how all of the vegetables without cheese taste great. I am happy for them, but they are indulging in the only food that I can eat -- whereas they can sample any pie they want. Is there any way to ask my co-workers to stop eating restricted food? -- Lunchless, Los Angeles

DEAR LUNCHLESS: You started a trend! Rather than pressuring your co-workers into keeping their paws off of your pizza, ask the lunch organizer to add a second cheese-free pie to the order. Point out that the group has taken a fancy to your yummy veggies to the extent that they have eaten it all before you got even a slice. Obviously, this means that the cheeseless pizza is a big hit. Urge your employer to replace one of the cheesy pizzas with another one like yours!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has been having sprinkler consultations for the past few weeks because he doesn't want even a drop of his water to land on my lawn. I have my own system that works just fine and has been great for years. It's not fancy, but it keeps my lawn healthy.

I honestly think that this guy is crazy, but my wife is encouraging me to have a conversation to see why he is truly doing this. I don't think this is some sort of hidden issue with boundaries -- some neighbors are simply unbearable. Do I give in to the urging of my wife or take this man for who he is? -- Grass Is Greener, Pikesville, Maryland

DEAR GRASS IS GREENER: Start by taking a deep breath. Stop assuming what your neighbor's motive is, especially since you tend to assume the negative. You cannot know what your neighbor's intention is without asking. But please do not ask with anger or hostility in your tone. Before asking, consider the range of reasons he may be doing this. One could be that he should not be watering your lawn without your permission. In truth, he really should be able to control where his sprinklers direct their spray.

Go with curiosity. Ask your neighbor why he has been interviewing so many sprinkler businesses. What is he looking for? Be curious about his research. If you firmly believe he is trying to keep water off your lawn, ask him if that is the case. Let him know that it would not offend you if some of his water touched your grass even as you point out what system you already have in place.

Know that he may not tell you what he has in mind for his lawn, and that's his prerogative. Ultimately, you may have to ignore his research efforts. As long as he does nothing to harm your lawn or your property, you may have to shrug this off as him just being an obsessive neighbor.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For my boyfriend's birthday, I got him tickets to a sports game. After his birthday and before the big game, I found out that he was cheating on me and ended it with him. I spend hundreds on the tickets and want them back. How can I ask him to return them? I would love to be civil with him but also want to make sure he does not make use of those tickets. -- Game Over, Syracuse, New York

DEAR GAME OVER: Cheaters are not honest people. What are the chances that your cheating ex will do the right thing? Probably slim. But it's worth a try.

Call him and ask for the tickets or the money for the tickets. Be direct. You bought that generous and thoughtful gift for him when you thought he was committed to you. You are devastated that he would cheat on you. While you are dealing with his deceit, you do not want to reward him for bad behavior. Ask for the tickets or a check.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is convinced that bleaching her hair after a bad breakup is the only way to get over her ex. Clearly, this isn't true and will completely ruin her hair for years to come. I don't think the damage is worth it and have never even dyed my hair, yet I've gotten over breakups just fine.

I already told her this would be like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die, but she is not having it. Have I done enough as a friend to stop her? I don't want to be the soundboard to her complaints after she goes through with this. -- Bleach Blonde, Las Vegas

DEAR BLEACH BLONDE: People find all kinds of unusual ways to say goodbye to bad relationships. While bleaching absolutely does damage your hair, for most people, the hair will grow back, and you can cut the dry, bleach-burned hair off. In other words, your best friend's way of exorcising her grief may not be the worst choice she could have made.

As far as you having to listen to her lament the state of her hair sometime down the line, it will be up to you what you do when she starts the complaints. You can foreshadow your intended reaction by telling her now that when her hair starts falling out, she shouldn't come to you for sympathy. But in the moment, you will have to speak up and tell her you are unwilling to hear to her sob story because you really did predict that it would happen. Good luck with that!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children coerced me into buying them pet turtles. Lo and behold, I am the only one taking care of them. My kids don't even pay attention to them! I called the pet store and they said that they cannot accept the animals back years after purchase. I have been plotting to release the turtles into a local pond. I am not sure if they will survive, but I cannot spend any more time and money on these creatures. What should I tell my children if they ask where the turtles went? I don't want them to think that I am heartless. -- Swim Away, Fort Lee, New Jersey

DEAR SWIM AWAY: I know your pain! I willingly bought my daughter two turtles 10 years ago, mistakenly thinking they were easy to care for and that they would be a short-lived pet experience. I had not done my homework; turtles can live as long as 100 years! And they grow to be huge.

What we did at the end of last year was to give our turtle to our local pet store. We had built a great relationship with them, and they took our turtle and sold it to another customer. We had also looked into re-homing our turtle, which some exotic pet hospitals can help you do, but that can be expensive.

Do know that it is illegal to put the turtles into your local pond. Captive turtles are not accustomed to a natural ecosystem and often overeat when they are freed. This in turn can upset the ecosystem for the other aquatic animals.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)