DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working so much that I am utterly exhausted. I have a great job, and I serve in a leadership role in two volunteer organizations. I love what I do, but I think I am spreading myself too thin. A couple of weeks ago, I had a panic attack. I ended up in the hospital because my blood pressure was going through the roof. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t know what to do. But I’m worried. Right now, things are OK, but the doctors told me that I have to slow down, or else I could end up in the hospital again. I think that means I should let go of something, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stop my volunteer work, but I need a job to afford the volunteer time. -- Betwixt, Detroit

DEAR BETWIXT: Consider what just happened to you as both a blessing and a wake-up call. A panic attack could have been something much worse. You must be still long enough to figure out what you need to release from your life. You already know that something has to go. If your heart tells you that it should be your job, then make a plan. Perhaps you can take a leave of absence from both of your volunteer positions so that you can focus on finding a new paying job. Once you find something that better suits your needs and interests, you can resume the volunteering. Consider doing one volunteer job at a time.

You must put yourself first: Change your diet, increase your exercise, find calming things to do that support your overall health. You have to be your priority. Otherwise, it all goes away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son’s birthday is coming up, and we usually have a huge party for him. This year, finances are tighter than in the past, and we can’t afford the blowout event. We have been suggesting ideas that are more manageable for our budget, but our son, who will soon turn 15, is having none of it. He is acting like a 5-year-old and demanding something that we cannot do. To be fair to him, we have always been able to host fabulous parties in the past. It is our fault that he thinks anything is possible. How do we break it to him that this year there's a limit to his fun? -- Smaller Party, Philadelphia

DEAR SMALLER PARTY: It’s time to give your 15-year-old a reality check. Too bad you haven’t talked to him about budgets before, but now is the time. Explain that he cannot do the blowout party this year, period. Come up with specific ideas that fit your budget. You can let him choose. If he can’t seem to decide, step in. Pick a party that you can afford. Then be enthusiastic about it, and encourage your son to be excited, too. This will make his guests happy about whatever activity you choose.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved across the country for a job. I’m excited about this opportunity, and things are working out pretty well so far. My issue is that I cannot travel home for Christmas. It’s too expensive, plus I am new to the job and get only two days off. It makes no sense to travel 3,000 miles for two days.

I don’t know many people in my new city, because I’ve just been working. Now I am in a predicament. I usually spend a week with my family wrapping presents, putting up decorations, cooking, everything that families do. I have no idea what to do this year. I don’t know where to begin. Can you give me some ideas? -- Alone at Christmas, San Diego

DEAR HARRIETTE: It can be lonely to be so far away from your family during the holidays. The good news is that there are options everywhere.

I recommend volunteering at an organization that helps others. This will make you happy for sure! You just need to do a little research. Most churches offer meals to homeless and low-income people. They always need help serving food and sometimes in food preparation. Check with your local chamber of commerce for volunteer opportunities. Same goes for libraries, shopping centers and food kitchens.

One more thing: Use Skype, FaceTime or another video-conferencing tool to connect with your family each day of the holiday season.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is super generous, so much so that I feel like I need to tell her to slow down. Whenever she crosses paths with a homeless person, she gives them money. During the holiday season, she ramps it up even more and gives more money to individuals she runs into as well as to charity. I know she has a great heart, but I worry about her finances. She has a low-paying job, and she will be retiring soon. I keep telling her she needs to keep some money for herself, but she won’t listen to me. I would never want her to stop being generous, but how can I get her to pay attention to herself, too? Nobody in our family has a lot of money. If she retires without enough to care for herself, I am afraid she might hit hard times. That would be too ironic, given how generous she has been her whole life. -- Taking Care of Sis, Little Rock, Arkansas

DEAR TAKING CARE OF SIS: Your sister has tremendous faith as well as a generous heart. Her faith tells her that she will be OK. Your practical concern about her well-being may be the perfect support to her somewhat blind faith. Ask your sister if she will allow you to review her finances -- for the purpose of helping her plan for retirement. Do not talk directly about her generosity. Focus on her personal finances. Point out that she is always giving to others, and you want to make sure that she gives to herself, too.

Suggest that she get a personal financial adviser who can assist her in reviewing her retirement funds and strategy. Your job is to point her in the right direction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister just told me that she has diabetes. Her numbers were off the charts when she last went to the doctor for an appointment. I just went to the doctor for a physical and was told that I am prediabetic. I am devastated. I have known for years that my father’s family is prone to diabetes early in life, but I was determined that it wouldn’t happen to me. So far, it seems that it has. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give in to this disease. Any ideas? -- Family Death Sentence, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FAMILY DEATH SENTENCE: Get proactive. Given that this disease runs in your family, you must be extra vigilant to ensure that you do not succumb to it. Start by getting clear directions from your doctor about what you should and should not eat. Typically, this means that you must dramatically reduce or eliminate sugar from your diet. This is not easy to do, especially if you eat out a lot or eat canned or prepared foods. Do your best to prepare your own meals from scratch. This way, you will know exactly what ingredients you are consuming.

Start an exercise regimen. Many people become diabetic due to poor diet and lack of exercise. Move your body daily. Get your heart rate up and lose weight. You may be able to reverse your prediabetes by taking strident steps today. For ideas on good food choices go to: besthealthmag.ca/best-you/diabetes/the-top-20-foods-for-beating-diabetes/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year for Christmas, my mother makes cookies for all of our family and friends. She has been doing this forever, and it’s a lot of fun. My siblings and I are grown and have families of our own, but she still makes cookies for us. I’m worried that she is overextending herself, though. She is getting up in age and has arthritis. I have told her that it’s OK to make fewer cookies, but she won’t entertain that idea. How can I help her to see that it’s OK to slow down? -- No More Cookies, Savannah, Georgia

DEAR NO MORE COOKIES: Don’t steal your mother’s joy. She loves her tradition and should not be discouraged from contributing to the holidays in a way that is meaningful for her. Depending on your schedule and those of your siblings, you can offer to make cookies with your mother. Rather than her laboring alone at home, you can turn the cookie-making ritual into a shared family experience. Figure out who can be present with your mother leading up to the holidays. Then present the idea to your mother so that she welcomes the family in to participate in the baking. Ask her to teach you how to make her delicious cookies. Make it clear that you want to spend more time together as you also help her keep her holiday tradition going. You can also offer to make personal deliveries of the cookies when they are packaged and ready to go. This could create a new bonding experience for all of you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)